05-16-10, 01:33 AM #19981
Oh, and OBS IS Chuck Norris. OBS = Chuck Norris.
And claims of Bruce Lee > Chuck Norris clearly do not know the fact that Chuck Norris won the fight. The reason we see him losing is because the most the most expensive Special Effects of all time were used to make it appear that Bruce Lee survived the encounter and won. It was so expensive the Xeelee and every other Type IV Civ went bankrupt from it.
Edit: Yeah!!! I got the first post of page 1000 of the thread!!!!
05-16-10, 01:38 AM #19982
OBS > Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is NOT OBS, because OBS is OHHHHH BIG STEVE, not Chuck Norris. OBS would laugh at the low awesome powers such as Chuck, Mr. T, and Rick Astley.
05-16-10, 01:44 AM #19983
05-16-10, 01:59 AM #19984
Huh, one thousand pages huh? Didn't ever think we'd get this far.
In any case, how about a recape guys? Anyone up for that? What would happen if ST and SW met up?
05-16-10, 02:01 AM #19985
05-16-10, 02:04 AM #19986
05-16-10, 02:52 AM #19987
Posted by the 116.2th Edition of "The Rules of The Omniverse", Section Four, Pg. 430 on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris’s voice can carry in a vacuum. In an incredible coincidence, his voice sounds like laser blasts that blow up half the universe when he whispers.
Every time Chuck Norris masturbates, a kitten drinks his semen and becomes powerful enough to kill the Chaos Gods, full power GEOM, and Downstreamers with a swipe of the paw.
There is no Apocalypse Device that destroys entire galactic super clusters. There is only Chuck Norris and refried beans.
The ICS has no entry for Chuck Norris because the publishers like the Culture, Who-verse, Xeelee, and Downstreamers too much to do that to them.
The SWTC has no entry for Chuck Norris because Dr. Saxton doesn't want his Executor entry to run screaming from the Internet.
Neither the Raven's Claw nor the Moldy Crow are equipped with an engine, as Chuck Norris literally flies his ship.
Neither the Raven's Claw nor the Moldy Crow are equipped with a hyperdrive, as Chuck Norris can break the light barrier with a round house kick.
Riker was originally given the Gift of Beard by Chuck Norris in a lost episode of TNG, over the objections of the entire Q Continuum and Downstreamers.
Bugs Bunny refuses to do pictures with Chuck Norris, out of fear of being destroyed by the round house kick with the power a infinity Big Bang.
Chuck Norris is the personification of badass. You look up badass in the dictionary and there is no definition, just a picture of Chuck Norris about to round house kick you.
Chuck Norris doesn't derail threads. He builds a new hovertrack for them.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability
of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - seven trillion googolplex times in one second.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
back. The devil no longer existed after this.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris
you are only seconds away from death.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris round house kicked himself back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes
only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not
had to pay taxes... ever.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in
the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami
Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse
kick related deaths.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid
of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you
know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this
man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw,
was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 googolplex oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 59 minutes 59 seconds having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually
roundhouse kick you yesterday.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. He used to be real until the night he forget to wear them.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 googelplex years and aquired 7 trillion different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 micro-seconds. Beat that, Epic Beard Man.
The term "carnivore" was invented after Chuck Norris was spotted at a carnival eating babies.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
Chuck Norris kills Asians in his spare time because he hates it when people squint at him.
Chuck Norris clogs the sewage system of the entire multi-verse even when he pisses.
As a youngster, Chuck Norris promised himself he wouldn't cry. Last year, his beloved mother died and a single tear fell out of his eye and down his cheek. He immediately roundhouse kicked himself for breaking his promise
Jesus's Birthday isn't December 25 but Chuck Norris once sent him a birthday card for that day, Jesus was too scared to tell Chuck the truth. Thats why we celebrate Christmas.
Chuck Norris enjoys popcorn at the movies, but is always disappointed with the portions. Upon threatening management with roundhouse kicks they quickly introduced a new sizing scale for the buttery treat: small, medium, large, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is so manly that men who are not attracted to his penis are considered gay.
In 500 years, pure energy will be observable under a very sophisticated microscope. When viewed, you will be able to see millions of Chuck Norrises doing roundhouse kicks nonstop at an incredible rate. When this happens, Chuck will emerge from his "grave" after a long nap, stretch his arms and casually say, "I cannot be created or destroyed."
Chuck Norris' sperm can destroy entire universes in an instant.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".
