21 y/o virgin here

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by stateofmind, Mar 1, 2009.

  1. Bowser Namaste Valued Senior Member

    Your happiness is paramount. My son recently moved into an apartment with his friend. We see him on the weekends when he comes over to wash laundry. He seems very happy.
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  3. pluto2 Valued Senior Member

    You don't understand. I don't want anything to do anymore with my parents.

    I want my own life and my own money and my own freedom and independence and my own career.

    The problem is that my parents are narcissistic and they can't stop controlling me.
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2017
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  5. Bowser Namaste Valued Senior Member

    And you should have those things.
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  7. pluto2 Valued Senior Member

    I often envy people who are dead or dying always wondering why I cannot be dead as well.

    All my life I have been ignored and abused by others and especially by people on the Internet and I know that I will never have a loving girlfriend or have sex with beautiful young girls or even ever have a loving family or children of my own or anything like that.

    I'm too unattractive to even get a single date with someone of the opposite sex.

    I'll probably be a kissless virgin forever and I don't want to live like that.

    I want to commit suicide so badly because honestly I'm really getting tired of life and my constant suffering and my constant struggles.

    Not good things ever happen to me in life and I just sit here and suffer all the time.

    The problem is that I'm afraid of death and I'm not brave enough to commit suicide but honestly many times I want to be dead and buried and be completely forgotten already.
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2018
  8. birch Valued Senior Member

    you are a liar or deceiving yourself. anyone can find a girlfriend, wife her and have a family if that's what they really want. there are tons of losers out there who do, why can't you?

    if you shoot for more than you are, then you will fail. i am a loser and i am aware of my position in this life so know what is appropriate or not for me. evaluate yourself honestly and where you are at as well as your personal attributes ( level of education, accomplishments, level of intelligence, moral values, personal tastes, interests/hobbies, looks, any particular vices and type of personality) then you will have a more accurate idea of who and in what strata should be your targets. this doesn't mean that you have to accept anyone that is not compatible with you or your values but as a male, you have more chances since the world is also full of women who want a family more than males.

    if you want better, improve yourself otherwise if you don't match your target, why should they sacrifice themselves for you? of course, this will not be exact nor does it have to be but generally it holds true. otherwise, if you want to stay single, then that's also an option.

    the world is full of single people and many even by choice, so why is your life so much more horrible?
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2018
  9. pluto2 Valued Senior Member

    Your post is crap as usual because being single by choice is not the same as being single when it's completely not by your choice.

    Also after all the abuse I went through many times I wish all humans would have gotten exterminated from the face of this earth.

    I spend most of my time playing video games, they help me cope and let me take my anger out and provide an escape from this cruel world.
  10. birch Valued Senior Member

    you are only 21 and you have given up already? your post is total bs and you have no reason to feel sorry for yourself.

    from what you describe, you haven't gone through shit. you are a spoiled and weak. that is a choice on your part! the op (which is not that serious or grave) is construed as the worst problem a person can face and it's not that big a deal. perhaps you need some real serious problems like hunger and homelessness so you will not think getting some nooky or not is the end of the world, which is ironicly even more repulsive because you can but don't really want to, then complain about it.

    how i know is you totally ignored the truth of my post. you want to complain you can't have relationships, you are too ugly etc when there are people out there who i bet are as ugly or uglier than you who have girlfriends or have had sex. you don't want to face the facts because you want to feel sorry for yourself or you stupidly or pompously go after girls who are out of your league to justify your own failures as other's faults (mistreatment of you).

    when i was your age, i wasn't thinking about things like that and i didn't have relationships because i was too busy trying to fix myself and get on with my life as well as my goals. i didn't expect relationships as if there had to be some artificial set timeframe when a relationship should take place or when someone should lose their virginity. i'm not that unrealistic, self-centered and self-entitled!! also, i know what fuking real problems are!!

    what makes you think you should have someone when you aren't trying to anyways? the game of dating/love is a challenging game which you will get bruised more than likely. you either get in the ring and take the possible punches that come with it or stay the fuk out and don't complain then.

    let me compare you to my son for instance, he's about your age but he is not stupidly obsessed with women or virginity because he has his head on straight, his priorities straight and actual goals and interests for himself which are beyond just obsessing over stupid shit like when and how a girl would like him. he is far busy for that dumb shit. that's the stupidest thing i ever heard including the op. you meet people you like or don't, go from there and if you can fit them in your life path or not. that's how it is. there are no guarantees.

