Thoughtful productive member of the SciForums community,
or cookie-spewing bastard??? Can't you make it stop, dude?

:D Peace.

Goofyfish:
Thoughtful productive member of the SciForums community,
or cookie-spewing bastard???
More like dribbly baloney.

A cookie-spewing bastard (?), all bloated with jargon and cheeky one-liners. He does little more than travel, post up his postcards and when he actually tries all we get is textbook science.

He eats up bandwidth like a woodlouse and I'd like to punch him in the thorax.

Kidding.

I like my cookies covered with chocolate.



edit: How do I make cookies btw. I haven't had access to an oven the last few months so I haven't been capable of making cookies.

Some is doing the baking for you, then.
They're delivered from your site with every pic post.

:m: Peace.

gotta love the spurious monkey ...

Some is doing the baking for you, then.
They're delivered from your site with every pic post.

:m: Peace.



Are those cookies a problem?

Other than you surreptitiously trying to gather information for Homeland Security without my knowledge and consent? I don't know, since I block them out of hand and have never looked at their content. What evil deeds are you trying to bring about?

;) Peace

The security of Finland is not a joking matter!

I tried to be reasonable with this forum, but I feel it is my duty to report each and every one of you to the proper Finnish authorities.

Here, have a cookie.

http://biology.spuriousmonkey.com/bunnycookie.gif (http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/)

btw , gotta love that bunny too
it´s cute , it´s intelligent and it speaks german :p

gendanken:

kidding

no you weren't.

anyhoo, what an honour that anyone would start a thread in my honour.

I can still remember that nobody knew who I was even until I had 1000 posts or so.

But then my irresistable charm kicked in. And everybody loves me now.

Thank you all...

and I would like to thank my parents for making this possible, although my mother must have suffered tremendously during my birth (I have a huge head).

I thank my teachers for not minding not paying attention.

I would like to thank geocities for being shit and putting a nice big add banner on my first spuriousmonkey website.

And I would like to thank bunny for the cookies...


and gendanken...


and myself.

and you...

and Dr lou for making clear what a geek is (it is not a nerd).

and everybody who I forgot.

and Tiassa for wishing me a happy future...

but now it is enough...

I love spuriousmonkey. His site is awesome.

If you guys can give spuriousmonkey crap I wonder what you might (or have) said about me? To me spuriousmonkey is a good acquaintance and peer, (I believe) we are on good terms with each other. I see no problems with spuriousmonkey behavior on this forum: he is by far much better behaved then many other members here... even better behaved then say some of are moderators, eh goofyfish?

Outlandish:
no you weren't.
Gasp. Of course I was kidding, how dare you?

That monkey
but now it is enough...
...but watch you come back for seconds.....

Haha cookies are awsome.
http://www.beantree.com/about/images/cookies.jpg

If you guys can give spuriousmonkey crap I wonder what you might (or have) said about me? To me spuriousmonkey is a good acquaintance and peer, (I believe) we are on good terms with each other. I see no problems with spuriousmonkey behavior on this forum: he is by far much better behaved then many other members here... even better behaved then say some of are moderators, eh goofyfish?

It is an honour that WCF came back from his sabbatical leave from Sciforums to give me his support (and that after all the crap I gave him!).

Well, since I have a thread of my own now I might as well use it.


Does anyone know why lions look more fat than tigers?

Well Bunny (http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004/bunny019.html) knows!

you throw carp at me? when? your sooo dead! :mad:

The bunny seems to know alot.... :D

I managed to get in trouble again with the computer adminstrator.

I had send an email with my spuriousmonkey email address to a university mailing list.

I could lose my university email and user privileges.


great...


i'm such a fucking loser

Great job genius....... :rolleyes:

Oh, that stripe thing is known in fashion; overweight ladies should not wear horizontal stripes :)

Spurious is so far the most fun and knowledgeable Ph.d. I know.

Spurious is so far the most fun and knowledgeable Ph.d. I know.

(cough) hes a grade student, but I'm sure he will enjoy that comment.

But then my irresistable harm kicked in.
Are you sure that isnt a little prescient of you to say that, given your uni admin is now annoyed at you?

Are you sure that isnt a little prescient of you to say that, given your uni admin is now annoyed at you?

