Exposition that carys on for a little too long My little sister had a good friend in highschool who happened to be a Mormon, and who's name I'm about to butcher - either Kamus or Camas, pronounced like the first syllable of Camera and the word "us", a mormon name I guess. After highschool she moved up to Utah to attend Brigan Young University, a Mormon school with a strict Mormon code of conduct, and Mormon related services and curriculum. Being largely irreligious my sister would often joke about how strictly her friend adhered to her faith - not mean spiritedly, a lot of it just seemed nonsensical and over-bearing to her, the fact that she'd never drink caffeine, for instance always confused my sister, who herself is a vegetarian, to no end. Though she couldn't help but laugh and poke fun at the largely absurd Mormon film "Singles Ward" which apparently depicts the fall and redemption of a Mormon youth who becomes disillusioned with the church, goes on a wild bender, drinking caffeinated soft-drinks and staying up past midnight until he finally settles down and comes back to the church (hooray), having found that everyone outside of the Church is a moral degenerate who wants to kiss on the first date. The relationship between my sister and Camas were a little strained for a while after that, because camas didn't think it was funny, but they made up eventually and were as good friends as they ever were before. Anyhow, all of this is basically to say that Camas is a good Mormon girl, and apparently up in Utah at BYU things haven't changed. She's been engaging in some sort of Mormon dating which serves as a substitute for actual dating, where apparently young people are paired up on big group-dates (or maybe ice-cream social type events) several times over the course of a few weeks, or a month or so (I'm not entirely sure of the workings) always with a new partner whom they remain in public with at all times, along with other Mormon kids, and get to know each other (and I assume they also smile and laugh uneasily at each other's un-funny jokes made to break the tension), good wholesome fun all around for young people, all that's missing are the poodle skirts and the juke box (not Fonzie, though, he wouldn't fit in at BYU). Getting around to the point of this thread Anyhow, after apparently a steady month of going on these group dates, and keeping in contact with one boy in particular, Camas has decided she's getting married. That's right, after one month, her little love bunny (I'm sorry if pet-names are offensive to Mormons - I'm not that well versed in the particulars, I meant no harm) popped the question and she said yes. My problems with this arrangement are many and varied, but mostly I just can't understand why two people would decide to marry after knowing each other for such a short time. To the best of my knowledge the two have never really had any eer intimate moments together and would question if they'd so much as kissed - any conduct with the opposite sex is grounds to be expelled from BYU, and knowing what a goodie two-shoes Camas is I can't imagine she's gone against that. Talking with another (ex)Mormon friend of mine who still lives in Utah (and still seems to have trouble getting away from the Mormon values mindset) assures me that marriages at such a young age (only 19) are not at all uncommon in Mormon communities, though was unable to help me understand WHY people would do such a thing, as he himself doesn't think it's that weird. What really worries me is that Camas still has a lot of schooling left to do - and as I understand Mormons pressure married couples to start pushing out babies ASAP - I really hope that this whole marriage thing interferes with her education. Okay now the point, for real this time I've heard a lot of things about Mormon Marriages - if any Mormons or Mormon aficionados here on the board could help me out, maybe give me a fact list, or you know, just point out the various ways which a Mormon marriage works vs. what sort of institution a sane and rational human being who values their life and freedom would get into it would be much appreciated! Especially helpful would be those things which relate too the vast amounts of marriage counseling I've heard about prior too and after marriage, how common it is for Mormons to marry someone they've only known for a few months, and the Church's policy (as well as insight into actual peer pressure) when it comes to spitting out babies as soon as one is married. Also - is it legal to bring my own booze to Salt Lake City, as I may wind up having to attend the wedding (which happens this summer!) and I don't wanna' get stuck drinking whatever watered down swill they'll likely be serving in town (agh the reception itself will probably be dry now that I think of it. . .)
