Hey - if you Google on the title of this, you'll find a bunch of different versions of it. Often with hundreds of entries. I've updated and edited the first 60 from one of the lists, and would love to hear any additions. For anybody slow on the uptake - one of the favorite debate/political tactics taken by fundies in America is to play the martyr. And act like Christians in America are so discriminated against. So this is a satire on that idiocy: ------------------------------------------------------------------------- All this recognition lately of intolerance, and prejudice against Christians really helps point out how totally securalized this society has become! Well, its good to see it being brought out into the open. The anti-Christian bias in our society has reached absurd proportions. Consider: 1. During the last election campaign, George Bush said that Christians should not be considered patriots or real American citizens. 2. Bush and his administration all steadfastly refuses to give any speeches at local churches. 3. Both major political parties are dominated by anti-Christians. The Republican party, for example, gave us such hard-core atheists as Pat Buchanan, Dan Quayle, Phyllis Schlafly and Ronald Reagan. And the Democrats have given us such personalities as the Rev. Martin Luther King and the Rev. Jesse Jackson-- both noted for their vicious attacks on all forms of Christianity. 4. Let's talk about the media. On Sunday mornings, nearly all major television channels broadcast pro-atheist shows; it is nearly impossible to find religious programming during that time period. Further, Madalyn Murray O'Hair has her own cable TV channel and many other atheists do as well, while Pat Robertson and other Christians have been unable to obtain one for themselves. 5. Most major newspapers run a special weekly section devoted to atheism. There are no equivalent sections for religious news. 6. Anti-Christian shows such as the American Atheist Forum are broadcast by major national networks. Meanwhile, Billy Graham is only able to get on the air through public access TV, which is watched by few people. 7. On news programs and "reality" TV shows such as Rescue 911, nobody is ever shown giving thanks to God after surviving a disaster. 8. It is almost impossible to find a Christian book store, while Atheist Book Centers are featured prominently on every corner. 9. While atheists couples who marry rarely have any difficulty finding a place to do so, it is nearly impossible for Christian couples to find a church where they can marry. 10. For that matter, churches themselves are extremely rare, while atheist meeting centers can be found every few blocks. 11. Recently, several atheists have shot and killed Christian priests as they were going to work in their churches. Similarly, atheists are well known for blockading churches on Sunday mornings. 12. Nearly all of our elected public officials are atheists; they even have to swear on a copy of Darwin's "Origin of Species" in order to take office. In a similar vein, jurors must take an oath upon a copy of the Skeptical Inquirer before they can serve. There have even been court cases thrown out because one of the jury members was a Christian who insisted on swearing on a Bible. 13. And of course, people are free to wear pentagram jewelry, but those trying to wear cross-shaped earrings or pendants to work will be politely told to remove the jewelry or lose their job. 14. Speaking of the workplace, Christians often find it nearly impossible to get time off work for religious holidays such as Christmas. 15. Even our language reflects the radical anti-Christian bias that pervades our society. For example, when somebody sneezes, most people say "Darwin bless you". Similarly, "Voltaire dammit!" is a common cussword. 16. All of our money has the atheistic slogan "We do not trust in God" printed on it. 17. In many schools and and meetings across America, our children others recite the pledge, "One nation, anti-God, indivisible...." 18. One cannot rent a hotel room without finding a copy of Nietzsche's The Anti-Christ in the room. 19. Many organizations such as the Boy Scouts deny membership to Christians. 20. In the military, it is nearly impossible to obtain Conscientious Objector status for religious reasons, even though those with philosophical reasons can obtain C.O. status relatively easily. 21. Christian churches are forced to pay exorbitant taxes. 22. Georgia recently passed a new law requiring schools to have a "moment of noise" during which children are encouraged to degrade Christianity. 23. College campuses usually have dozens of atheist organizations, but few if any for Christians. 24. There are several well-known atheist campus preachers who lecture on college campuses on the virtues of atheism. 25. Also common on college campuses are groups of students handing out copies of Betrand Russell's "Why I Am Not A Christian"; some even force people who don't want these books to take them. 26. Campus newspapers often print editorials extolling the virtues of atheism. 27. People look at you funny and wonder if there's something wrong upstairs if you admit to being a Christian in public. 28. Many Christians are afraid to admit their Christianity to their parents and friends, for fear their kin will consider them immoral Christian scum and want nothing to do with them. 29. For decades, high school and college commencement ceremonies have included brief speeches at the beginning and end of the ceremony in which atheism is praised and Christians deemed irrational. Christians who object to the practice, or who ask for an opening prayer instead, are regarded as cranks at best and subversives at worst. 