What a silent thread this is. ++++++++++++++++++++++++ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ inhale, inhale the air around, all the pollution and smells, exhausts and bird songs. inhale, lick your hand. is it tasty? you like? enjoy, enjoy, enjoy, do you enjoy? or not? your hand? inhale, get rid of the bad smells, do it again, again, again, again, again - like from a machine gun, then lick your hand you like it, I see the smile, I see you bite, already see the bone.
'tis funny I was just thinking the same thing..... I was thinking about posting this eulogy to a passed friend. I uploaded the poem and the original music sometime ago If you have audio you might like to experience it: http://www.paygency.com/eulogy.htm Titled: But still we miss them.
preamble: After opening my eyes for another day of smelling urine soaked sheets and the stench of a soiled napkin. I see the nurses smile As she asks “ How are we this morning Mr Rogers” Of course she wasn’t expecting me to reply In fact I haven’t said a thing for nearly a year now. As she goes about her chores, changing the sheets and attending to the other areas of undignified waste, I notice the pain on the base of my spine, excruciating ulcerations due to lying in bed for so long. I try to tell her but my lips wont move, I try to lift my hand but it just sits limp like so much else about me. As she rolls me over she sighs, upon seeing the necrotized flesh, the smell over comes her for just a moment as she struggles to understand why I am still alive. The morning tasks done food arrives and a nurses aid with gentle words and patience spoons food into my mouth and wipes the excess dribbling out the side. Chatting as if to herself about the weather and her young children at home. I want to join in but of course my mouth is impotent. As she is finishing she looks just for a moment, a look of curiosity, looking for signs of cognizant awareness, a tear shows in my stationary eyes, oh Lord, I can’t even cry the tears I need to cry. Finished she leaves only to be replaced by Gloria, my wife of 40 years. In her hands as usual she carried pictures of our grown up children, which she placed on the little table next to the bed. She would pick up each picture and tell me the latest gossip about that child. She told me of my daughters up coming wedding and told me how she wont come to see me any more because her heart breaks every time she does. Intuitively she knows that something is listening to her but of course she can not see any sign of it. Eventually she hold up a picture of the two of us enjoying one of our holidays down the beach. Her eyes are wet but she is brave, her courage is astounding as she talks of loving times past. The monitor next to the bed lets out a loud continuous beep, I look at her eyes one last time and slowly she fades as focus is lost, her voice yelling “Nurse! Nurse! fades also as I drift in to oblivion, smiling with in for the first and last time in years. The final smile Awake Rancid smell of urine soaked sheets Defecations between my legs and still my heart beats Imagination and will impotent Body flaccid, yet mind clear Plenty to say and do, Eyes that can only wander and can shed no tears. Memories come and go a year has passed and here I have laid Necrotized flesh on my back lying still a price to be paid. Nurses arrive and tend to my needs talk in pleasantries with condescension Rub ointments on my back and try to relieve my tension. Food it spooned into my mouth As once I was a baby in my mothers arms I am enraged that this is my life But the time that I could show what I feel has long since gone. Lying on my side now I watch the monitors green line, bouncing as they do to the rhythm of my heart. A noise sounded and the line stayed still pulsing no more. And as nurses moved swiftly into the room. Light faded from view The first and last smile appeared on my heart that no one could see, as oblivion’s veil came and covered me. Scott Sieger 12/2004
An eternal sunrise after the night, The warmth from a fire that lessens the bite, The cool calming sands on the wake of each shore, And the rich warm blue water that laps evermore; Of dark and of light, mixed dusk unto dawn, Combined, unintelligible, the both carry on. Then one lightning bolt, one stab in the dark, Rip white and black most cruelly apart. And as they unwind from each other's embrace, The crowbar, the thorn, with unmoving malace, In passivity bellows her cold silent thunder, And rips hand from hand, dark and light asunder. A story most old, that of love and of hate: Both equal and balanced, the eternal debate, Are found either bound in a loving embrace, Or miserably feuding in an undying race. As they grope for a foothold they fued in the rain. And the world falls apart, it all seems in vain...
