Presence

**Absane** · 09-03-09, 02:52 PM

How to you gain presence? Being "in the moment?"

It's something I am working on... when I "hit it," I feel more alive, happier, less stressed, and I generally have the "don't give a shit what happens" feeling. Mostof the time I am always worrying about what time it is, how I can escape a situation, fearing the future, etc. It sucks. When I'm in the moment, I take everything as they come and I don't worry about the outcomes.

It's a quality that a people magnet for some reason. Like, your presence kills all neediness and because of that, you have no choice but to give more than you take.

How do you keep it all the time?

**spidergoat** · 09-03-09, 02:59 PM

You want to be deliberately spontaneous? LOL, There's nothing you can do.

**Absane** · 09-03-09, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by spidergoat

You want to be deliberately spontaneous? LOL, There's nothing you can do.

?

I suppose that you don't understand. It's about being aware of your surroundings, yourself, and others without worrying about what did happen, what will happen later, etc.

It's a state of mind, not something you do.

Have you ever experienced "flow?" I'm sure you have... it's sort of like that.

**Lori_7** · 09-03-09, 03:16 PM

this is something that my fiance and i are working on too. we both came to the conclusion that living in the moment makes sense, and makes for a much better quality of life. not being stupid or reckless or not caring about anything, but letting go of the past, and to not fear, or worry about trying to predict the future. so much of our present time and energy is wasted on things we can't control.

**Absane** · 09-03-09, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by Lori_7

this is something that my fiance and i are working on too. we both came to the conclusion that living in the moment makes sense, and makes for a much better quality of life. not being stupid or reckless or not caring about anything, but letting go of the past, and to not fear, or worry about trying to predict the future. so much of our present time and energy is wasted on things we can't control.

For example, a corworker of mine last night was getting all pissed of and saying "Man, I should have been off the clock 2 hours ago!"

I do it sometimes, but I try not to. It's a depressing way to live.

My dad backed into my truck and left a huge dent in the front driver side corner. 99% of the time, I just don't care about it. It happened and the truck isn't worth that much. My family and friends keep saying to fix it... but why?

I wish I could apply that to everything I do... sometimes I do.. and it's amazing.

**Lori_7** · 09-03-09, 03:35 PM

Originally Posted by Absane

For example, a corworker of mine last night was getting all pissed of and saying "Man, I should have been off the clock 2 hours ago!"

I do it sometimes, but I try not to. It's a depressing way to live.

My dad backed into my truck and left a huge dent in the front driver side corner. 99% of the time, I just don't care about it. It happened and the truck isn't worth that much. My family and friends keep saying to fix it... but why?

I wish I could apply that to everything I do... sometimes I do.. and it's amazing.

it is amazing, and definitely worth an effort to adopt that mindset, though it is quite a change from what most people are used to. it frees your mind up to enjoy so much more of life...to really take it in and perceive it, free of all the worry and cynicism. paradigms explode, stress goes away. and because of that, your intellect, your mental, emotional, and physical health improves.

can you imagine if that was everyone's agenda?

**Mrs.Lucysnow** · 09-03-09, 03:44 PM

Meditation to increase awareness. Its a useful tool to being in 'the now' as opposed to being lost in your thoughts and accomplishing tasks on automatic. It will help you achieve this 'in the now' quality that you are looking for. Its easy really, its simply focused attention, so you are aware of your surroundings (sights and smells) and what you are doing without being 'lost in thought' and missing the 'now'.

**Absane** · 09-03-09, 03:48 PM

Originally Posted by Lucysnow

Meditation to increase awareness. Its a useful tool to being in 'the now' as opposed to being lost in your thoughts and accomplishing tasks on automatic. It will help you achieve this 'in the now' quality that you are looking for. Its easy really, its simply focused attention, so you are aware of your surroundings (sights and smells) and what you are doing without being 'lost in thought' and missing the 'now'.

Maybe, but you'll only achieve this presence while meditating. I can do that easily while taking a shower or trying to fall asleep.

And, I don't think it's simply focused attention. It's about being open to all streams of information yet so relaxed you can cherry pick between any of them with ease.

The trick is to do it while you're out and about during the day. You have to find your negative thoughts that prevent you from being present, seek their origin, and extinguish them.

**Mrs.Lucysnow** · 09-03-09, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by Absane

Maybe, but you'll only achieve this presence while meditating. I can do that easily while taking a shower or trying to fall asleep.

