Atheist armageddon pet rescue

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by James R, Aug 28, 2009.

  1. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    It turns out that atheists are nice people after all.

    Atheists have set up a company that provides a service for evangelical Christians who will be taken up to heaven during the coming Rapture. Since these Christians often don't believe that their pets have souls, the pets will be stuck here on Earth when their owners are beamed up to heaven. That's where the atheists come in.

    Since the infidel unbelievers won't be going to heaven either, they can stay on Earth and look after the believers' beloved pets. How it works is that believers sign a contract with the atheist company, by which for a small fee the company undertakes to care for the believers' pets when they ascend to heaven.

    Now, believers can rest assured that their loved pets will be cared for by friendly atheists when the big day of the Rapture arrives.

    Thanks, atheists!

    http://media.theage.com.au/national/breaking-news/atheists-armageddon-pet-rescue-702350.html?
     
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  3. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    How much are they charging the Christians?

    Got it:

    Very nice people indeed.
     
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  5. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    A small price to pay, considering that a yearly visit to the vet for the pet's regular checkup could cost the same. The company undertakes to care for the pet for the rest of its life.
     
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  7. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    After the Rapture. Who takes care of the pet before that?
     
  8. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    It is customary for the owner to take care of his or her pet, SAM.
     
  9. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

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    Well that's just bollocks.

    How are they going to keep the pets from being burned up in the hellfire that sweeps the globe, for example? Better for atheists to invest in Papal dispensations, "just in case".
     
  10. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    I guess if the evangelicals believe their pets will be incinerated then they won't be paying this company to look after them.

    Is that what evangelicals believe, GeoffP?
     
  11. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    So after the owner dies and before the Rapture, the atheists will take care of the pet? Is that the agreement?
     
  12. draqon Banned Banned

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    this is beyond retarded.
     
  13. Sarkus Hippomonstrosesquippedalo phobe Valued Senior Member

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    Perhaps they are referring to "Rapture" as in a personal one - i.e. death of the owner - rather than the all encompassing hell-fires that will sweep across the face of the planet etc or whatever the Rapture is supposed to entail.

    So basically it is just a "we'll look after your pets when you die" insurance.
     
  14. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    Can I see where it says that in the FAQ or the contract?
     
  15. iceaura Valued Senior Member

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    The other way around - after the Rapture but before the owner dies.
     
  16. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    So its for imminent Rapture? Well never say that Athiests are not Moral beings
     
  17. iceaura Valued Senior Member

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    We have a saying: There's a theist born every minute.
     
  18. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    And many of them have money.
     
  19. Enmos Valued Senior Member

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    James, you've made 24 posts today already. Are you alright ?
     
  20. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    The owner won't die before the Rapture, surely! The Rapture will be here any day now. It's the end times, SAM. Haven't you heard?

    No, they're referring to the one in Revelation, the Armageddon.

    Today my time, or today your time? Because I don't think we're in the same time zone, and two of my days may well span one of yours.
     
  21. Enmos Valued Senior Member

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    My time, but the posts are perfectly distributed.
    Anyway, forget it. Sorry.
     
  22. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Enmos:

    Don't worry. I don't think it will greatly affect my average post rate.

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  23. Bells Staff Member

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    Read from what you quoted yourself...

    Non-Rapture death is not included in the deal.
     

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