Teacher accused of sex with teen

Discussion in 'Ethics, Morality, & Justice' started by Brian Foley, Jan 23, 2010.

  1. Brian Foley REFUSE - RESIST Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,624
    I went to Catholic schools....many years ago...not a single one of my teachers ever looked like that or tried to "violate" me.

    After years of therapy I still haven't gotten over it.
     
  2. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  3. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    37,884
    Mod Hat - Transfer note

    Mod Hat — Transfer note

    Honestly, I couldn't come up with a scientific aspect to justify this thread's presence in Science & Society, so I decided we could try it here. Of course, that is with the presumption that there is an ethical, moral, or judicial aspect we might focus on?

    I mean, I would hate to think this is just a circle jerk or something.
     
  4. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  5. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    Messages:
    24,690
    I understand the concept of unprofessionalism and all that. In many educational institutions it's considered unethical for an instructor to have a liaison with a student even if they're both adults.

    But in cases like this the complaining parents often cite "psychological harm" or something of that nature. Come on guys, you're making fools of yourselves by spouting bullshit like that! You always talk about how important it is to bolster kids' self esteem. Well, I promise you that boy now has enough self esteem to last him through grad school!

    I bet he gets high-fives everywhere he goes.
     
  6. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  7. mordea Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    418
    He might not feel too happy if he finds out he has contracted HIV, or is a soon to be daddy who will have to scrape together cash to pay child support.

    I do agree that psychological harm is often BS though. Some boys (and girls!) have crushes on their teachers. But it's still dicey. Firstly, there is a grossly skewed balance of power where the child is prone to coercion and manipulaton. Secondly, children often do not understand the consequences of sex.

    Granted, the same can apply to relationships of couples of similar age, but I still don't think it's appropriate for authority figures with such power and experience to promote and partake in that BS.
     
  8. Rav Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,422
    When I was sixteen years old and in year 11, I had a major crush on one of my teachers. I wouldn't say that she was particularly beautiful, but she wasn't unattractive either. I remember her legs the most. Great legs, and particularly sexy when she wore a shortish summer dress and open toe sandals. I was fantasizing about her since the first day of class, as was my best friend at the time.

    Anyway, there was this one occasion when I bumped into her up at the local shops on a hot summer day. She knew that I lived just around the corner from her because she lived right next door to a girl I went out with for a little while and we'd run into each other previously and had a couple of brief chats. I accepted the ride, but instead of dropping me at home she took me straight to her place. Nothing in particular occurred to me when she pulled into her driveway. I guess I remember thinking it was a tiny bit strange, but it also seemed reasonable enough given that I literally did live less than a minutes walk away. What I did think about for absolutely ages afterwards was the fact that she asked me if I'd like to come inside for a cold drink. In that moment I remember feeling nervous about the social awkwardness of the situation, made up some excuse that I don't recall anymore, thanked her for the ride, and walked home instead.

    To this day I am not sure what her intentions were. It is entirely possible that she was being genuinely and innocently nice. She was, after all, one of those really nice teachers. It was a hot day to be walking back from the shops, so a ride home and a cool drink is a reasonable thing to offer someone. But then again, inviting a student to your home, especially when you live alone (as I had found out from my ex-girlfriend that she did) is a questionable thing to do. Not only that, she had busted me staring at her legs in class on more than one occasion, so she knew what was going on in my mind. I thought about all this for ages afterwards.

    As it stands however, I don't have an "I had sex with a hot teacher I was crushing on" story to tell anyone, as much as I sometimes wish that I did. What I have to say instead is that even though sometimes I imagine how incredibly awesome it could have been, I'm not so sure that it would have turned out to be anything like the romanticized fantasy that I had floating about in the mind.


    This is indeed the most relevant and legitimate argument. I'd had girlfriends before, and I'd even been madly in love before. But this wild crush that I had on my teacher was on a whole other level. I wasn't just infatuated with her. It was more like worship. I'd had many conversations about her with my best friend at the time, and she always trumped every other hot chick at school, even though she wasn't actually prettier than most of them. The fact that she was an older woman, a teacher, completely unattainable outside of a young boys imagination, was the X factor. There's no doubt that she would have had a profoundly significant influence over me. Skewed power balance indeed. A sexual relationship could quite easily have had a negative impact on the rest of my life, especially future relationships. Or, maybe not. The thing is that you don't know, and the potential is definitely there, which makes anyone in her position irresponsible if they actually pursue such a relationship.

