The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

I dont tell jokes,I just get on your whole appearance with insults

Urban slang style which is raw.


YOU ASHY BACK ,KNOCK-KNEED,SHIT FACE,WELFARE HAVING,REEBOK SHOE WEARING, ACNE CLUSTERED GRILL HAVING, PUSSY ASS LOVEHANDLES CARRYING DIABETIC ASS CLOGGED ARTERIES FAT FUCK ASS SLOPPY BASTARD........YOU GOT SOME NERVE TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME WITH YOUR PENNY LOAFERS ON.BITCHBOY SIT YOUR SWEET SUGAR HONEY-COMBS BENT WRISTED ASS DOWN,I SEE THE SUGAR SPILLING FROM YOUR TANK,SWEETS!

FUCK OUTTA HERE!

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Thats how i go in on someone,i make alot of people laugh.Fuck these YOUR mama jokes,that shit died with the republican mentality

 

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Taken the rest of the jokes in common (yes, I've read all of them), i doubt you would get banned!
After all - this thread is in the Cesspool and have been here for quite a while.
Now, start writing that joke of yours

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--- Joke-time ---

I hear stories about a new kind of toilet paper.
There's a drawing of the profet Muhammed, and you get to color him!

 

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A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"

The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car – and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."

The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"

i roffuled

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!

 

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Hahaha. Nice one man.

One from my mum:

What's red, brown, and sits in a high chair?
A baby shitting out the razorblades it ate!!

 

chink skimming stones at a lake. everytime it skims it makes a sound "ching, chang, chong" or "ping, pang, pong". paki walks up and asks him what he's doing. the chink says everytime i skim a stone it sing out the names of my ancestors.



Paki has a go and it goes "chim, pan, zee"

 

i'll work on it

 

Q: What do you call a barn full of blacks?
A: Antique farm equipment.

Q: What do u call a black priest?
A: Holy shit

Q: What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for?
A: Black Family Inside

Q: What do you call a black person in a three piece suit?
A: Will the defendent please rise.

Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your tv starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people.

Q: Why don't blacks like Tylenol?
A: They have to pick cotton to get to them.

Q: How can you tell when a black has been on your computer?
A: It is not there.

Q: What do you call a black with a new bike?
A: A thief.

Q: What travels at 200km's a hour?
A: A black man hearing a dollar drop to the ground.

 

What do you call 12 pakis in the back of a Land Rover?

A fucking good day’s shooting

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Whats another use for a babies nappy?

A tampon for a fat woman

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I was tidying my bedroom the other day and i found a present i forgot to give to our next door neighborough's kids last xmas..................

unfortunately it was a puppy

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What did the vet say to the dog that wouldn't stop licking his balls?

Good dog

 

Q: Whats wrong with 5 blacks driving a Cadillac off of a cliff?
A: The car holds 6.

Q: What do you call a black person on birth-control?
A: Crime prevention

Q: What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?
A: The bucket.

Q: What does a black person get for Christmas?
A: Your bike!!!

Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls?
A: To get the taste of nigger out of their mouths

Q: Whats the difference between a black guy and a pothole?
A: You swerve around the pothole.

Q: What's the difference between bigfoot and a hard working black man?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted

Q: Ever hear about the black man who went to college?
A: Neither Have I.

Q: What's faster then a black guy running down the street with your TV?
A: His brother behind him with the VCR

Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don't work and always take your money.

Q: What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?
A: Jail break

Q: A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving?
A: The cop!


Black Parrot
A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"

"Africa," says the parrot.

 

How come there aren't any niggers on Star Trek?
They don't work in the future, either.


Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.

Why do niggers stink?
So blind people can hate them too

Who's long and black and smells like shit?
A nigger

How was break dancing invented?
Niggers trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.

Why are niggers like sperm?
Only one in a million actually work.

What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
A dumb gorilla.

Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?
To get all their stuff back.

How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read?
They're both niggers.


Why are niggers fast?
Because the slow ones are in jail

 

What do you get when you cross a nigger with a wetback?
The ultimate criminal
Why are niggers stupid?
Because they are niggers
What did the black baby get as soon as it was born?
A master
What's disgusting and in a nigger's clothes?
The nigger

 

two people are hicking in the woods when they suddenly hear a bear, one of them looked to the other to find comfort only to find that he had disapeard- "he" was a woman.

 

I'm gonna need that one explained to me. :bugeye:

 

a man and a woman were hiking

 

Did you know this text message cost 10p. This 10p could feed a nigger for 1 week.

Send this text to all your mates and help starve the fuckers.

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NEWS FLASH! Major eartquake in Pakistan. 500,000 dead. Australia sending food, USA sending shelter, Luton sending replacements

 

Why are niggers dumb? Because they are niggers! :roflmao:

 

Wots long, black and smells?

The Welfare Line

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What do cigarettes and pakis have in common?

They come in packs of 20, they stink and everyone wants them banned

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Two irish men walking down a road. walking past a police station they see a sign in the window saying: 2 blacks wanted for rape! One turns to his mate and says "Them black cunts, they get all the good jobs"

 

Ha, what's the stupidest kind of ape?

A NIGGER LOL

What's black, ugly, smelly, stupid, and lazy?

A BLACK LOL

 

2 Muslim mothers wre watching their kids playing in a park, when one said to the other it’s nice to see them playing like this because they blow up so fast these days.

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Whats two foot tall and stands at the end of a little girls bed?

Gary Glitters Boots

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What’s 40 feet long and stinks of piss?

A conga line at an old folks home.

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whats the difference between michael jackson and greyhound racing?

the greyhounds wait for the hairs to come out

 

Why are stupid black nigger motherfuckers dumbasses?



because they are lol!