Yes...but that is the trademark of a loser.


and I get letters which are addressed to Dr. Tummers all the time, so I could almost be a PhD.

http://ci.uofl.edu/tom/cv/phd-diploma-small.gif

A few photoshoppings could fix that Google-found Ph. D. image right up into one for you, spuriousmonkey. ;)

I don't know. Degrees from American Universities are not worth a lot.

then edit those out. I'm sure you can find different images for the sides, and just correct a few words here and there ...

then again, if you were going to do that, you might as well just craft an entirely new one for yourself.

http://www.spuriousmonkey.com/pics/diploma.gif

I guess I still have my own thread for some reason.

Let's educate the people:

lab safety - using the proper equipment to protect your 'fertility region' while holding a mouse (http://www.spuriousmonkey.com/cartoons/cartoon8/index.html)

spuriousmonkey,

I took this from a mad magazine, it reminded me of you, enjoy.
http://www.sciforums.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=2772&stc=1

thanks for the pic...

it is true though...monkeys are always funny...

squirrels - good or bad? (http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004_april/bunny007.html)

I don't make a new post to every new page I make for any of my websites, but this one clearly concerns everybody. I therefore feel it is my duty to inform you on this fascist and racist behaviour.

I was not sure in which subforum to post it and therefore I decided to make another post in the thread which goofyfish created in my honour. Thanks again Goofy.

Humans are fascists! All of them (http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004_may/bunny007.html)

Great idea! You make them I'll buy them. BTW I just learned what it is like to have ABS on my auto. In short; 3 bunnies vs. BMW @ 60mph...bunnies win!!! Yeah bun-buns! :D

(warning - the following message could be considered to be advertisement or spam. I would call it art.)

I would just like to say that my bunny managed to fill another month with crap, which is now archived under the month May. Since the crap was produced in May.

She started well in June. She has some pictures of famous people and everything.

http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/index.html

I'm going to holland for a week. Hence my future absence.

c-ya and have fun.

I will be at a tooth meeting in york until thursday. I will see if somehting interesting is said and possibly report to sciforums about it. They have a whole session on tooth regeneration. That might be full of interesting propaganda for the mob.

and say hi to arnold (http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004_july/bunny010.html)

Man, that Arnold comic is funny! ROTF LMFAO!

yeah...i think it is a classic.

It has drama, friendship, love, war, sex, testicles, everything a cartoon needs

Ya can make a two-parter of it, it's so good.

I really like that idea. Ya should do it! :)

I was never aware that a cartoon needs testicles. I shall take that advice wisely.

My thesis.

It is a rush job, but it was the only way to leave finland as soon as possible. C'est la vie.


my thesis (3.9Mb) (http://biology.spuriousmonkey.com/articles/tummers-thesis.pdf)

3.9 Mb? Wow. Mine was something like 20 Mb in the end. Big figures, and many many of them.

Good luck spuriousmonkey. I hope it all comes well for you, I can sympathise with the volume of work and time that comes into this sort of thing.

It is based on 4 original articles. They can also be found in the same location. One is unpublished so I am not giving any links, but it is still there. Smart people will find it.

Did you get any decent publications? The best thing I got is a 'development' paper. That is not bad in our field (impact factor 8). I submitted to Nature once but I got it back the next day.

Inamorata's thesis must be 5 times better than yours spurious, besides she is hotter than you (for me at least what with me being a guy and all) no offense.

What are you gonna do when you get back to civilization? Will you still remember how to interact with dutch people or are you just going to nod and grunt for awhile?

I never plan so far ahead.

A miracle just happened. I updated the bunny site. After more than a month of nothing. Mind you. The quality of the latest entry is rather low. But I always say. Better something than nothing, unless we are talking about debt. (actually, this was the first time I said it)

Featuring tom cruise (http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004_september/bunny001.html)

Hey, I think your bunny is lying, she ate him whole. Only his hand is still attached to the guy on the left. :D

http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004_september/images/cruise8_spuriousmonkey.jpg

A miracle just happened. I updated the bunny site. After more than a month of nothing. Mind you. The quality of the latest entry is rather low. But I always say. Better something than nothing, unless we are talking about debt. (actually, this was the first time I said it)

Featuring tom cruise (http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004_september/bunny001.html)


How the hell does the bunny do it? He just shrugs off the biggest names in hollywood and always ends up with the girls and a fresh squeezed glass of carrot juice!