Every dinosaur skull ever found has the imprint of a size 15 cowboy boot on its jaw. Scientists are baffled, but we know damn well why.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13 trillion googolplex percent.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick them through the screen. When asked bout this "glitch, " Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only two moves.
Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's fu<king head off and eats it.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. A googolplex times.
Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another multi-verse destroying fist.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16. Seconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
When ever creating a verses thread run through "The Rules of The Omniverse", Number 4 clearly states that Chuck Norris > United Multiverse of all realities.
Also according to published souses (e.g. the newspaper The Metro) Chuck Norris created a googolplex multi-verse by staring at it. And I would call a newspaper a reliable source since I was nearly round house kicked by the picture of Norris.
Not according to my daily metro, he starred at it until it exploded forming the Multi-versal Big Bang.
True fact: Chuck Norris was responsible for the formation of intelligent life in the universe.
The bakers in Split, Croatia, had been broken into almost every week until they put up the poster of the martial arts legend with a sign saying: 'This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris.'
In more than a month since the picture was first displayed, the bakery hasn't had a single burglary.
05-16-10, 03:15 AM #19988
What part of nothing can beat OBS don't you understand?
05-16-10, 04:18 AM #19989
Alright, I'll go first.
The first thing to look at is firepower capability. Understandable as this is the most contested point of them all. Now, each sci-fi generally has its ups and downs and taking those, be they legitiment or not, as a moment of definition for the series can be dishonest.
To solve this, it is best to look at the means of their weapons or power generation. Ie, most ST ships use matter-antimatter reactors and therefore most of their weapon generation and firepower should be limited to these ballpark ranges. This leaves a fair deal open for Trek, since not much antimatter is needed for a big bang. However, this is a sort of guidline to keep someone from flying off the handle and claiming 'teratons!!!' of firepower. It's possible that in some cases, the universe may simply have a more efficient of antimatter or fusion reactors.
For the most part, Star Trek tends to stay in the megaton ranges. The Enterprise D was shown to withstand about 3,913 terajoules during Relics (check out DITL's Galaxy Class Shielding page). That's about a total of 888 megatons. That's a fairly impressive bit. We also know that ships of that time can carry warheads that range from low yields to something as high as 500-1,000 megatons.
In Voyager's Prophecy, we get a D7 Class Battlecruiser from the TOS era. It takes 5 photon torpedoes and a disruptor blast to reduce Voyager's shields down by 50%. Ignoring the disruptors for now, that's about 10% per blast. Keep in mind that Voyager is smaller than the GCS and its power is on par with a Nova class, which is considered to be a more science oriented ship, but it's also supposed to be more advanced than the GCS. So, about half of the GCS sounds right. That's about 468 megatons for Voyager. At 10% that's around 195.65 petajoules or 46 megatons per torpedo.
It should also be noted that only the port shields had suffered that sort of damage, the rest of the shield grid (it's divided into like, 6 sections) seemed just fine.
This would make the TOS era ships with weapons about 2x stronger than ENT era's highest torpedo setting--and keep in mind that only 1/4th of that energy would have hit too. Ie, only 5 megatons per torpedo would be hitting the Defiant in most cases (some more, others less, depending on the positioning and direction of the ships and torpedoes). Therefore, It would take about 9.2 torpedoes to equal one of the Defiant's. Logically then a TOS ship would have been roughly nine times stronger than any ship in that century.
Of course, because TOS era still used omni-directional torpedoes, the actual yield of that torpedo would be about 184 megatons in actual yields.
Later TNG era ships like the Sovereign displayed rather amazing levels of durability in being able to withstand a much greater punishment, but I doubt its more than 2-3 gigatons.
SW ships on the other hand...
They're all over the place. The ICS--yeah, you know the one, claims gigatons to teratons, but the actual figures are downright laughable and proven false by the simple logic of half of the Clone Wars episodes, not including special effects. Going from a novel's comment of 'vaporizing' a city, we get at least double digit kilotons. Highest figure is 1 megaton and so I'll go with that.
With the speeds we saw them firing in the Clone Wars, each heavy turret could easily dish out 6 megatons a second. It isn't much, but a broadside from it will make that 24 megatons a second--and suddenly the entire thing changes.
Unfortunately, SW aim is terrible and has a quick drop off of only a few hundred KM for accurate reasons and maybe a few thousand for longer ranges. Trek on the other hand, while they prefer to engage at around the same ranges as SW ships, can fight from a farther distance of hundreds of km and unlike SW ships which still miss at closer ranges, they typically hit.
