During a visit to a friend's house, I encountered a book called Star Trek, the Nitpicker's Guide, or something like that. I found the little bit I read interesting. He picked at the technology, the story line, plots, everything, finding inconsistancies. Eventually he put them in a book. I thought we might find it fun to do the same for all sci-fi and fantasy discussed on this forum. Who wants to start?

Oh, I will. Oh yes, I will.

StarGate SG-1:

Every alien speaks perfect English. No problem. Although I can only wonder why they don't speak Egyptian. Seeing as how everything in the show is based on Egyptian mythology. They don't even have accents. At least on Farscape they have a reasonable explanation and have accents.

StarTrek TNG:

In the episode "Binary" Picard and Riker set the self destruct. They use their hands, voices, and a special code to arm it. But in order to cancel the self destruct all they have to do is talk and agree. "This is First Officer Riker, I agree." It took a matter of three seconds to DE-arm it. But it took practically five minutes to arm it in the first place.

Farscape:

Yes, it's my favorite show. I love it. But in the first episode I had some major problems with it. John's module was designed to fling him out into space. His theory was supposed to of paved the way for deep space exploration. So he hops into his module and try's it. Er, well, at least he attempts it; only to get sucked into a wormhole. Well, if his module was supposed to fling around Earth and zip off somewhere, then how the hell was he supposed to get back? If John had been successful in completing Farscape 1's original mission, how the heck would he have gotten back to Earth? Moya slingshotted out of the PK Command Carrier's scanning range; would the Space Shuttle have been able to retrieve John's module at such a distance? Hello!?

X2: X-men United:

The X-Men, after destroying a military base, creating a dangerous thunderstorm, sneaking into the white house via superpowers, erasing all of the presidential staffs memories, and blowing up two very expensive jet planes; they want to be trusted by the President and convince him that mutants aren't evil.

Speaking of the air plane; why would the President say "Don't use lethal force" and then try to shoot down the fancy X-Plane?

Hey CC, no B5 complaints? Is it because there was nothing wrong with the series, or is it because JMS himself is so NITPICKING over his own work, he tried not to make any mistakes?

Regarding English-speaking aliens, each alien race in B5 has their own distinct accent -- something you would expect if you had to take English as a Second Language courses. Just ask your neighborhood immigrant.

In B5, the pilot episode did nothing to introduce anything to the arc of the story that wouldn't be thwarted anyways. One of the key elements brought up throughout the entire run of B5 is "nothing is ever what it seems". This alone is ingenius when it comes to scripts and screenwriting/production.

Unlike X-Men, the only "mutants" in B5's universe are those that exist in human as well as alien races, and remain consistent throughout the series' history -- Telepaths.

These are only a few reasons why I feel Babylon 5 was the best science fiction TV series ever written.

Sarc,

Welcome to sciforums! I agree that B5 was probably the TV show with the least mistakes. Seeing as how all the Mimbari have accents. And the Vorlons have to have translators, and so do some of the other aliens. I also like the fact that Centauri's have six of em'.

LOL. Yes ... I agree.
Ahhh, CounselerCoffee, my GOOD friend ...
Thank you for your most hospitable greeting.

How about in Season 2, shortly after Delenn's change, she asks Ivanova why she's suddenly geting these "cramps".

Or Garibaldi's "SECOND favorite thing in the universe"

Or Marcus lying to Ivanova about what he spoke to her in Minbari, and her finding out later in the Season only to thank him.

I'll admit, I'm a sucker for a series with some honest, down-to-earth comic relief ... even if it IS in space.

Ah yes, good comedy is always good.

Or what about the time Delenn asked Ivanova how she washed her hair? She was the first Membari with hair. So it's obvious that she didn't know how to wash it.

Kosh always provided the weirdist lines. "It is not to late for the peebles to vote. The avalanche has already started."

The thing about farscape though, is that it was just as funny, if not more. The aliens always looked at John funny when he made Earth pop culture references:

"It's like Disney on acid and ten years of great sex all at the same moment!"
-John

"Well, it's a Jerry Springer kind of family. But, for what it's worth, Zhaan- you are family."
-John

"You want to have a mid-life crisis? Fine. That's, just . . . Ditch the firm, head off to Maui, shack up with the supermodel, but you do not get to keep the Porsche!"

"One mippippippi . . . two mippippippi . . . three mippippippi . . ."
-D'Argo trying to count using a states name. Can you guess which one?

