21 y/o virgin here

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by stateofmind, Mar 1, 2009.

  1. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    I'm 21 and a virgin. Sex has caused me a lot of strife and anxiety in my life. I feel really insecure when people talk about it around me. Nobody around me really knows I'm a virgin and I think it's because I put up guards to hide my insecurity. On top of it all I'm confused about my sexuality. I would accept myself if I was gay but it feels like it's 50/50 at this point.

    I thought about proclaiming to my friends, family and strangers, if asked, that I am virgin. I figure this would take away a lot of the pressure and anxiety I have with it as well as have people who are into that kind of thing (having sex with a virgin) would be more likely to hit on me. Not to mention my friends would try to get me laid ASAP and make fun of me til I do.

    I'm kind of scared to tell people because I feel vulnerable when I do - I feel vulnerable now making a thread on an anonymous forum.

    I know that this will only get harder the older I get so I really just want to get it over with. I'm open to any suggestions.
     
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  3. Challenger78 Valued Senior Member

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    Friends with benefits. Also known as a pity fuck. That should be your last resort when everything else has been tried and failed.
     
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  5. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    if your that worried about it go to a prostitute, that will fix your problem
     
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  7. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    You're right - don't want the pity.

    Yah I would do that but I live in the boondox and I don't think there are any prostitutes around - at least any good looking ones :fright:

    How do you find a prostitute anyways?
     
  8. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    well in australia you just open the yellow pages and look up "sex worker" or brothal

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  9. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    You lucky guy!
     
  10. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    i have never used one, i just happen to know that they are compleatly legal and in a debate with shorty i was looking up a brothal in victoria to prove a point to her

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  11. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    I searched my problem on google and found other people in a similar situation. There were even some 30's that were still virgins. The same tired "I'm saving myself for the right person" or "for religious reasons" kept coming up. It seemed like they were just making excuses for themselves as to why it never happened. I think a lot of people rush to get married for this reason.

    I'm not saving myself for the right person. I've had opportunities to lose it but I was a coward at the time and made excuses for myself. There's just so much pressure for me when it comes to intimacy. It's like I'm about to get on stage for a huge performance that dictates the direction of the rest of my life.

    I don't know why I'm telling you all this, I know there's nothing any of you can do for me. This whole thing is just stressing me out.
     
  12. Challenger78 Valued Senior Member

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    Some Sciforumer could be in the same situation as you, perhaps even in the same area.

    Watch out for Draqon though.
     
  13. Challenger78 Valued Senior Member

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    Awesome. I know what I'm doing for my 18th then.

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  14. Naturelles Future Scientist Registered Senior Member

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    Does sexual intercourse really matter that much in your life?
     
  15. Enmos Staff Member

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    Apparently it doesn't. He just feels the pressure.
     
  16. orcot Valued Senior Member

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    ... I was a virgin at 21 now I've been with the same girl for 2 years. Thinking back on it, I think the reason why it took so long was because women yust did not interest me or so I reacted honnestly their were very few women in my friend circle and all of them where friends of friends.
    Their were even times that I would yust ignore women who were interested in me.

    That it without the excuses it's pretty damm lame. My advice make time to go out on a regular basis, try to make some fun and try to include others people who looks even remotly interesting.
    (If it's yust sex your afther go to a brothel)
     
  17. domesticated om Interplanetary homesteader Valued Senior Member

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    Maslow's hierarchy puts it on the "crucial" layer next to breathing, food, and water...... but I guess the validity is debatable.
     
  18. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    die young!

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    Last edited: Mar 1, 2009
  19. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

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    Find a slut, use protection, get busy. It's one of the easiest tasks in the world, and it'll be the best 30 seconds of your life.
     
  20. stateofmind seeker of lies Valued Senior Member

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    I think it's an important aspect of anyone's life. It could even be spiritual. I just don't feel like a man. I feel like I'm missing out. Some nights I'll be lying in my bed and I'll wish there was someone I could hold and be intimate with.

    I feel weird because it didn't happen naturally. I avoided a couple confrontations with it, I admit, due to fear. Now I regret not acting on them and getting the first time over with.

    I don't have any good friends that are girls. Honestly I don't really have any friends I can truly confide in about my most personal things. I have one gay friend that I can talk to about this stuff but we got in an argument and he blocked me.

    Why the hell is prostitution illegal... :wallbang:
     
  21. draqon Banned Banned

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    and why is that?

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  22. draqon Banned Banned

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    well you must be a virgin too than. Because why else would you be so apathic to sex? Oh wait

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    ...that means that you already had sex and dont have that feeling of not wanted and unknown anymore. Because we do, I the draqon and the OP.
     
  23. Randwolf Ignorance killed the cat Valued Senior Member

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    Geee, I wonder....

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