Dream lover (short film by Avatar)

Discussion in 'Art & Culture' started by Avatar, Oct 2, 2008.

  1. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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    Dream Lover is about a girl, who dreams. She dreams herself and her lover, and the game is between herself and herself. She lives and is born from her experiences in the dream realm. Alas, it is never just a dream.

    Made this short film with some of my friends. Spent 3 days filming and two weeks editing (a few hours each day after work).

    Please tell me, what you think! It's my first try, so please be honest.

    Watch or download here:
    http://exposureroom.com/dreamlover
    http://vimeo.com/1861070 (for slower connections, click HD-is-on, to turn HD off)

    Film web page: http://our-fire.net/index.php?pid=28
     
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  3. Steve100 O͓͍̯̬̯̙͈̟̥̳̩͒̆̿ͬ̑̀̓̿͋ͬ ̙̳ͅ ̫̪̳͔O Valued Senior Member

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    Not my cup of tea. I couldn't watch through it.
     
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  5. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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  7. Steve100 O͓͍̯̬̯̙͈̟̥̳̩͒̆̿ͬ̑̀̓̿͋ͬ ̙̳ͅ ̫̪̳͔O Valued Senior Member

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    It's not that it was bad, it actually seemed well done.
     
  8. Sciencelovah Registered Senior Member

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    So, first of all, congratulation for your first film, you made it!

    My comment is.. I like the music and the 'color' of the movie (somewhat gray),
    it enhances the movie a lot..

    however:
    - the plot isn't so clear, who is that guy with plastic bag on his head and with
    dead body at the end of the movie? Anyway, because it's just a dream, I think
    it is perfectly acceptable
    - I think you need to improve the special effect.. for example, there is this scene
    where a rose / a flower come out of the girl's mouth. Firstly, the way it came out
    is too slow. Secondly, it disappear in not so 'soft' way. If it is difficult to make it
    disappear softly, I don't think you have to make it disappear, because in the end
    she will use the flower anyway...
    - when she took out a cloth from the wardobe, the scene was too slow.. and so in
    putting the button. It distracts the flow...
    - the girl acting is fine, but the lover have to work a bit more.. there is this scene
    where he faces the girl for the first time.. and the look in his face is just wrong..
    - if possible, maybe you can try some effect that make the shot more soft.. like
    for example, uhm, there is a bit pimples on the girl's face, it's a bit distracting (just
    a bit). If you can reduce the contrast, I think it's better. The kissing scene is perfect
    but I don't watch on that part much because I afraid I will be blushing

    Overall, it's great, congratulations again. Actually I am supposed to work right
    now, oh bye
     
  9. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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    Thanks for the review, inzomnia!

    To your points:
    - The guy with a plastic bag is a corpse collector, like in the middle ages during the black death, when people like him used to go around houses and collect the dead bodies. Just he has a Recycle sign on his back instead of a cross.
    The corpse in the cart is the girl, just from the previous dream/incarnation.

    - The special effects suck, aye.

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    But the rose is meant to disappear fast, however the appearing of the rose is clumsy. But we didn't have much roses and it had to be done in the first go (one rose spoiled before that scene, one was destroyed, so we had only one rose left, and it was the middle of the night with no flower shop around).

    - wardrobe - I agree, sorry.

    - lover was just a friend of the girl who she was willing to kiss, so I hadn't much choice in selecting a more suitable actor.

    - I specifically made it sharp, so that all imperfections of skin are visible. It's deliberate style. Not for everyone though.
     
  10. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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    Anybody else?

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  11. draqon Banned Banned

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    plot sux
    too much grotesque picturesque
    ...short
     
  12. John99 Banned Banned

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    i didnt watch much do (cant believe i type do, i meant due to) to no audio. Based on the first few seconds i would say that if your going for an old film look that the contrast is too high and you may want to soften the image up a bit. i will match it when i get to another system, with audio. Unless it is a silent film.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2008
  13. draqon Banned Banned

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    oh yeah Avatar...suggestion....if you can master it...but make the whole film in gray dark colors and the flowers or her lips...or blood in red very bright colors.

    And yes make it all soft.
     
  14. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

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    I did not like it, There was no action and it was very confusing, not the good type of confusing either it was just wierd. The background music was very annoying also.

    The actual screen work was good, the camera work was good too. To be honest it was just kind of boring, but It's better than I could do so Im just saying what I think as a movie fan. If your appealing to a certain audience then maybe they will like it, Put some martial arts and guns in there and im ok.


    peace.
     
  15. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

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    That would not improve it.

    peace.
     
  16. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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    Hahahaha! But yes, it is for a special kind of audience. For an audience that would adore the soundtrack.
    Thanks for your view though.
     
  17. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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    It's a silent film and it's not going for old film look, just its own look.
     
  18. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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    In other words - awesome!

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  19. Sciencelovah Registered Senior Member

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    Avatar, are you going to produce film/movie in the future or is this just for
    hobby? Do you have a production house or do you plan to make one? In that
    short film that you have made, were you the director and the screenwriter
    altogether?

    Just an idea, what if you make the contest of short film screenwriting (you
    decide the theme and the duration), and the winning script will be used in your
    next movie? You can as well give incentives to make people more motivated
    (just an idea). I think for an amateur screenwriter, to have their name listed and
    published in a movie will be already something to be proud of, they can put
    this in their CV to promote their coming script.
     
  20. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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    Those are not exclusive of each other.
    What's a production house? I can manage with myself and my friends for now, in the future I hope more will join. It's not for profit.
    If all goes well we might establish a non-profit organisation.
    It was a quick script because we needed practice and were short on time. Aye, I wrote it.
    No, I want to shoot my own scripts.
     
  21. Sciencelovah Registered Senior Member

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    Production house (PH) is a company that produce and market the movies/films/
    TV programs. To market your movie, you can sell it to a production house and
    they will take care of the marketing. This is beneficial if you have no network..
    If you have your own production house, you can supply your and other people's
    movies, you can hire artists and supply them to moviemakers in your network,
    etc. For a limited budget, you can make some independent PH. But as you
    mentioned it is a non-profit organisation, I don't think you need one (?).
     
  22. Avatar smoking revolver Valued Senior Member

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    I don't want to market or sell anything, I just want to make films and give them away under a Creative Commons licence.
    When I'm good enough I plan to ask for voluntary donations.
     
  23. Sciencelovah Registered Senior Member

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    I know a friend who is a screenwriter. He is a classmate in highschool, then
    went to the same University with me, but different major:

    http://profiles.friendster.com/adhityamulya

    He started to write novel when we were still in school, and all the character in
    his novel are us, the classmate! Even my character is also there (with alias
    name).

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    His novel, the title is 'Jomblo' (which means single/bachelor) became
    bestseller. And then some dude from production house adapt his novel into
    movie, and the movie also sold well (probably because his novel was popular).
    So far he has produced 4 novels, all of them are adapted into movies. But he
    wrote in Indonesian only. Probably could be an inspiration.
     

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