    i knew that in time i would end up meeting someone eventually anyways (several times). it's almost impossible not to unless you consciously decide to shut yourself in. some do that and don't complain because they admit that's a choice they made. you made that choice so don't complain women aren't knocking your door down to get to you.

    you are still young, have a whole life ahead of you and you can work on making a plan for your life but you act like your at the end of your life.

    i'm done.
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2018
    Xelasnave.1947 likes this.
  11. birch Valued Senior Member

    i have to laugh at what people call problems. many people seem to think they are entitled to affection from others and the only level of affection they are entitled to is basic humanity and civility (in most cases) from others. everything else is extras.

    so often, especially sexual harassers, target wildly inappropriate women in comparison to themselves and pretend it's the others's fault because they are too selfish to ever ask themselves the pertinent question which is why the fuk should they like you in the first place? what do you have in common or how much?

    the other aspect is the pretense that sexual frustration or dating woes as in lack is something others should fix. if you are without a relationship, that's what your hands are for. if you can't jerk off because you don't have hands, then that may be grounds for pity/sympathy. if you want a loyal companion and friend, get a fuking pet! if you want sex that badly, go to backpages, practice safe sex and pay for it. there are tons of different types, even fresh college girls. no one owes anyone sex . improvise. don't pretend that there are no solutions.

    there have been stretches of years where i was celibate and i have a high sex-drive and i wasn't complaining. take care of your business. i even chose to forego some relationships or got rid of them asap when i had my son because i didn't want him to be disrespected or have to deal with a strange man as i saw that could be damaging. i put him first as a parent is supposed to do and even worse, i had to give him up when i was not up to the task of taking proper care of him even though i loved him deeply.

    some of these people who complain about their virginity are too depraved and influenced by trash ethics to realize that is something they could be even proud of and that includes men, in a culture where so many are too eager to lose their virginity or be sexually active/promiscuous. i was the type of girl who wanted to save my virginity for the person i loved but i didn't even get that choice. i was the proverbial good girl.

    these people have that choice and instead of seeing it as a virtue, they see it as shameful and horrible because they have let this culture determine their point of view on the matter or let others embarrass them when in reality they are more likely to be envious of the self-control and standards they don't want to exercise.

    be proud of your virginity, whether by choice or by circumstance. it is nothing to be ashamed of, no matter your age. actually, even though it is unpopular, those who become sexually active from an early age are the ones who should be more ashamed of themselves but it's not viewed that way because society's equilibrium even when it comes to ethics has to do with the majority and so as not to shame them, so the other minority will be shamed instead to offset their own weaknesses or in some cases, depravity.

    there are examples of great people who have chosen celibacy for a greater cause than themselves. you are in good company. what is there to be embarassed or ashamed of?
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2018
    Xelasnave.1947 likes this.
  12. billvon Valued Senior Member

    I think I see why you are having trouble meeting people . . . .
  13. Xelasnave.1947 Valued Senior Member

    Hi Pluto
    I hope you know most of us care for you.
    Look at the time Birch has taken and she is really trying to help.
    I will offer advice and I hope it will help.
    I do think you need to spend more time outdoors.
    It is good for you.
    Even if for a couple of minutes outside is where we come from and you seem to have created a mental and physical prison.
    If you can look up and at the stars.
    I know you will reject this idea but join a gym. Does not have to be any more than moderate exercise but you will get out and be around others.
    As to a relationship we are all impatient for it to happen but it does and so often out of the blue.
    Dont place emphasis on appearances your or others as honestly its your personality that counts.
    Perhaps get a hobby other than just games.
    And try to be compassionate to your parents they may be all you say but deep down they love you and wat you to be happy.
    And as the years pass you may find that you will feel the same about them.
    They are also trying to cope.
    Imagine when you become a parent how tuff it will be and must be for your parents.
    They are people try and understand them and foster compassion for them.
    And concentrate on eliminating bad self talk...it is the enemy.
    I play a game where I refuse to sad anything bad...
    Instead of a dead end street you call it a cul de sac...
    You know my hair is still black...I started saying many years ago when I looked in the mirror..my hair is getting blacker...crazy eh but I am 71 years next week and I have black hair on my head.
    I lose weight that way..I look in the mirror and say ..I am losing weight...and why I dont know it comes to pass.
    Try looking and saying to yourself... you hansome brute I will go out so the girls can look at a real man...
    Sure its silly but silly leads to happiness and believe me if thete is one thing girls like is someone who can be happy.
    So many folk act oitside of who they are so be yourself ...mate that is powerful...and if they dont like you its their lose as it may be a while before they meet another happy honest person.
    Main thing lets others talk..
    A girl at the pub said to me...Alex you know what I like about you..you are a great conversationalist. ..she had been talking for 30 minutes straight and all I was saying was...thats interesting, then what happened, what did yoy think when they said that...
    Make a list..people dont want to hear about you they want to tell you about them...try it and control yhe game.