Hey, I think your bunny is lying, she ate him whole. Only his hand is still attached to the guy on the left. :D

http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004_september/images/cruise8_spuriousmonkey.jpg

What do you mean????

Ah you´re sneaky, you changed the picture that could be found at the adress from where I took it. :D

Ok, you win.

I made a new one especially for you because I know you like the pope.

http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004_september/bunny002.html

Ah, that bunny is so refreshingly straightforward. :D

Total Yesterday pages 318 visits 96
Total (since 30-04-2003) pages 63 689 visits 15 664
Average per day pages 174 visits 43
Top score per day pages 1 703 (12-05-2004)
visits 158 (20-06-2003)
Top monthly record visits 10 106 (May 2004)
pages2 006 (May 2004)


olala...15.000 visitors have gone to spuriousmonkey.com and looked at 63.000 pages. Champagne for everyone.

Wow, I would not have thought that you get so many visitors. Applause! http://www.cheesebuerger.de/smilies/lustig/52.gif

Wow, I like that one of the pope!

Make more! Please!

. . . Hey, the testicles mysteriously disappeared. I thought every cartoon needed that.

I am not sure the pope has testicles so I was faced with a moral dilemma of depicting a lie just for laughs, or being of higher moral standard and make it less funny.

It is based on 4 original articles. They can also be found in the same location. One is unpublished so I am not giving any links, but it is still there. Smart people will find it.

Did you get any decent publications? The best thing I got is a 'development' paper. That is not bad in our field (impact factor 8). I submitted to Nature once but I got it back the next day.

Ugh, not the best journals. Journal of Bone and Mineral Research (impact factor 6.225, but funnily enough has the highest imapct factor of the bone-related journals, and Biochem Biophys Reserch Communications (impact factor 2.836). My supervisor never aimed for Nature or Science. He only ever aimed for middle-tier journals. He was a quantity rather than quality guy, although I guess the competition for grants money may have a played a part in that. Ill reserve my opinions on that however :) I would personally prefer a Nature paper to 5 JBMR papers. But thats my opinion......

Im putting together another couple of papers at the moment though, from my thesis. One Im submitting to Journal of Immunology (IF 6.702) and the other will probably go to Bone (IF 3.572).

See, here is the problem. Journal of Immunology is actually a pretty good journal, and I dont think its impact factor reflects this. Journal Biol Chem is another one, its impact rating is only 6.482, but i think it has a better reputation than that would suggest. It comes with the inherent problems of calculating IFs.

I have seen a thesis from Finland previously. It was soooo different to the format we use here at Melbourne Uni, it was basically a collection of papers. Our thesis formats are markedly different, hence the size. I actually have a pic of my thesis, after I had it thermally bound prior to submission:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v126/missdani_77/danithesis3.jpg

See. Ridiculous. 67,000 words (not including figure legends, refs etc etc). 4 results chapters, over 20 figures in each. 7 chapters in all + bibliography. It was enormous. I actually had to get it redone into 2 volumes because the School of Grad Studies was afraid the binding wouldnt hold. That thesis was a nightmare :)

See. Ridiculous. 67,000 words (not including figure legends, refs etc etc). 4 results chapters, over 20 figures in each. 7 chapters in all + bibliography. It was enormous. I actually had to get it redone into 2 volumes because the School of Grad Studies was afraid the binding wouldnt hold. That thesis was a nightmare :)

wow...

I hope you didn't have to get so many copies printed as I did...200! And that is only because it is also published as an ethesis (electronic), otherwise I would have needed more copies even.

200!!! wow! No, only 3! 1 copy for the School of Grad Studies, and 1 copy for each of the examiners. Why 200 copies?


When the thesis has been passed, then I get them properly bound (ie leather), and then I think I make at least 3 copies, one for the university library, one for the Department library, and i THINK one for my supervisor (and obviously copies for myself).

But 200!

200!!! wow! No, only 3! 1 copy for the School of Grad Studies, and 1 copy for each of the examiners. Why 200 copies?


