A little humor

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by Thoreau, May 1, 2009.

  1. Thoreau Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,380
    I figured with all of the serious debate going around, I'd share a little something to lighten the mood.

    I received this via email at work. It's a little religious humor, not offensive.


    CHURCH BULLETINS

    The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
    ------ ----------------------------------------------------
    The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
    ------------------------ ----------------------------------
    Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
    -------------------------------- --------------------------
    Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
    ------------------------------ ----------------------------
    Next Thursday ther e will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
    ------- -------------------------------------------
    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
    ---------------------------------------- - ----------------
    Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
    ---------------------- ---------------------------
    Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
    --------------------------------------------
    Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
    ---------------------------------------------------------
    The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
    ------------------------------------- ---------------------
    The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan:
    Last Sunday: ''I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'
     
  2. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  3. PieAreSquared Woo is resistant to reason Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,144
    Good job.. thanks for the laughs
     
  4. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  5. takandjive Killer Queen Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,361
    That was nice, MZ.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  6. Google AdSense Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.

Share This Page