John: "Who's your Daddy, huh? Who's your Daddy? D'Argo-tell him who his Daddy is."
D'Argo: "I'm your Daddy."

"I'm bleeding and I have no wounds. Now either I'm St. John of the Uncharted Territories or there is something seriously wrong with me."
-John

Okay, I went a little overboard with the Farscape quotes. Sorry, it's my favorite show. It also makes more sense. They all have accents. They all use different words sometimes that don't translate. They also have a reasonable explanation as to why they can all talk to each other. Also, who wants to sit around and read subtitles all day?

Yes, I'm glad JMS didn't carry on the Delenn jokes. Sure, she was now half-Minbari/half-Human, but you can only go so far before the jokes become stale ... and he did good where he left it.

I agree that Kosh had the best lines. It was his cryptic nature that made him my favorite chacter at first. But in seasons 2-3 I became more fond of G'Kar and Londo, always at each other's throats (oh, the irony!). Later, I liked Marcus. But Garibaldi was always a close second to my favorites ... until he betrayed Sheriden on Mars; but we soon found out it wasn't his fault.

Don't get me wrong, I like Farscape too. There were always references to Earth history/culture in B5 as well. The difference being that John Crichton was stranded away from home. Those jokes work better in Farscape. In the B5 universe, the alien races are at least somewhat knowledgeable when it comes to Earth customs. But you can play some humor into that as well.

Perfect example: After the computer gives Lennier a history of the motorcycle and a definition of what it stood for symbolically.

Lennier (in an anxious tone): Sexual prowess??!!

He later asembles the entire Kawasaki Ninja, replacing the combustion gasoline fuel sytem with a Minbari energy source, and he and Garibaldi ride together through the station's main corridor.

But I digress. As much as I enjoy talking about B5 with like-minded individuals, are we not off-topic? I leave you with this.

"Zooty! Zoot, zoot!"

Penn and... Er, Rebo & Zooty rule!

No. Im the mod in this forum. Were not off topic. We're nitpicking about alien jokes.

Here's a nitpick:

In the old StarTrek series, during the last season, Spock's brain is stolen by a hot alien chick to be used to support her planet's failing life support systems. Includes the all time cheesy line: "Brain!? What's a brain?"

Here's Another:

Showing that Americans can ruin any good movie farnchise, we remade Godzilla. Well, it really wasn't Godzilla. I'll argue that to the end. He was really a chopped up american version, not the badass Japanese version. Anywho, he bites through a ship in the first five minutes of the movie. But later in the movie he can't bite through a taxi cab? Come on! He had already bitten through a steel hull!

And:

Khan recognized Checkoff in StarTrek II. But they had never met before in the original television episode. So how the hell did Khan know who Checkof was?

LOL. Were you about to say "Teller"?

I never saw that episode of Star Trek, and I never made that connection in Godzilla. Good point, by the way. But regarding your last question ...
He was a latent telepath! His powers were only beginning to manifest at the time. While encountering Kahn, he was broadcasting thoughts to him. It wasn't until the Eterprise got back to Earth that the Psi Corps caught up with Chekov, performed a mind wipe on him and re-wrote his personality to reflect that which we now know as Bester, a Psi Cop with a rating of P12.

Ok. My apologies. It's late, I need sleep, and I have to get up for work by 9am. Hence the rambling incoherent incosistencies between 2 distinct and diverse universes.

Great thread, wish i could post more but i am the type of person that can let stuff go for the sake of the story. As for B5... I have more respect for everyone in here now that i see you are all extremely intelligent (ie...like B5 )

8m on my Zaurus right now, so messages are going to be shorter since they are harder to type on here... ill look for some good nitpicks for tomorrow.

-AntonK

perhaps his jaws were sore?

We need to cut the TNGers some slack here. This would probably be explained away as a safety measure. It should be hard to initiate a self-destruct command. You wouldn't wan't to accidentally blow up your own ship, or allow your enemy to easily do so. It should also be easy to cancel a self-destruct command, as five minutes of keystrokes could be the difference between life and death.

Alright, Galt, I agree.

Howz about the english though? All the signs, like Turbolift, Weapons Locker, Bridge, etc. That are on the ship, are in english. Why not Vulcan or Klingon?

I could write my own nitpicker’s guide to Star Trek, but here are the things that annoy me the most about Star Trek and other Sci-Fi shows and movies.