30. "There are no Christians in foxholes" is a popular slogan in our society. 31. Most hospitals are full of atheist symbols, and many prominently feature statues of Nietszche, Darwin, and so forth. 32. Communities set up atheist brainwashing facilities, and apply social pressure to citizens to report to these facilities every Sunday morning. Furthermore, attendees are expected to contribute money to support these facilities, and to build others through "outreach" programs. 33. Most parents in America indoctrinate their children at an early age to be atheists by forcing them to attend these brainwashing sessions, whether they want to or not. 34. While atheists hold huge rallies in 25,000-seat amphitheatres, Christians are so few in number that they can only dream of holding such rallies. 35. At baseball games, you can often spot people carrying signs that read "Origin Of Species, page 34". 36. Hospital waiting rooms usually come equipped with children's copies of Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History Of Time", complete with order forms so that parents can send off for their own copy. 37. Atheist magazines such as "Atheism Today", "Today's Atheist Woman", "Atheist Homeschooler", "The Atheist Century", "Atheist Ministry", "The Atheist Archeological Review", "Atheist Parenting Today" and "The Atheist Science Monitor" are featured prominently in newsstands across the country. 38. The Fellowship of Atheist Athletes has local chapters on college campuses throughout America. 39. According to recent Gallup polls, approximately 86% of Americans do not believe in God. 40. Politicians often refer to America's "Agnosto-Atheist heritage" when trying to woo voters. 41. Atheists are beginning to subvert the American political process. For example, the American Atheists recently published over thirty million voter's guides for distribution at atheist meeting-houses. These guides gave specific instructions note to vote for those who oppose atheist values. 42. It's easy to buy checks with quotes from Thomas Paine, but almost impossible to buy checks with Bible verses on them. 43. Businesses often refuse to admit that they are Christian owned and operated, for fear of being boycotted by their atheist customers. Meanwhile, atheist-owned businesses often feature Darwin-fish logos in their ads. 44. There are large networks of atheistic private schools in America, while it's nearly impossible to find a private religious school. 45. It's difficult to find people with good Christian names like John or Paul or Christopher. 46. Most gravestones in America are engraved with pentagrams; those few graves which are engraved with crosses usually end up being vandalized. 47. Around the time of Darwin's birthday, Christians have to put up with songs about Darwin, which are played in shopping malls, restaurants, and even public restrooms. 48. We number our calendar years according to the number of years that have passed since Darwin's brithday. Hence the term "A.D"-- "After Darwin". 50. Books which promote Christianity are often removed from library shelves in response to atheist pressure groups. 51. Insurance companies refer to natural disasters as "Acts of Darwin". 52. Sports teams often read from the Humanist Manifesto prior to the game, in the hopes that doing so will increase their chances of winning. 53. Atheists constantly threaten television and movies producers with boycotts whenever they portray Christianity in a positive light. 54. Atheists often hold bonfires at atheist meeting centers, where Christian literature can be thrown into the fire. 55. Gambling is freely legalized for secular purposes, yet churches have to have their bingo halls in Las Vegas, Atlantic City or on Indian reservations. 56. Baseball games and the like have "The Star-Spangled Banner" sung by hard-rock groups bellowing out lyrics such as, "Foolish god-crazed slaves (whip crack)/At the altar of Rock and Roll you'll kneel!" and the singers will encourage any Christians in the stands to get eaten by lions held ready on the playing field. 57. New military officers are expected to say "God does not exist" at the end of their commissioning oath. 58. Congress starts each session with selected excerpts from Michael Martin's Atheism: A Philosophical Justification. Each house of Congress also has its own "Atheist Chaplain". No Christian prayers are ever made in Congress and no Christian chaplains are available. 59. On sitcoms and movies of the week, the parents make references to how their lack of faith in God helps them get through life's troubles. Meanwhile, Christians are protrayed as pathetic folks who end up converting to atheism. 60. Atheists who convert to christianity are often told by their parents "It's just a rebellious phase. Once you move through this stage of life you'll realize that you never really believed in God." Similarly, people who are raised as Christians are condesended to, and told that if they would give atheism a chance, it would fill the empty hole that Chistianity must be leaving in their lives.
61. Darwin Baptists, an extremist atheists outfit has a target to convert all the living being, including lions, on this planet into athiests within a decade.