And, I don't think it's simply focused attention. It's about being open to all streams of information yet so relaxed you can cherry pick between any of them with ease.

The trick is to do it while you're out and about during the day. You have to find your negative thoughts that prevent you from being present, seek their origin, and extinguish them.

No you don't need to be sitting with your legs crossed alone in a room with a mantra in your head. I'm referring to attention, being aware when you are focused on what and where you are in the present as opposed to being focused on the thoughts in your head or sizing up the present. You don't have to fight any thoughts to be in the present or seek their origin or anything like that, you are thinking of a particular kind of meditation that is for other purposes.

For example people who know how to drive do so on automatic, their head can be elsewhere and yet they get to where they are going without paying close attention to everything around them or all they are doing. Focused attention is what you do when you are learning to drive, when you focus on every action and pay attention to all around you. We do this all the time, when walking somewhere for example or even watching tv, not really being absorbed and thinking other things etc.

**EndLightEnd** · 09-03-09, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by Absane

How to you gain presence? Being "in the moment?"

It's something I am working on... when I "hit it," I feel more alive, happier, less stressed, and I generally have the "don't give a shit what happens" feeling. Mostof the time I am always worrying about what time it is, how I can escape a situation, fearing the future, etc. It sucks. When I'm in the moment, I take everything as they come and I don't worry about the outcomes.

It's a quality that a people magnet for some reason. Like, your presence kills all neediness and because of that, you have no choice but to give more than you take.

How do you keep it all the time?

Meditation. Its all about being happy with the moment you have irregardless of your surroundings.
The more time you spend in meditation, the easier it will be for you to hold on to happiness during your everyday life.

**Lori_7** · 09-03-09, 05:29 PM

But if you're meditating, all you're doing is meditating. Is that really living? Especially for those who don't believe in god. Are you just isolating?

I think what he's talking about is applying that mindset to your interactions and everyday activities.

**EndLightEnd** · 09-03-09, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by Lori_7

But if you're meditating, all you're doing is meditating. Is that really living? Especially for those who don't believe in god. Are you just isolating?

I think what he's talking about is applying that mindset to your interactions and everyday activities.

The benefits of meditation have been proven, not only on mental health but it also strengthens neural connections in your brain. Scientists with EEG machines have done all kinds of cool stuff on monks.

Just because I dont believe in a God does not mean I do not believe in the unity of life, of the universe. Meditation is about opening up, not isolation. About accepting what is, and eliminating the ego.

In a good meditation you are at peak alertness while the body is basically completely shut down. You will experience sensations foreign to you once you get into deep enough meditations. The word "feeling" takes on a whole new meaning.

**Mrs.Lucysnow** · 09-03-09, 05:46 PM

Originally Posted by EndLightEnd

Meditation. Its all about being happy with the moment you have irregardless of your surroundings.
The more time you spend in meditation, the easier it will be for you to hold on to happiness during your everyday life.

Focused attention is a form of meditation but it is not geared towards focus on mantra or ones 'thought'. Its about being present.

**~~draqon~~** · 09-03-09, 05:46 PM

its a feeling after death, it lasts forever.

**Lori_7** · 09-03-09, 05:49 PM

But wouldn't it be great if you could achieve that mentality all the time? Regardless of circumstance or surroundings? To me, meditation and prayer are developmental, and to be applied.

**Lori_7** · 09-03-09, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by draqon

its a feeling after death, it lasts forever.

That's nice. You mean the death of the flesh.

**~~draqon~~** · 09-03-09, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by Lori_7

But wouldn't it be great if you could achieve that mentality all the time? Regardless of circumstance or surroundings? To me, meditation and prayer are developmental, and to be applied.

there are different types of presences that can achieved. Meditation is just one of them.

One of such I know is forcing one willpower to push the body to its limits, thereby loosing self in surrounding. Pain becomes a guide to freedom of thought and when pain becomes numb the feeling of euphoria comes in.

**Lori_7** · 09-03-09, 06:02 PM

Originally Posted by draqon

there are different types of presences that can achieved. Meditation is just one of them.

One of such I know is forcing one willpower to push the body to its limits, thereby loosing self in surrounding. Pain becomes a guide to freedom of thought and when pain becomes numb the feeling of euphoria comes in.

I've been pushedto the limits by pain and frustration and have ended up much better off because of it.