    I sincerely wish you the best and I know things will work out...paricularly if you keep saying..things will work out.

  14. pluto2 Valued Senior Member

    Personally I doubt you're a girl because you sound so much like a guy.

    Anyway I think you're just trolling.
  15. exchemist Valued Senior Member

    I don't think so. I think birch is a woman, but one who has had a rough time for some reason and is semi-permanently pissed off as a result. But then, what do we know about each other on the internet?: damn-all!
  16. birch Valued Senior Member

    it's obvious it's you who has been trolling because you are focused on the wrong aspect again. i just gave you an alternative perspective or a silver lining to a situation to consider. it's up to you to take it or leave it.

    i find it bizarre and uncomprehensibly stupid that someone so young thinks not having a gf/bf is the end of the world. i've known young men who are parapalegics who are in wheelchairs who have never had a romantic relationship or they have too much problems to have one and they just find other interests. they have less of a chance than you. i met a guy in a homeless shelter like that and he just dedicated himself to other causes or interests. there are boys who have some deformity where they will never have a relationship or children but here you are thinking not losing your virginity is a horrible situation. not because you do or don't have a girlfriend but because you are so young. i grew up horribly abused but i didn't have such a defeatist attitude as you did and took stock of my situation and tried to work with it and what i had the best i could. no one knows what the future really will be like but i still tried and kept going as long as i could. even with no support and mental/emotional health issues i kept trying different things trying to survive (even often ostracized or mistreated as the world can be a cold competitive place) and most times i didn't have a relationship or anyone.

    actually, you have not earned the right to give up yet. but if you do, don't complain about it. technically, there is no one way or lifestyle one must adhere to. that's also another problem with your limited perspective is you don't have one because you either are not that bright/intelligent or don't have enough life experience to have developed others. one is that there are people 'avoiding' relationships and here you are eager for one. lmao

    but you have not said that you have any of those impediments. to put it bluntly, i suspect you have a overly huge ego when it comes to women (because you keep mentioning beautiful women and what makes you think you deserve beautiful women if you just admitted you aren't? ) and therefore strike out targeting the wrong ones for you. it's no different than pompous sexual harassers as they have the same unwillingness to look at and evaluate themselves and push themselves on any woman out there and complain women aren't wanting them, picky, mean etc when deep inside they know they are just trying to get someone they are not fit for.

    people who are not truly egotistical assholes don't say to themselves that they deserve mr. or ms. universe when that's not what they are or where they are at. i don't say to myself i deserve brad pitt look alikes or successful, rich men or people who are more intelligent than me or people who have different interests than me or people who have different values than me or huge age differences where there is little in common just because it appeals to ego or don't care actually what they are. that type of mindset is actually disgustingly inhumane, selfish, inconsiderate, objectifying ,and entitled.

    there are men on the bottom like this and at the top and some women but not as much.
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2018
  17. pluto2 Valued Senior Member

    I think I have a better chance of finding sex and a girlfriend in Africa.

    White women are more entitled and more spoiled and more hard to please than black African women, especially young and pretty-looking white women.

    Most white people themselves can be pretty racist and most black people over the all whole world know this, especially poor black women living in Africa.

    Black people in Africa, the United States and in Brazil suffered from racism from white people for a pretty long time and they know that white people can be pretty racist sometimes.

    This is why I think it's better to date black women who have better personalities than most spoiled but pretty white girls.
  18. TheFrogger Banned Valued Senior Member

    You should only ever have intercourse for love. I would wait until you find that if I were you.

    "If it takes forever I'll walk forever.": Jules, Pulp Fiction. ☺
  19. river

    birch take it easy .

    Life gives us all experiences of which we need to share .

    The 1960's ,early 70's , were all about , sharing experiences , talk about experiences , understanding each others experiences , not placing judgements upon these experiences .

    These days we have come to judge people , make judgements , your right : your wrong .
  20. billvon Valued Senior Member

    So black women are easy? Because they are so inherently different than white women?

    Might want to not go with that angle.
  21. Errorist Banned Banned

    It's kinda weird how people are still posting on a thread from 2009...
  22. billvon Valued Senior Member

    Some posts go dormant for a while and restart because someone has something new to say. Doesn't seem that odd.
  23. TheFrogger Banned Valued Senior Member

    No threads for Valentine's day???

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