Children Learn What They Live

Children Learn What They Live
by Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism. He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility. He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule. He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame. He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance. He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement. He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise. He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness. He learns justice.

If a child lives with security. He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval. He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship.
He learns to find love in the world.

 

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Boy you hit the nail right on the head there.

 

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Ever notice also that small children, under the age of 10 or so are very loving and trusting with everyone they meet whether those people are strangers or family. Then something happens and that innocence is lost forever.

 

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And then the child meets the child molester, and is accepting and friendly, ..... and then all those pretty, fanciful things that the child learns has fucked him/her up because he hasn't learned about reality ...and all that he/she learned goes right down the shitter!

Yeah, he learns about love, alright ....just not quite the kind that the fantasies prepared him for!

Generalities are almost always a fucked up way to learn about anything. If a child doesn't learn about reality, without all the mamby-pamby, liberal bullshit lies and fantasy, then he's going to end up being fucked more times than he/she wants!

Baron Max

 

I couldn't agree more. A child needs to learn balance, when to be merciful, and when to be severe. There is nothing wrong with either when applied appropriately to circumstance.

 

I dispute the "shy" argument. I was constantly ridiculed both at home and at school, It only made me bolder. Same with encouragement, I was never encouraged to go into debating or public speaking, and while I'm not a complete star, I'm still proficient. I can get up and do a decent debate, Instead, my parents were always criticising me about my maths and science results, that, may lead to my condemning others, but I usually do so with damn good reason.

Other than that.. Good aphorism. Except like most aphorisms, only applies to a certain number of people.

 

if child lives with a grenade...he learns of heaven?

 

If a child lives with a grenade,he's a soldier.

 

Once is usually enough to disabuse people of such ideals.

Jeez baron, you're a little more verbose than you used to be.
If it were up to you, you'd chuck us all on the street, have kids learn the hard fucking way of doing business.

 

Explaining the "why" of it isn't really necessary as long as the child understands your instructions. Even adults do things without fully knowing "why" they do it.

Personally, I think many parents today make the serious error of thinking that their children can actually and fully reason as an adult. That mistake often leads to some serious problems in discipline later in life.

Baron Max

 

No, not at all. What I would do, however, is what's been done and proven for thousands of years of human existence ...teach the children in the same way as was done earlier, without all the bullshit of psycho-babble and idiotic liberalism.

Ditto for how to take care of child molesters and other vicious criminals ...hang them or shoot them. Why does any society of humans want or need such people in their midst? ...and, yes, prison is still "in their midst".

Baron Max

 

Hmmmm I criticized my older ones project last night. If I see they rushing through something and doing a crappy job on something, I will let them know.
I am not one of these parents who will praise them on everything no matter how shitty
it is. I will praise them when they deserve it though. I think it has made them work harder and use their true potential more. I think when they get to be a certain age you shouldn't sugar coat everything anymore. They need to learn about reality and how the real world works, not the fantasy land some ppl want to live in.

 

I don't know, I think I actually disagree with this to an extent. I think the child's individual personality has a lot to do with it. That's why siblings who are raised in the same household can end up behaving completely different from one another, in similar situations. A child raised in a hostile environment may become a fighter, but they might also become with drawn, timid, and afraid of confrontation. Even though I don't have any children of my own, I work with all types and I think personality plays a very big role.

 

So you were molested as a child and never got over it.

 

I guess this is all relevant to where you live and the societal structure and laws as to how you handle the raising of children but the original question was do children learn what they live and live what they learn, and I have to say they learn what they live through their parents, and in this current period of time in most modern civilizations it is scary to think that so many messed up parents are raising children who will be just as messed up if not more messed up than themselves.

 

Is that a statement of fact, or a question without the question mark?

Baron Max

 

That's one of the many hazards of a society that values individual freedoms.

But I find it difficult to believe that so many would take away so many individual freedoms because of the actions of only a few.

I also think it's interesting that no one even mentioned the ideal of free will. I don't believe that a kid could go up in modern society and not know that certain things are wrong.

Baron Max

 

I just watched a video on Palestinian children who want to become educated, get PhDs and spread the message of peace. So some people don't learn what they live, they move past it.

 

One or two isolated cases proves nothing one way or the other.

Baron Max