The Baron Max News Service Reports!

[Baron Max]

Exclusive reports from ...The Baron Max News Service!

The BMNS has learned from paid government speculators and wild-assed guessers that President Osama will soon lift the ban on the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy of the US military concerning gays in the service. If the ban is lifted, service members who are openly gay will be permitted to serve openly in all branches of the US military.

Males who are openly gay, and who admittedly are attracted to other males, will be permitted to share the barracks and the bathing/toilet facilities with non-gay males. Regular ol' normal male soldiers who ain't gay expressed concern to this BMNS reporter, "I'm not too happy being oggled by ...one of them ...while I'm taking a shower!"

President Hussein Osama has promised "Change", and we're gonna' see a lot of it soon say some of capitol hill's finest wild-assed guessers, speculators and talking heads.

***

In related news, the US Super Court has sided with the soldiers in a lawsuit by the soldiers of the 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, NC, and the 101st Airborne Division, Fort Campbell, KY. In that lawsuit, the male soldiers sued for the same rights as the gay male soldiers. If gay male soldiers, who are sexually attracted to other males, can live with non-gay males, then the airborne soldiers, who are admittedly attracted to female soldiers, should be permitted to live with the females in the barracks on the posts.

Some women soldiers expressed concerns - "I'm not too happy being oggled by ...some horny male ...while I'm taking a shower!" It's interesting that that's almost exactly what the male soldiers said about showering with gay soldiers!

The military is somewhat hesitant about the policy, but will comply with the Super Court's rulings and move males and females together in the same barracks later this week. President Osama has promised "Change" and this is certainly going to be change!

***

In other, somewhat related news, the Super Court of Ohio has upheld a previous ruling by a lower court in a lawsuit brought by Farmer Jones. The previous court ruling permitted the red fox of Ohio to share the henhouses with the hens in the late evening and night hours.

Farmer Jones was worried about his hens, but the court said that there's no reason to believe that the foxes won't behave themselves ...the fox just need a shelter from the elements. As long as Farmer Jones explains the rules to the fox, then there should be no problems. (and if there are problems, then it's all Farmer Jones' fault!)

Stay tuned for more upcoming speculation and wild-assed guesses about happenings in the world by the ...Baron Max News Service!

[pjdude1219]

More partisan hackery from the right. hell congrats you passed the test you can work for Fox news.

[shorty_37]

Ha ha ha!!

[superstring01]

Mod Note: Cute, Max. Amusing. Cesspooled.