-Once bitten, Twice Shy With the coming of first light, trepidation born of shadows fade as one with obscurity into the depths within. Dawn brings illumination, with it hope of imagination quelled in the impending birth of darkness. A cycle of fear ever unbroken in the eyes of a child. a work in progress.
EYES Sick to my mind, drawing illusions, eyes closed..confused conclusions.. optomisticly challenged, holding back from my malice, trying to overcome. swimming in your eyes. the trueness keeps me from knowing. your eyes, o your eyes. they sing to me in an enticing sleep. mysteric wonders show nothing but hate. still trying to make it past your trap. the eyes that sit there and lie. i accept the pain, when i know i cant win. i decline your presence when i know i cant have you. i am confused on my future, still making decisions. in the end, i know im going to fail. theres nothing to change her.. but i know she can change me...
Scream into my ears for future hopes. No good will it do tho, because you are mute to me. for the pain hasnt forgotten. and the forgiveness wont be shed. Look past our presence and into the future. Confused yet all my heart is spilled upon you. cant choose, but love sure isnt steady lying here, my mind is beat, your on my mind.. and in my heart. smiling and staring. people dont comprehend the happiness that swells inside. pumping with love i call after we hang up just to remind you again of my love for you. the day is over and the night draws near. then i cant fall asleep once your on my mind, yet again. as i fall asleep, i wake up the next day hoping i see you soon. i love you more than i ever have. Drawn to close, yet its a ride to risk. and we still havnt learned.
©2005 i no i HAVE to ^ beacuse these poems are going to make it big... cough...cough... welll i did have a poem get published in a book Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
o by the way i wrote all those "pain" lyrics when we broke up, but were back together now since i no yall all care SO MUCH haha
[A song of playful warning] Little, little children dance - Flames! flames! flames!; In flames they bathe their teeth and rags - Flames! flames! flames!, But nothing hurts their diamond hearts; Death! death! death! Little, little children dance - Death! death! death!, They come and glance in mortal eyes - Then flames! flames! flames! Little, little - look like children, Old as stones are their bones; Little, little chance for you In flames! flames! flames! --- © 2005 Avatar
Travel through shattered glass, bare feet are sailers in the sea of blood, bare lips touching the Sun burning to dust Shrieks retreating through the bloodstream to the sleeping chambers beneath the Earth on their way eating the last rays of the Sun Let's return after the night and let us come back, they nod and whisper "goodnight", till the morning of life rises again from the ashes and dust, the dead --- © 2005 Avatar
<i>Self control, know yourself - always. Don't let anyone tell you can't, tell them all to say: you won't. And then <b>SCREAM </b></i>sharpen your nails <i><b>SCRATCH </b>BITE OUT THEIR FLESH bleed bleed bleed they all bleed DOLLIES, DOLLIES! my precious, little - <b>WITH A KNIFE! </b> you scream in my... tender hands I lov!.. <b>you not</b> let me lick your blood I loooooove love to lick my bleeding hand play.... breathless! laugh! breathless... come to me, <b>play!</b> </i> -- © 2005 Avatar
whilst maintaining an avid love of aestetics..... i find it hard to see these poems as little more than the rantings of .......... well, you know . This kind of pros is essentially the stream of mind juice and head output that is perhaps sent out with a giddy anticipation and a drunken sneaky grin from those who would almost congradulate inwardly, any of those who might decypher them on or near to their original launch pad. not to say that this level of self belief is'nt good..... but just it pangs of 17 year old just discovered freud limitings...... the charm of poems surely should'nt be in the form of a transaction???????????????? to be able to create something lovely and eye roundening from a code should surely be the aim. if anything at all is there, then it should be ...... this ....... and i dont mean THIS HERE YOU INFIDELS..... YOu uniformed evelutionaries ......... we are exp? its ok .I'm sorry I'm a bit of a TWAT and i'm from poo poo town i thin and i'm thinner. ok ok ok o k i'm sorry i am not taking the piss... this is self expression but you know that ..... does anyone else here think they should be brave?
I sculpture myself out of rock, dig out of the sand, and yet all that is is the Earth. Wind and fire in the sky, songs beyond what is life and what is death; kill the wind? Kill my breath! It is out, molecules in space.
