Break Up Rules

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Orleander, Aug 21, 2008.

  1. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    25,817
    I think #4 is the hardest.

    Dating Diaries: Breaking Up Is Easy To Do: 5 Simple Rules


    1. Ride Off Into The Sunset

    Riding off into the sunset keeps our dignity. When a girl breaks up with me, I will say:

    "OK, it was great getting to know you over the past (insert length of time).You take care."

    My business is done.

    Then, I will figuratively ride off into the sunset. I won't tell her how much I miss her. I won't tell her she made a mistake. I won't call, email or text. I won't mention her to mutual friends. I'll be gone from her life.

    Suddenly, it will dawn on the girl that she is not getting her money's worth for this breakup. It is true: people who do the breaking up have an air of power to them. They like being the decision maker, and having the control. But after I walk away like it's no problem, she'll start to think:

    "Wow, why isn't he shaken up over this? Did he even care that I broke up with him?"

    Or even better, the ever-popular and coveted:

    "Did I do the right thing breaking up with him?"

    That's when you know you're in business.

    2. Apply the Wizard of Oz Effect

    Of course, most likely, we are in total pain and anguish after a break up. But, we can't let that show. Remember:

    "Pay no mind to that man behind the curtain?"

    We can, behind the curtain, cry, complain, yell, be angry, and hurt. But, we must craft the appearance on the outside of being fine with everything. We need to look happy on the outside to the other person 100% of the time we see them post-breakup.

    This also gives the illusion that you might be seeing someone else, or that you've got other things going on. Of course you're miserable and there's NOTHING going on in your life, but they don't have to know it!

    3. Enact the Verb in "Breaking Up"

    Get rid of all evidence of them -- put it all in a closet, under your bed, or anywhere. I'm a sucker for a strand of hair or her shampoo smell left on a pillow after a girl is over. After the breakup, this must go: wash the sheets! Remember, in breaking up, to think of it like a guillotine: make it fast.

    On a guillotine, you'd rather have a sharp blade slice your head right off than a blunt blade repeatedly cut and cut until your head finally fell off.

    If it's a break up they want, make it clean for them. It will look good, and it will be easier on you. Flush them right out of your life immediately, and completely.

    4. Don't Look Back

    It's hard to accomplish this. We know not to look back, just like we know not to look down when someone says don't look down...but we still look down. But, make it easy on yourself: looking back and saying stuff like:

    "Gosh, just two weeks ago,we were out to dinner and she stayed over here and we were so close..."

    ...will just make it more painful. You can't look back until it's time to look back when you're truly over it.

    5. Remember You'll Get Over It

    The best thing about breaking up is those following mornings you wake up after you've truly gotten over someone. You're renewed, alive, and ready to see what the world has to offer. Keep pushing through for this feeling, remember all those people you thought you'd never get over (you know you ended up getting over them), and as Jim Morrison once crooned: "break on through to the other side!"

    So, do you agree with these rules? Do you have any nightmare breakup stories? If someone you dumped followed these rules, would you start reconsidering? Would you be annoyed if you dumped someone and they didn't get upset?
     
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  3. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    My advice:

    Move. Nothing works like moving for getting over a heartbreak.

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  5. John99 Banned Banned

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    The more times it happens the easier it gets.
     
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  7. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    husband problems orleander?

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  8. Reiku Banned Banned

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    11,238
    Mmmmm... let me think about this....
     
  9. Reiku Banned Banned

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    11,238
    Oh sorry, a bit detract... were is draq? He should be here!!!!!
     
  10. lixluke Refined Reinvention Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    9,072
    What about shooting the person? People do that all the time.
     

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