lol, I knew you guys would cheer me up, but yea.... I've recently been totally rethinking things about my life and how it's turned out. I've never been arrogant by any means or anything, but I see the fact she's getting married as ironic but logical. I mean had I been her I probably would be getting married too, and asking the same exact thing from her, lol I don't know her very well yet, but I can see it just as clear as if I did, we would infact get along, and things would go well, and it would turn out great. But that's never gonna happen, not with her or anyone else. I'm very different than most, things are never so easy for me. Also I don't like settling and such, but seriously I don't think she has, I believe NOW that the universe is one ball of irony and infact just because someone is similar to me in many ways doesn't mean we would/could ever be dating. That's what the irony is.... I'm learning more what I need, and how unique it tends to be. I'd love to be her friend really (because we get along so well) but right now, at this moment, I'm realizing things in life about myself and I've just got to concentrate on overcoming them. It isn't the time for a girl who's a friend, not for me. I don't know if it ever can be. Anyways that's what I'm going through right now, this realization and others. I plan to stop having lunch with her soon, I know it won't be looked on very well by her because she needs a friend, but I need something too (not her necessarily) but things other than a friend. I'll have to overcome this emotional stage alone I'm afraid. I only write this now because I just woke up from a nap and was sleepy, but not really ready to go to bed again. Can we say woOt.
You're turning into a fine young man. If you plan to stop seeing her anyway, why not tell her how you feel?
It's really not about her at this point, I've only been having lunch with her and getting to know her for a month or so, maybe longer. It's more or less about me, I can think we'd have been great going out but until we did I am not positive, and it doesn't matter much because it's pretty clear the universe is saying "just because you're alike doesn't mean you'd be good together." So this realization is something else I'll have to deal with, however it will be alone. And I plan to mention that I'm dealing with emotional realities etc. in a smiilar way (IF) she asks why i've stopped having lunch with her, I'll just tell her the truth that right now I'm going through something emotional and it's difficult for me, but that I need to concentrate on overcoming it. She'll get the idea. Thanks Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
My life I wrote junk here, simply put, loser 29, met girl finally related with but she just married, wants to be pals, went out to a bar together to try it out, more depressed now than ever since it was such fun, slightly drunk then, I feel like such garbage let me tell you all. I feel as if my entire worthless life was wasted because I'd been hoping to meet someone like that for a long, long time, but hell them being married just sucks. There's no way to say it, that sucks. You know my history here but fuck Carmen that girl from years ago, and screw everyone today. I'm so weak I think because I've never tried anything different, what fun we had but only as friends. Isn't it ironic to you/me...... so I think right now I'm going to find some bar and just drink beer. I haven't gone to one alone ever but if I stay here I'd go mad, I think, I'm going here http://luckybaldwins.com/ By I'll see you later, I can say to you guys I don't think I've ever been in such pain, and it's my stupid emotions that cloud my reason, such a stupid fool. To bad I work around her... I just find it ironic it's so ironic it's just so sad, and I love that she called me 29 and said I was like an adult now, what lovely sentiment.
And so the never ending saga of this true life soap opera continues onward toward a new direction, alone and waiting for the right person to show you what you already know.
You knew she was married before you went. If you stay friends she may introduce you her female friends.
Actually yeah the good thing with women is that if your a friend is one, she might be able to help you get introduced to other women. So go for it =)
Honey, the love of my life and I can't get along. I KNOW where you're coming from and I moved across the country just to get him out of my head, and just when I think I feel better, I find myself blue because of some television soundtrack song. But being in a relationship, no matter how great the person is, isn't going to make you happy with you. And last month I would have cried. And the month before that, I would have bawled. What I'm saying is, is that it these things like being lonely heal slowly. Meet new people. Not just for romance, but just get out. Go have a beer. Take up a hobby. It's cliche, but works. Trust me.
Don't know how to delete this, but maybe this will cheer everyone up: I think we all can agree high fashion and beards rock.
Well I just got back, turns out the pub isn't so far as I thought, it's really close actually. I've decided to go there regularly even if I don't meet anyone, most of the people there were guys, or guys with girls. It was 16 bucks for a pitcher so basically I'm gonna have to set aside that much anytime I go, because I don't wanna just go and leave, I wanna stay to break up my lonely life (if it can be). I have to tell you after 1 pitcher of guinness beer I still feel pretty lousy, I don't know how to get over something when it's just natural. I know it's weird really I do, I wish it was different, but damned if she isn't super cool. Anyway I am just gonna go around as best I can at work and not dp anything strange, I could've stayed there till midnight, maybe next time. Ugh, it's just so stupid to be me right now, I guess nothing works out for me though, what a funny BS story eh? God...
I know it hurts. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Good on getting out though. Keep trying.
You know I called my friend, they made me feel better (they always do) but seriously tommorrow it's like we never talked, the calmness just flies away Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I'm gonna do what they said though, it's stuff I haven't tried to do for coping with things. Also I still plan to visit that bar regularly, but damn beer 16 a pitcher Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
How much is in a normal beer pitcher over the pond (in litres preferably, your pints are smaller than ours)?
Do not forget that any alcohol is a DEPRESSANT, not a stimulant so do not try to drink allot to get feeling better about things. Inject methadrine or take amphetamines to do that! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
You're probably more attracted to this girl because you know it's impossible and you're using her as a reason to give up and try to forget whatever pain or fear that's keeping you from intimacy with another. Going to the bar every night and buying a pitcher will NOT bring you closer to happiness - it might make you one of those sorry wrecks with no self-respect though.
Alcohol makes me wanna be the fun guy while Adderall (4 amphetamine salts) makes me watch to punch babies. But at least with Adderall, I can get things done.
