Good people. Bad people. Nature's force.

It's almost as if nature has a force on us to be bad people.

What is this nonsense about sowing and reaping meaning good things will come to those who sow good deeds? Nuh-uh!

Good people tend to get nothing but taken advantage of. Abusers and manipulators tend to get everything because they take advantage of others.

What you sow, you shall reap. That means if you sow seeds of taking advantage of others, you reap the greatest harvest. No?

Isn't it true that the ones who are nice, caring, and giving - get nothing but abuse? While the ones who treat others like crap, bully others, and go out of their way to hurt others - get everything.

 

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Yea, but if you're good you'll go to heaven while all the other ones go to hell.

 

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unless god makes mistakes. then good people can go to hell and bad people can go to heaven.

 

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All of this is true sometimes, but not all the time. While there may be something to be said for the conniver, I think you'll find that the vast majority of them end up leading miserable, lonely existences, having been exiled by those who know he's no good.

 

Blasphemy ! God doesn't make mistakes !

 

Hmm. Good insights. Wouldn't you say that the abusers tend to feel great about themselves being happy and content all the time? While the nice people are so fucked up from all the abuse that they end up lonely, self-mutilating, depressed, disturbed, individuals?

 

I supposed it depends on the individual. If the person is capable of feeling remorse, then they likely will. But rather than focus on that, I'd be focused on the fact that eventually they'll be left alone because nobody will want to be around them. Bullying and manipulating can get you what you want--for a while. But eventually it becomes a big, bright neon sign over your head, and people can see you coming from a mile away.

Is there a certain situation that you've recently been through?

 

Not exactly, but I've just been observing a hell of alot of things in human relations. I met this man yesterday who said that his nephew died from taking steroids.


What do you think about this true story:
Once upon a time, there was a really nice person. He met this girl that he really connected with. Soon enough, he found himself falling for her, and wanted to have sex with her. But it wasn’t just about the sex. He actually cared about her. He was always there for her, treating her well, making her feel special, doing nice things for her, and giving her positive uplifting reinforcement. This guy was stable, safe, caring, smart, and kind. Instead of banging him, she told him that she saw him as a friend. Yet she treated him really shitty, acted disrespectful towards him, and never appreciated all the nice things he did for her. Sometimes she would even treat him as if he didn’t even exist. This nice person continued to care about her. If ever he came on to her, she would get upset, and tried to make him feel bad about it as if he was doing something wrong or offensive. She even went as far as telling him that if he continued to make his feelings for her painfully obvious all the time, she would stop talking to him. Meanwhile, all these abusive manipulative type guys who really didn’t give a damn about her would hit on her. She enjoyed it, wanted more, and even had sex with them. She saw the asshole creeps as great wonderful people, and saw the nice guy as a total creep. The nice guy cussed her out for being a shallow slut. Then she stopped talking to him altogether. Somebody told this guy that the reason she didn’t like him because he was too peaceful. And that he was too peaceful because his testosterone levels were too low. Because of social pressures, he began taking steroids to increase his testosterone levels so that he may transmogrify into a beast that girls desire. Then he died from all the drugs he was taking at an early age.

Now the fucked up thing about this story is that while this individual was clingy, whiny, and desperate, the fact of the matter is that he was a good person. Somebody I have far more respect for than abusive manipulative males and females who really despise such type of people, and feel they have the right to walk all over them. I find it sad that social pressures would compel a good individual to want to be an asshole instead of compelling assholes to want to be good peaceful people.

 

Souns to me like she was bein to nice to this guy who coudnt seem to take a hent.!!!

What woud you have done if you had been in her shoes.???

 

"Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic."
Anais Nin

Most women shirk neediness. You say he was 'clingy', 'whiny' and 'desperate' well that's a turn-off for many women and even for many men.

What you have forgotten in your rant is that it is possible to be a decent person but not be a sucker, not be easily manipulated and swayed. The good can be strong warriors for the causes they feel passionate about like justice for example, they can protect those who cannot protect themselves. Not all good people will suffer if they have a firm edge. The most interesting folk on this earth are a combination of weakness and strength, a blend of good and bad features. All of anything in character is a sign of ill-health.

 

he is all powerfull. He can make mistakes if that pleases him.

 

Sadly, life is not fair.

 

What does that have to do with it?