The library needs a certain amount of copies. Copies have to go to the rector and other important people of the university. Several copies have to be on display in the main building a certain time before the thesis defense. Our institute needs 11 copies to hand around. The graduate school needs copies. It is a tradition that you give copies to people you work with (that's about 50). My boss gives them to visitors. etc etc.
And you have to have copies present for the people that go to your defense. Of course, you never know how many people will show up. Some times a lot, some times not.

We used to print 150, but apparently that was not enough. Now we are doing 200.

costs: 1200 frikking euros.

Thats insane! I have never heard of that, like I said we only make 3 copies in the first instance and then probably about 5 or 6 in the second.

For 200 copies, at $50 a bound copy: that would be AUS $10,000. hahahahhaa.

1200 euros, does the department not assist you with those costs at all? It seems absurd to expect a student to pay that sort of price for thesis binding.

Good luck with it anyhow :)

I would not have printed 200 copies if I had to pay for it myself.
200 Euro is paid by the institute
840 Euro by the university
the rest by my boss.

The only problem is that I have to pay the 840 first myself. I will get it back later.

Wow, all this talk of theses! It sounds complicated. Is it?

Dunno...but imagine how complicated the stuff is inside these things.

Not suitable for sciforums. Well, not in the current atmosphere, where the most important is how cool you are and how well you can insult people.

On a more postive note.

Punkers and digital cameras don't mix (http://bunny.spuriousmonkey.com/files2004_september/bunny003.html)

Oh, that was cool.

What does "na ja" mean?

doesn't mean anything.

it is just one of those european expression I do use. You could say it in Dutch...maybe also in German.

It signifies puzzlement in combination with repulsion mixed with wonder, shaken with contempt.

I JUST GOT 200 COPIES OF MY THESIS!


FUCKING WEIRD

On paper? Did someone failed to notice the digital revolution that has been around for the last two decades?

On paper? Did someone failed to notice the digital revolution that has been around for the last two decades?

I also have an electronic version published. If I hadn't I would have to print even more paper copies because the university library requires 100 copies alone already. If you publish it as an e-thesis the library only needs 6.

Why does the library need 100?! The local library never has more than 10 copies!

The local library never has more than 10 copies
Of spuriousmonkey's thesis?

No. Of other books.

Because the university library is rather a big monster of a library with many separate buildings. Also I presume they will send copies to other univserity libraries in Finland.

It is Dr. spuriousmonkey now.

Congratulations Doctor. :D

still feel like the same old drunk though

Haha. The same old spuriousmonkey is still here! Halleluja!

Am travelling around a bit. It is more difficult to post since I don't have a research job anymore and am not able anymore to abuse the university network connection.

Hence I am around and I am not.

So, still planning on quitting science? Going to spend some time tramping around and play it by ear?

Why don't you combine stem cell research and art. Start a whole new industry of artwork. You'll be so avante garde. The christians and the liberals alike would damn you for arrogant use of stem cells in such a 'frivolous' manner.

Think of the possilities.

Ye'r here . . . but . . . ye'r . . . not here?

:eek:

So, still planning on quitting science? Going to spend some time tramping around and play it by ear?

[insert sarcasm]It is a shame that the most brilliant mind in this millenium is leaving science, but that is how it is.[end sarcasm] Imagine, the other day we (another brilliant friend and I) devised a simple plan on how to save the giant panda.

Don't quit before ya have the chance to getting to action with that plan, dude! Do it for the pandas!

. . . Or do ya only care about the monkeys?

I hate giant pandas. They suck.

*Gasps and throws rotten tomato*

What is nice about giant pandas then except a sixt thumb?

What is nice about giant pandas, They suck.


123

What is nice about giant pandas then except a sixt thumb?

Dunno, do they taste good?

Only Antarctic pandas have the succulent taste second only to chicken.

98 posts to go!

i bet youll be banned before you get there.

I think anyone who likes pandas should be banned on this forum.

i bet youll be banned before you get there.

Sure dude . . . sure.

I think anyone who likes pandas should be banned on this forum.