1. Humanoid aliens - The odds that any alien race would evolve into a similar form as humans, with the only differences being the shape of their ears or a few bumps on their foreheads, is astronomical. Furthermore, having an entire galaxy populated by such humanoid aliens on every single Earth like planet is also absurd.

2. English speaking aliens - It is highly unlikely that aliens would evolve a vocal cord structure that would allow them to speak English, or any other human language, perfectly.

3. The universal translator - This is a convenient piece of handwavium used by both Star Trek and Farscape. The only problem is that language is not based on some universal constant, but rather learned behavior and experience. Also the alien’s lips move to the English words when the universal translator is employed. How in the world does it do that?

4. Transporters - Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle makes it impossible to scan a person accurately at the sub-atomic level, a necessity if the transporter is to work. If it were possible to scan a person so accurately that he could be disassembled and reassembled in another place perfectly, then it would also be possible to create a facsimile of that person. Captain Kirk and company could send their facsimiles down to the planet while the original versions of them remained safely on board the Enterprise. When the mission was over, or if the away team got into trouble, the facsimiles could simply be destroyed.

5. Artificial gravity on space ships without the use of a centrifuge - Physics, as we currently understand it, does not allow for the creation of localized artificial gravity that pulls everything in one direction. For instance, the Enterprise has multiple floors, but the artificial gravity pulls everything to the floor that you happen to be standing on. If you were on a floor below wouldn’t you be affected by the gravity on the floor above?

6. The warp drive - While the warp drive is theoretically possible, it is practically impossible because of the enormous energy requirements needed to warp space around a ship the size of the Enterprise. If the warp drive were possible that would mean that space-time is being warped around the Enterprise. If that happened, the Enterprise would be invisible to any ship in normal space and vice versa. It would be impossible to navigate such a ship and the Enterprise would be invulnerable to any attacker. This is clearly not what is depicted on Star Trek.

7. Holding back technological, medical and social advances - Most of the sci-fi TV shows do this to create a sense of familiarity and make the shows more accessible to the general audience. In Star Trek, for instance, the computer technology is not much more advanced than what we have now. In fact the monitor on Picard’s desk is thicker than contemporary lap top monitors and has poorer graphics. I suppose in the 1980s Picard’s desktop computer was considered pretty advanced, but the writers failed to anticipate advances in this area. Also the helmsman on the bridge still has to reach over a press buttons on the control panel to alter course, change speed, fire phasers, etc., and a crew of a thousand is necessary to operate the ship. Three hundred years from now artificial intelligence will likely be so advanced that computers will be able to make all operational, navigation and engineering decisions on a space ship and any crew would simply be passengers. The medical technology featured on Star Trek and its imitators is also curiously primitive. People still grow old, lose their hair, suffer from a variety of diseases and die of injuries. By the 24th century we would have mapped the human genome for 300 years. Surely our life spans won’t be the same and we would have found a cure for baldness.

I just remembered that in nightfall, by Isaac Asimov, he puts in a disclaimer that certain things such as the ones we're nitpocking about are done to make the story flow. After all, what would happen if they broadcast the show in Klingon?

Shows like Star Trek, B5, Andromeda, etc. shouldn’t have nearly as many different species of humanoid aliens as they have. The idea that the galaxy has hundreds of different species of aliens that all evolve into a similar form as humans and all have a similar level of technological advancement is just ridiculous. As for speaking English, they should use subtitles instead. I think the stories would be more interesting if humans had problems communicating with aliens. Remember Close Encounters of the Third Kind? All I’m asking for is a little originality rather than just ripping off Star Trek.

As I've stated before...B5 was never about the SciFi, it was about the drama. They would sacrifice things like language barriers to continue the story.

Plus, if the universe DID end up with various humanoid races, it would only point to a common origin. Or perhaps they all began as humans in some lost past. Such as in Dune...all "races" in dune are really humans that have changed due both to the melange and their different environments.

-AntonK

The designation "USS" classifies it as an American ship. It stands to reason that the writing would be in English, unless it was built in California in which case it would be in Spanish.

One major nitpick with an otherwise great story; the movie claims that the machines use humans for energy, but actually a living human body absorbs energy. Keeping all those humans alive would be a constant drain on the machine's energy.

Regarding the humanoid aliens in star trek, i saw an episode of next generation once where the klingons, romulans, cardassians, and humans discover that all their planets were seeded with life by the same ancient humanoid species and thast why they all follow that mold.