OK, first thing's first: You need to wake up a bit. Just from this little bit here, it already sounds like a million relationships I've seen or been a part of. Clearly the guy wasn't treating her as well as you say he was, because being "clingy, desperate, and whiny" are all a part of how he treats her. She tells him that it makes her uncomfortable, but does that stop him? No. In fact, he can't even bring himself to agree with her, and instead becomes angry and bitter.

This is the girl he's supposedly treating so well, and supposedly cares so much for? Yet he isn't man enough to realize he's smothering her?

Love sucks sometimes. Sometimes the girl isn't into you. Instead of hanging around like a moron so both you and her leave worse for it, you should just go your seperate ways. Who knows, maybe a few years down the line you meet again, and she feels differently? Maybe ten years later you meet, both fresh off the worst mistakes of your lives, and you realize you were meant to be together?

But now that will never happen, because the guy smothered her to the point where she actually had to tell him to back off (strikes one, two, three, and four...and maybe five...either way, you're out...), and his obviously-negative reaction to the news must be as painfully obvious to her as it is to me.

And what makes him think he's so much better than the next guy, anyway? His track record with the girl sucks already, and they were never even dating! He's already proven that he doesn't really care what she thinks unless it's "Yes I want to fuck you and be with you", so his devotion is obviously insincere.

The dude is a douchebag.

 

No. He was a nice person that cared about her, and treated her nice. She treated him bad, and slept with whoever didn't care about her. Maybe he was clingy and such, but he didn't get upset until she treated him bad and slept with assholes. What do you expect him to say about it? It appears that he was there for her or willing to be there for her whenever she needed it. Meanwhile, she was never there for him, and treated him bad. Of course he would get upset. How is that being a douche bag?

Really, strong or weak physically or emotionally is irrelevant. Nothing else matters more than caring and being a good person. If she didn't like him for it, she's an idiot. But it appears that those who are good are inevitably compelled socially or in nature to strive to be the manipulative abusers that nature seems to reward.

 

It's you, isn't it?

Anyway, that's not important. You keep glossing over this clinginess and desperate attitude, and obvious whininess (it's obvious to ME, so it must have been hitting her over the head every minute of the day) as if it was no big deal, and not creepy or uncomfortable in any way.

The fact is that she wasn't interested in him romatically. I see that you cannot seem to separate "treated him bad" from "slept with other guys", so I have a feeling that the former means the latter. She can't be held responsible for not being interested in him. As has already been said, the qualities of desperation, whininess, and clinginess that you so easily treat as if they are no big deal, are major turn-offs for either sex. I get the feeling that her rejection of you is what you're really steamed about. And that's fine. It might be very recent, and if it is, I'm sorry. But once you take an objective look at it, you'll see that you were probably smothering the piss out of her. Otherwise, she wouldn't have asked you to back off. It's one thing to reject someone, but to have to tell them that their advances are actually upsetting them means that the guy is clearly acting like a fool and coming on too hard.

But that's not true, dude. There is far more to attraction and relationships than that. She might be the kind of girl who likes to chase her guys. I've known girls who like to be treated like queens, while others want their ment o be submissive and take orders without questioning why. I've dated some of those bitches...ugh. Don't want any part of that, trust me.

One thing none of them like is a guy who throws himself all over her. Being nice doesn't make up for that. Being a good guy doesn't make up for that. Trust me, man, once you've been in a few relationships, you'll see. The important thing here is to learn your lesson: girls don't like to be smothered. Even if you don't believe me now, come back a week from now, or a month from now, and revisit this when the wounds have healed. You'll get it.

 

"The path of those who walk in goodness and virtue is strewn with thorns...whilst the wicked gather nothing but roses." -Marquis DeSade

Eloquent ^^^ falsehood!

 

I don't know the whole story, but it's clear that he was fawning over her, and she wasn't interested in him romantically. That was never the argument. And I'm sure she does consider him a boring douche bag while she considers the ones who didn't care about her to be wonderful and exciting. In fact, it's likely that she was even manipulating him into believing he was a douche bag by treating him as if he was the douche bag in this scenario. The fact is that he wasn't a douche bag. He happened to be a very nice person that had no will to abuse or manipulate people. The dude cared about her, was totally honest about his feelings, and treated her well. Instead of being romantically interested in him, she was romantically interested in the assholes. That is why it appears that the good get used and abused. While the abusers get all the rewards.

 

If somone you didnt desire romanticaly considered therself to be "nice" an wanted to have sex wit you... woud you be obligated to "sleep" wit 'em.???

 

Then it will be deliberate, and deliberate actions are no mistakes.

 

What's not fair about it ?