Ya damn panda-hater! *Throws rotten tomato*

95 posts to go!

havent you run out of those yet?

anyway...

after the 28th of october you will probably hardly see me post anymore. I am going to Rio de Janeiro that day and will stay in south america for 2.5 months. Obviously posting on sciforums won't be my first priority when I am there.

and fuck the pandas.

Mmh, Rio de Janeiro, cool. Enjoy yourself. ;)

lucky sob, wish i was going there.

and fuck the pandas.

Fuck the pandas??!!! Fuck you!!!!! *Throws rotten tomato*

!!!!! 2 POSTS TO GO !!!!!

hey, what's your site??

after extensive reasearch into the subject i finally manage to crack the problem, I found found spurious website to be at this location http://www.spuriousmonkey.com, this ground breaking news should be add to wikipedia.org for the sake of the future.

Hola,

i was in Rio de janiero for about a week, but after being robbed at gunpoint (during the day) i decided it is time to move on. I am now in Floreanopolis some 1000 km south of Rio. It is much more tranquilo here. Apparently also some surf championships going on, but I haven´t seen any of that yet. Lots of cheap caipirinhas here though.

that is my meager report.

chau...

Ya were seriously robbed at gunpoint?! Damn!

. . . Well, that's what ya get for fucking the pandas . . . *throws rotten tomato*

I wonder if it was Truthseeker that robbed you. He's Brazilian, isn't he?

Hey. What's that Brazilian city that was totally designed from the ground up to be like some space age city or something. Cost mass money and turned out to be a waste of time and money.

That brazillian city is Brasilia, a architet/designes wet dream and also there capital

*most regurgitated thread evaaarrrrrr*

yeah, space age meant that everyone lived in a box (literally) and they never had to leave the big box since it was like a giant shopping centre. noone went since it was to ahead of its time lol. if they built one now in england itd fill up instnatly since people are too lazy to move anywhere and since house prices are so high boxes will become the cheap alternative.

Hey . . . Isn't this thread about spuriousmonkey, and not boxes?

no its about boxes. its called thread jacking..... or is it?

hey SM, you going to lima? :P

Hey LU! Ye'r back!

No one's gonna jack this thread!

. . . Hmm . . . That didn't sound right . . . It sounded . . . kinky.

then you are quite weird.
yes i am back.
g/o/od im great.

and its already happened
your lying on the floor
bleeding
(internally)
painfully
and im
riding outta town
in your brown
'68 cadillac

Only Antarctic pandas have the succulent taste second only to chicken.

98 posts to go!

you do realise that there arent pandas in the antartic, it is simply, fish, whales, penguins, seals(and sea lions)

like most of you northerners, you assume that the south pole is the same as yours

No, I am not going to Lima. Tomorrow i will actually reach the furtherst point of my journey, after which I will slowly return to Rio de janiero, so I can get robbed at gunpoint again.

lucky bastard

lucky bastard

Yes, indeed...am waiting for the night bus to Puerto iguazu. Just had dinner...ordered a steak on the grill, but goddamn I didn't have a decent steak since Uruguay. Or should I say I had such a good steak there that since then it has been all shit. You would think Argentina has an reputation to uphold in the field of steaks. But so far, it has been not really anything to write home about. Uruguay rules for steak.

Anyway, i don't really know if I am lucky. I just used my last money to come here. How is that being lucky?

how can you be waiting for a bus and somehow by typing? or do you one of those thingy thingys?

I suppose he waited in a nerby internet cafe... just a possibility...

I suppose he waited in a nerby internet cafe... just a possibility...

How do you know so much about my life...are you spying on me?

How do you know so much about my life...are you spying on me?

Ofcause, we feel betrayed with you leaving us for those hot sunsets under a new sun, instead of staying here in Europe with our nice and cold weather(btw there is not a cloud in the sky to day).

I´ll bet electricfish checked my IP already if I am really in Argentina.

If you post pics of all those pretty places, we'll believe you. Oh we can't wait to see the new pics of this hot monkey!

My camera was stolen in Rio de Janeiro at gunpoint.

How do you know so much about my life...are you spying on me?

