21 y/o virgin here

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by stateofmind, Mar 1, 2009.

  1. tablariddim forexU2 Valued Senior Member

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    If there are no whores where you live (which I find very hard to believe), then it's a good excuse to go on holiday to somewhere like Pattaya in Thailand...there, not only can you fuck your brains out 24 hours a day for a few dollars but you can also choose whether you prefer women, boys or girlboys. Remember to use condoms.
     
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  3. EndLightEnd This too shall pass. Registered Senior Member

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    Way to be helpful.

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    Trying to turn somebody away from what is good advice can be described as nothing less than malicious.
     
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  5. draqon Banned Banned

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    Many men choose safe sex and moral path, that is why they/we stand away from darkness.
     
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  7. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    It's certainly an option for me. I've actually thought about going to Thailand for a while to attend a yoga school I heard about. Maybe I'll go when I have the money.

    Although I think it would be easier for me to have sex with a whore than someone I know (for reasons of judgement) I'm still not sure that's the core of my issue - as electrafixtion has suggested.

    Right now I'm doing some research on the internet and tapping into my mind for the answers I'm looking for. Besides past experiences effecting me, it could be that I currently have a low libido. I've been working on that a bit lately - don't ask me to go into details (if you're genuinely interested check out tantric yoga.) I'm also refraining from masturbating for the next two weeks as absane suggested to see if that might work.

    So far just my quest for finding an answer to this has, to my surprise, relieved some of my stress. I've been pretty successful in whatever I've focused my energy on in my life so I have some confidence I'll get to the root of this.

    Thanks again to everyone who's helped me in this thread!
     
  8. jessiej920 Shake them dice and roll 'em Valued Senior Member

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    Don't forget the book I mentioned! Seriously, I had a lot of fun with it and you might too. I also think that hooking up with a prostitute is probably not the answer to your problem, but that is just my personal opinion. You want to feel confident in your sexuality by being able assert yourself and achieve gratification with someone who wants to please you as well as wants to be pleased by you. With a prostitute, I don't think you will find that.
     
  9. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    You're a kind and sincere person Jessie! I read some reviews and "My Gender Workbook" is now in my cart on Amazon

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  10. jessiej920 Shake them dice and roll 'em Valued Senior Member

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    Thank you, that is truly a wonderful compliment. And good for you. I actually was required to read the book for my Sociology of Sexuality: Transgendering Sexuality class (Best class I ever took in college, by the way), but I found the book to be so much fun and very helpful and it didn't seem like a requirement at all. It was also interesting to hear what other class-mates wrote in their workbooks when we had 'share' time. I loved the whole experience. I love talking about sex. I love exploring sexuality in itself. I think that you seem like a very genuine person who just needs to become more comfortable with your own sexual desires. Don't worry. You'll get there! And don't worry about your age. It doesn't matter, honestly. When it's right it will be right. You can PM me anytime you want if you want to chat more about any issues you have. I have tons of advice and tons of great books that might help you out. Just let me know!

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  11. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    Thanks!

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  12. phlogistician Banned Banned

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    Being psychoanalysed by some unqualified stranger who displays a lack of reasoning skills on an anonymous internet forum counts as 'good advice' in your book does it?
     
  13. EndLightEnd This too shall pass. Registered Senior Member

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    What do you think the OP posted here for? :shrug:

    In fact I would have to say your advice is the worst of all given in this topic.

    And yes it WAS good advice because the OP obviously remembered something which may be the root of all of this.
     
  14. phlogistician Banned Banned

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    I honestly don't know. This is a science forum, not a forum for virgins who are unsure of their sexuality.

    The only 'advice' I gave was a humorous quote from 'The 40 Year Old Virgin', and not to be taken seriously. But the fact you rate it as being serious, and underneath such suggestions as 'find a slut and get busy' really shows how poor your opinion is.

    The guy is bi, because he was born that way. He's a virgin, 'cos he's not confident in his sexuality. None of these things hinge on a single childhood memory. The advice was BS, and the OP looking for a cause, something he can understand. Well, he's bi, because that's what he is, and the sooner he can accept that, and start feeling comfortable with himself, the sooner the rest will all fall into place. No amount of BS psychoanalysis from an unqualified source is going to solve this. He must first accept who he is, on his own terms.
     
  15. EndLightEnd This too shall pass. Registered Senior Member

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    Im not trying to sidetrack this thread so this is the last Ill say on this subject...