    But, well, we're still free to fantasize aren't we

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  9. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,714
    So naturally the same applies with a male teacher and female student right?

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  10. Nasor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,231
    That's a good point, but since she was no longer his teacher when the relationship started, it's not clear that there were really any "power" issues involved.
     
  11. superstring01 Moderator

    Messages:
    12,110
    Legally, yes.

    Emotionally, maybe not. Females and Males have different outlooks on sex.

    ~String
     
  12. Michael 歌舞伎 Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    20,285
    I had a teacher once ask me if I wanted to go to Turkey with her. This was in University and I have to say I was shocked. I thought she was kind of cute but ... this was too much even for me, I said I'd think about it and that it sounded like a great idea ... but I had this job internship I was working over the summer .... and ... it never came up again.
     
  13. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    Messages:
    24,690
    He's probably more likely to catch HIV from his teenage girlfriends, who are far less likely to practice safe sex than an adult. As for child support, no court in America would nail him for that. If the teacher tried to sue him for child support, the entire busybody establishment would make sure that she was prosecuted for statutory rape. Or for contributing to the delinquency of a minor, if the age limit for statutory rape is lower in his state than in mine.
    I'm not really trying to condone it. My point is that the general reaction to it is ludicrous. There was an episode of South Park when a female teacher had sex with a boy, and somebody in the community wanted to prosecute her. The cops, the D.A. and all the town elders were doubled over with laughter when they heard about it. The school can fire her for unethical behavior if they want, but I strenously object to calling it a crime. If being unethical were a crime our entire government would be in jail.
    Romance??? You're joking! There's no romance in a young male teenager's first couple of sexual encounters. It's all hormones. You would have left her house pumped full of endorphins and you would not have come down for about a day and a half. Teenage romance feels like love, but trust me, it's not!
    Of course not. Male and female sexuality is different at any age. Males reach their sexual peak around 18. Females reach it around 30. If you're an older man who wants to have sex with a teenage girl, you have to mount a campaign of lies and promises and seduction that brands you as a complete, irredeemable asshole.

    If you're an older woman who wants to have sex with a teenage boy, all you have to do is NOT hit him over the head with a brick when he comes on to YOU.
     
  14. Nasor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,231
    Yeah, that's what always confused me about the whole "they don't understand the risks" etc. arguments that people always make. On the face of it, it seems a lot more risky for an idiot teen to have sex with another idiot teen, rather than an older adult. Unless you think that you teen just isn't going to have sex unless they're "seduced" by a "more sophisticated" adult, in which case you're probably delusional.
     
  15. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,714
    I thought the world had moved past that old attitude, lots of females want sex the same as men. If it's consensual how could it be more damaging to one sex than the other? Surely it just comes down to the individual? How can a woman abusing her power be fine because it's just a guy, but a man abusing his is so much worse?
     
  16. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,714
    That's a little old fashioned. Girls have sex drives too ya know, at any age. Damn where's VI when you need her?
     
  17. Rav Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,422
    When I said "romanticized", I simply meant that thing we do where we imagine a situation or a scenario in the most idealized way that we can, almost as if it were a fairy tale. Aside from that, I do indeed agree with your sentiments.

    She was quite a bit more than a day and a half kind of woman. On a scale of one to ten, she was more like a month and a half. But, damn you, I don't want to think about it. I'd rather not have too many of those "if only I could go back" moments

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  18. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    23,049
    as antiflag said, the double standeds around here leave me shaking my head. I was persuded by a younger girl (im now engaged to her BTW) and i have to tell you guys that girls are JUST as likly (if not more so) to be the instigators of a sexual relationship as the guy is no matter WHAT there relitive ages are
     
  19. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,817
    and what were your ages at the time?
     
  20. Rav Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,422
    The way I see it, discussing double standards was on someone's agenda already, and they steered the discussion that way.
     
  21. dixonmassey Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,151
    It's quite amazing to see how the past 200 years infantilized human race. 15 y.o. were making history, married and having kids, today 21 y.o. is a "kid". If you really want to extend childhood well into 30s - get a graduate degree.
     
  22. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    72,825
    Isn't it illegal to encourage sex with minors?
     
  23. Nasor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,231
    In the US it varies from state to state, and depends on the age. In many places it's legal for adults to have sex with 16 or 17 year olds, and there are more complicated laws for teens+young adults. For example it might be legal for a 16 year old to have sex with a 19 year old, but not a 25 year old.
     

Share This Page