Oh, don't you know? I am the shadow government and my spy satellites are tracking every single member of this board. :cool:

that explains tnhe dingy old weather balloon hovering above my house

Oh, don't you know? I am the shadow government and my spy satellites are tracking every single member of this board. :cool:

I'm part of the shadow shadow government that watches closely every move of every member of the shadow government. I'm on a secret mission in South America. Well, not so secret anymore I guess...but still semi secret, because only 3 people read the replies in this thread.

Haha...by flying over houston to Rio de Janeiro I have earned enough airmiles to get a free flight within europe. Didn´t realize you could earn a free flight that fast. I never used to bother airmiles in the past, when I was flying to the states. But I guess it is worth it. Doesn´t matter if you are flying with a different airline than you are a member off. They could be a partner, or you just become a member of them.

Haha...by flying over houston to Rio de Janeiro I have earned enough airmiles to get a free flight within europe.
Well, wooohooo!

I think he's kick ass

But you also think Korn kicks ass, so I think we can all see the entirely too subjective value of opinion.

Bloody hell, I passed Xev in post count.

I am a sad git.

Oh, you're going up to the 10.000 posts mark Spurious... Can't be healthy. ;)

It's first time to worry when you got 50% of the posts on the "Top 10 posters list"... btw, I just got a new blender, lets talk about blenders and what you can make with'em. Maybe I should make a little threat somewhere, but why do that when i can jack this one... anyway, so far i only try making "primitive" milkshakes.

vanila ice, 1 of the following fruit types for flaver:banana, orange, pineapple and frosen strawberries(not good to much water), chokolade, vanilla sugar, sometimes a little milk

any ideas of what else i can try blend?

Not my brain...it's already been through the blender a few times.

hmm brain, i dont think thats easyly accessable around here, ofcause i could ask around the butchers.

pancake dough was suggested, but that would mean i have to bake them as well which would spoil my fun, did you know pancake dough is called batter or so says the dictionary(i was unsure how to spell dough) maybe i should bleend the dictionary

Dough and batter are different. Dough must be kneaded to mix it. It's rather solid. Pizza dough and bread dough are exemplary doughs.

Batter, on the otehr hand, is far more liquidy and runs down hill (or under the stove) very quickly. Brownies and pancakes, precookes, are in batter form.

You can mix a batter with a spoon, and knead a dough with your hands.

Bloody hell, I passed Xev in post count.

I am a sad git.

Monkey,
I say you are selling yourself short.

my head hurts.

cookies sound good, but all i have is a granola bar.

First you miss the opportunity to congratulate me passing the 10.000 post whore mark.

Then you miss the opportunity to congratulate me on my birthday (in the same week for fucks sake).

Then you miss the opportunity to congratulate me on my first born son (had already an acquired son). (i had expected that the pseudoscience telepathic people would have known or at least predicted this).

I feel a heavy responsibility on my shoulders. It is my duty now to fuck up two children. I heard it was easy with step-children, but now there is a biological son. Don't fear though. I take my responsibility of fucking up my children seriously.

You know the irony of all this? I have an American son now. The poor little fucker is entitled to an american passport. Now I will be forced to like at least one american. That kaniving Bush knows how to infiltrate the enemy's camp. Put a baby soldier in it and rot out the core. Maybe he should try the same tactic with Osama bin Laden instead of bombing a random country.

i congratulated you. i even noticed when you were 3 or 4 days away from the mark
remember me asking you what you had in mind for the occasion?

i didn't even know that you had children
or that one was adopted, but now i do

A cigar for you Leopold.

aw gee spurious, i always wanted a hand wrapped havana. thanks !

Have a glass of Dom perignon to go with that!

you are in a festive mood spurious
let me guess, you won the lottery

commies always share.

;)

i could use some of that download speed you got
it would be nice to have a pool to swim in
can i borrow your car and 10,000 dollars?

i have a wish list a light year long

The little tiger watches the outcast grumble, hah, does he thing we dont know or dont follow him around, we all know whats going on.
The outcast might claim to be an outcast but strangly he almost always seems to been at, or atleast near the center of attension at all times.
The little tiger begins to ponder, wonder larger thougts then the greatest philosophers ever philosophized, how, can a outcast who's at the center of attension be an outcast.... oooooh cookies...

(btw congratulation on your familie expansions, and good luck with your recolonization of the new world, beware the natives i hear they are kannibals and sacrifice baby to demonic idols)