    Its certainly not a forum for ALOT of the stuff we find posted within this site. Ive seen stranger topics, so whats your point?

    Oh? I dont remember hearing the word electrafixtion during that line in the movie. Are you sure you quoted it correctly instead of inserting a personal attack?

    So you believe homosexuality/bi curious is a result of nature, not nurture?
    As for the second statement I agree.

    How could you possibly know this? Furthermore how can you possibly state this as fact?

    It seems you are suggesting that past memories (possibly traumatic) have no effect on current behaviors. Im sure you have heard of post tramautic stress syndrome which is just one of the many ways past memories can control and direct our lives. As I remember, the question was about the OP past and any important memories that may lie there, and is it turns out there was.

    Ok so it definitely is apparent now that you believe homosexuality is a result of nature, not nurture. You have issue because the OP is running all around trying to find why he is this way while you already KNOW the cause; he was born that way and theres nothing he can do about it.

    Agreed. But despite what you may think, outside inquiries are an integral part of discovering who we are and where we fit in the human race. Why do you think he is sharing all of this private information? Negativity is NEVER a constructive part of this process.

    stateofmind:
    Typing that last part a thought crossed my mind... It would appear that you are allowing outside factors control the perception that you hold of yourself. All in all, this is not healthy. If you are constantly trying to achieve what others expect you to be you will never know contentment because different people have different expectations, and you can never fill them all.

    As phlog was hinting towards, inner peace must come first. Nobody can help you with that but you. I suggest meditation.
     
  16. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    I agree with that. To be honest I wouldn't have made this thread if there was even a couple other people posting about this sort of thing that I could relate to (I've spent a fair amount of time looking.) All the people in my position seem to either be in denial or have deep rooted psychological issues.

    I wouldn't say I'm allowing outside factors to control my perception of myself. Posting this was sort of an exercise in honesty for myself and I've only been taking into consideration people's insights rather than regarding them as law.

    It's true that I have caved in to other's expectations before but slowly and surely I've been taking steps on a path of honesty with myself. I'm much happier and more stable than I was a few years ago.

    I'm currently learning some meditation techniques and breathing exercises. You're right that I'm the only person that can get to bottom of this.

    Thanks EndLightEnd.
     
  17. phlogistician Banned Banned

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    Yes. Many and various medical studies have demonstrated this to be largely the case. While environmental factors play a part in individuals accepting they have homosexual leanings, the leanings have to be there in the first place.


    The information is cunningly hidden away from woowoos. It's published in peer reviewed journals, where they never look.


    I never said that. Why do you feel the need to abstract this into something else? I merely said that one childhood event did not cause him to be bisexual.

    'what can be done about it'? What the fuck, are you going to try and 'cure' him or something? Nothing needs to be done about it. Oh, and I have no problem with the OP either, so it's a blatant lie saying I have an issue there. I do have an issue with netn00bs pretending they are psychiatrists, however.
     
  18. EndLightEnd This too shall pass. Registered Senior Member

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    http://allpsych.com/journal/homosexuality.html

    Conclusion:
    owned.

    Your mistake phlog, is assuming because I hold different views than you, that I am an uneducated fool. Though I must say, it is a common one.
     
  19. electrafixtion Registered Senior Member

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    949

    Phlog
    You remind me of a know it all rich kid always doing your best to get attention. Why don't you go pretend to be the biggest duck in the puddle somewhere where people actually care. If you can point out one ill truth or damaging piece of information that I offered, please do so. If not, pretend to have a life elsewhere because you are doing yourself and everyone else here no good.
     
  20. darksidZz Valued Senior Member

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    4,920
    Prepare for 30 like me :|
     
  21. darksidZz Valued Senior Member

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    lol omg yea I luv this honest thinking on the forum, it's so great

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  22. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    Actually I don't really have any conflict about being gay or bisexual although I think I'm more likely bisexual. I'm not trying to cure my sexual preference. I think my issues are rooted in a disability to be vulnerable to other people and consequently myself. I have guards up for some reason - that's where I think my past comes into all of this.

    God I hope I figure it out before then. Good luck on your journey my friend!
     
  23. phlogistician Banned Banned

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    10,342
    From the same source;

    "Let us first look at the biological debate. Biological theorists have found substantial instances of anatomical, genetic, and endocrine evidence to support their argument. "

    The important word being 'substantial'.
     

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