Let's see how sincere people can be. To wit, given the recent dustup 'twixt New Jersey and Maine—no, not really, just Chris Christie beign Chris Christie—I was struck by the hilarious thought of a Christie/LePage ticket. And then an even worse thought struck: Christie/Brownback. To the one, as long as Christie is considered a contender, he will be considered a contender. To the other, if he's really a contender, this country might be in trouble. The thought of a Christie/LePage ticket is so ridiculously awful that the simple fact of them being the ticket might be be a sign of an American apocalypse. If they won? Well, you know how we've had that love it or leave it argument going on for generations, and the side being told to leave is so rude that they won't do so unless they're chased out? Yeah. A Christie/LePage administration could be the sign that it's time to start looking for real estate on the northwest coast of Ireland. Still, though, I'm not sure a Christie/LePage ticket could even happen. Christie/Brownback? Possible, but not likely. There will likely be no combination of Christie and Paul that will work; one wonders who Rand Paul would tap. I also happened to notice a weird thing going on in the weird thing in Richmond, California, where Chevron is trying to finance a mayoral candidate as well as a city council slate, in order to avoid paying for all the damage they did in 2012. That weird thing within the other weirdness is that Chevron appears to be backing a rhetorically weak slate of minority candidates. Interesting, indeed. So it's probably true that we're not looking at a Paul/Keyes ticket. Condi Rice probably isn't coming out of retirement to be a veep candidate, and especially not for Paul. Right now it's hard to think of a good Republican ticket, but only because the GOP has slipped so far to the right. They're chasing out a lot of their brightest presidential talent. Could Jeb Bush haul Rice back out of the private sector? That is, as cynical as it sounds, she's about the only female or minority (in this case both) candidate that comes to mind, and since the GOP is preparing to run against Hillary Clinton—which, in turn, is not a wise move, as it is most likely that she will not run, but instead play kingmaker ... or queenmaker, perhaps, if Elizabeth Warren finds a wild hair—it is not beyond imagination to wonder how they will attempt to expand their appeal beyond white, Christian males. That is to say, having Newt Gingrich get up and say he's a feminist because he keeps giving different women a chance to be his wife probably won't do the trick with female voters. The worst ticket? I can't get past Christie/LePage, but I did say something about sincerity, so I really do need to come up with something more realistic. Like Paul/Brownback. And Rubio won't be a veepster; if the wunderblunder isn't at the top of the ticket—and he won't be, this cycle—the GOP would be best served to bank him for future cycles, when he is ready, needed, and credible. The hard part here is that the GOP has nobody right now. Jeb Bush might actually be thinking about getting into it, but the question remains whether he's conservative enough. Or whether he can beat Hillary Clinton. Or whether the country will tolerate a Clinton-Bush election. (Seriously, the parties would be ready to spill blood, and everyone else looking for cover.) Personally, I expect the candidate has yet to emerge. Perhaps Gov. Pence of Indiana, though he would have some baggage with female voters. The thing is that on the Democratic side, while the field might lack anything resembling a standout candidate because many are busy basking in the radiant glory that is Hillary Clinton, or some such, they don't have a clown car of uniquely awful candidates screeching donuts in rumor and speculation. Certes, the Dems have their Chris Christie ... somewhere. But he's not running. And they have a Rick Perry, somewhere, and he's not running. They don't really have a Rand Paul, though. And who knows? Republican success in a couple of states could actually free up talent for the Democratic 2016 field. O'Malley/Hagan? Then again, I don't think Kay Hagan is having such trouble with her re-election campaign that others see. It's close, but Tillis isn't locking it up, and in theory he should be. The Dems have Julian Castro hidden away right now at HUD; their talent pool is modest, but also deep. The GOP's pool is spectacular regardless of talent, and very much lacking on the depth chart. It's hard to get past the Christie jokes, I admit, but Christie/LePage isn't happening; Christie/Rubio isn't happening; Christie/Paul isn't happening. Christie/Brownback? It's possible, but unlikely. Then again, what if Udall survives in Colorado? Paul/Gardner? And that would be a dangerous administration. So flip a coin. A Christie nomination or a Paul nomination? Mitt's committed to staying out; his wife already said so, and, well, whatever problems the 2012 candidate had with mendacity, he certainly doesn't want to make his wife a liar. There is a legitimate question whether Jeb Bush could win the nomination, and thereafter the election. And, besides, there is an election coming; the field will shift after that, and so will our picks for worst possible ticket.