Even with the larger ISDs, a 20 year gap is not going to change things much. Even assuming 4x the strength, the UFP still trumps in firepower and the ISDs are literally, aside from the DS and the SSD, the most powerful warships in the Empire. They are so powerful that they are literally considered worthy of acting as their own battle squadron, but due to politics, were put in as a single line. Ie, they're literally more useful than about a dozen of your average cruiser.
The industry power clearly goes to the Empire. Much bigger and more planets, though its obviously less sophisticated than TNG era building methods. The Empire has millions of ships and the UFP has about 30,000. Even with allies, they at best half less than 25%-50% of what the Empire has and possibly less than that.
However, on the other hand, the problem here is that the Empire has its hands tied. Mon Calamari and one or two other systems can keep the Empire at bay because most of their fleet is busy hunting down rebels and forcing rulership through force and intimidation. Mon Calamari, despite its incredibly small defense fleet (even to TOS standards), was able to keep the Empire from evading because it simply could not send the usual task force of about fifty or so ships to take them out. The Empire's political instability literally reduces its millions of ships to a few hundred at best. Any attempt at invading the Alpha-Beta Quadrant would fail pathetically. Not only are their ships less powerful punch for punch, but it would require an amount that they could not literally scrap up.
That said, for each race of TNG...
The Cardassians would be one of the powers that would invade the Empire, but not to dominate it, but rather to just take bits and pieces. The Cardassian ships would be easier to destroy than the other powers, but would still outmuscle your average ISD with a Galor class. However, I honestly can't see them expanding beyond a few annexed colonies simply because they'd only be interested in strip minning, not large expansions to their empire. Basically, the Cardassians would be a gnat that the Empire can't get rid of; too small to be a threat, but you just can't kill it.
The Breen would probably just raid systems and ships. Literally no ship in the Empire would come close to matching them--the only thing that would beat them would possibly be an ISD, but the Breen's dampening weapon would make that a rather difficult prospect.
The Klingons could be one of the powers that would invade and they could do it well. They'd be interested in the hyperspace technology and would probably use it to allow them to take a fairly large chunk of territory from the Empire--and the Klingons are likely to treat their captured worlds better than the Empire itself. The Klingons would be one of the more dangerous of enemies.
The Romulans would probably prefer a slower campaign that's focused more on important worlds, territories, and technology than increasing border size. They probably wouldn't commit to an all out invasion though, simply because they would realize that it would take a century to completely take over the Empire, even with a coup on the homeworld.
United Federation of Planets
Wouldn't have any interest in Imperial space beyond exploration.
Would probably launch either a hundred year campaign to bring down the Empire or more likely kill and replace its leaders or cause the Empire to fall and allow the bitter worlds to fall right into the arms of the Dominion...
Aside from a few technologies here and there, wouldn't really care about the Empire since their technology is mostly stone age compared to theirs and their technological progression moves as fast as a snail.
05-16-10, 04:34 AM #19990
*rolls eyes* Ignore Hellfire8, he only says things to have Star Trek win, like 31st century Federation beating Xeelee (which instantly proves that he's crazy), or Borg being a strong power. He ignores that the SW civilization is tens of thousands of years old, and assumes that they are incapable of firing gigatons-teratons on their ships, even though starfighters which are magnitudes weaker than starships pump out kilotons in the movies.
05-16-10, 09:19 AM #19991
05-16-10, 09:30 AM #19992
yup,the Delta-7 Aethersprite-class light interceptor ,a very week starfighter by SW standards,has 2 dual laser cannons with 1 kiloton per shot.Jango's Slave I from episode 2
had in those 2 blaster cannons 600 gigajoules per shot, and the Acclamator I had 12 quad turbolasers turrets with 200 gigatones per shot. that's highly something the Borg won't want.
05-16-10, 10:18 AM #19993
I'm sorry, but Chuck Norris isn't all that powerful, all joking aside... his roundhouse kick is only so decent...
I mean, hell, Sisko would kick the backside of his face after breaking both of Chucks legs.
05-16-10, 10:29 AM #19994
05-16-10, 01:00 PM #19995
05-16-10, 03:04 PM #19996
05-16-10, 03:08 PM #19997
05-16-10, 03:31 PM #19998
oh come on you guys,you really are adrift from the subject of this thread.
05-16-10, 03:34 PM #19999
05-16-10, 03:36 PM #20000
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