We here a lot about dead beat dads, but we never (or hardly ever hear) about dead beat mums, it seems to me that people like to knock men, for being bad dad's, but what about the bad mums? why are people so reluctant to knock dead beat mums? is it because we feal some sort of conection with them because they bought us into this world? surely if men can be bad dads, women can be bad mums? there is no equality it seems to me.
Yeah. But i think women get it alot in literature and movies. (the ever present domineering mother, etc.).
In my religion (Islam) there is a saying that heaven lies under our mother's feet, and that in order of priority we have to obey: 1. mother 2. mother 3. mother 4. father (I hope somebody correct me if I am wrong). I do not know what is exactly the meaning of 'heaven lies under the mother's feet' but for all she did to me (9 months carrying me, gave birth, raising me, etc), she deserves all respect and love among all others. To discuss 'dead beat mums' is then something completely unthinkable... Do you have bad experience, LA...?
yes......i hate my mother, i could tell you things that make your hair curly, the day she dies it will be the best day in my life for me, i will finally be free from all this hatred i carry with me. but that is not why i posted this, when we think of dead beat perants we automatically think of the dad and hardly ever the mum, and i wanted to try and understand why?
My mother used to say the exact same thing. So did my grandmother. I've had some good and bad times with my mum, mostly bad, but I suppose thats a trick of my mind. I think it's because society still views women with a fragile sense, therefore the sight of a mother being dead beat doesn't immediately come to mind.
As with fathers , mothers too are having problems trying to raise a child without proper money, food, home or work to do it all with. Money is the leading problem trying to keep the family intact and doing good. When a mother gets divoirced she then has to take away many responsibilities she had before to do and do other things that keep the family together. She must make sacrifices that don't give her children the good upbringing they need because of her being away more and more to get the money needed to insure the family at least remains together.
At the moment my hair is a bit curly .. aoopss.. (but its true Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!) Do you wanna talk about it (like in PM? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!) Generally speaking.. I know also some friends who have problem with their mothers.. sometimes the stories are too crazy for me to believe, but more or less I guess it is all related with life pressures. If you are in a higher ground, you should try to lift her up, otherwise, whoelse will..
In the United States, at least, the 1980s endured the GOP constantly tearing away at "welfare mothers", as if poor, single mothers were the number-two threat to the United States, behind consciences. The focus on deadbeat dads, at least during my lifetime, arose in this context. One day, someone finally made the obvious point, that these single mothers obviously needed to be getting sperm from somewhere. Add to that that many fatherless minorities during that time found their male role models in exploitative criminals (e.g. gangs). For some reason, Republicans were obsessed with painting the welfare life as a glorious one, in order to stir resentment against these women. Absent from the dialogue almost entirely was consideration of the fathers. These days, the numbers aren't balanced, so people tend to reject the argument when an anti-feminist or misogynist whines and moans about horrible, horrible women oppressing these lovely gentlemen who never did harm to anyone. Recently, for instance, a couple of people in another topic raised an argument in about the law punishing people for being unable to pay child support. Faced with a demand to cite such a law, and, furthermore, to cite such a law under such circumstances as the sum the man can't afford to pay is not, in fact, a delinquent sum, and, furthermore, challenged to show that the law applies only to fathers, they freaked out. Truth is that as the numbers balance out, so will the discussion. In the meantime, while there are plenty of bad mothers, when it comes to what we officially call "deadbeat", the majority are and always have been fathers. In the meantime, most of the focus on deadbeat mothers is raised by desperate misogynists trying to distract attention from more substantial issues. That, in the end, detracts from the issue in general, so that people are cynical when they hear about it.
If more Moms have custody of the kids, wouldn't there be more Moms who aren't paying child support? We have a neighbor who is a dead beat Mom. But she is also a brain damaged alcoholic, which the Dad knew when he started dating her. It amazes me how pissed off he is that she can't find a job and pay child support.
where has i agree that absent perants (allbeit mum or dad) should pay child support the child support agencies should also be realistic, when me and my husband split for a while a few years but they asked him for more than his wages in child support, i belive that if you dont pay it then should be taken from your wages none of this send them to prison nonesense because that wont get the perant with the children the child support
That's a screwed up system you've got there. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but it would seem the child support agencies don't seem to realize that it doesn't matter whether or not he's in the house if his economic contribution in either case is insufficient to meet their standards. Why are either of you allowed to have children at all, then? Or, to be more relevant, does Her Majesty have a clue this sort of thing is going on?
You being serious here mate? Assuming that it was sarcastic i will answer it anyway. Why do you think it would be cheeper to put a kid in foster care than to pay the parents the extra money they need to bring the child up? Thats excluding the fact that kids raised in foster care are MUCH more likly to become drug adicts, prostitutes, homeless or criminals It is MUCH better for sociaty to surport the parents than take the child away from them
It's actually my stab at the system. If a child support agency thinks that support should be more than what a parent is earning, anyway, it stands to reason that the agency thinks that income is insufficient for responsible parenting. Rather than getting caught up petitioning for one parent to pay such a sum in support, they ought to ask that the children be moved to a more capable and secure home. In other words, such agencies aren't thinking the issues through to their logical conclusion, else they would do the right thing and close shop.
Aren't Muslims meant to obey Allah first? Never mind, religion is little more than a sham to protect the weaker members of society anyway. Generally, deadbeat parents come in pairs.
Mod Hat - That's a different discussion Mod Hat — That's a different discussion Then Allah is welcome to let the kid know. Meantime, that's a different discussion. Save it for the Religion forum.
