Why you should consider converting to christianity

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by darksidZz, Jun 1, 2007.

  1. darksidZz Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,924
    Please Convert To Christianity

    Throughout history men have sought to understand themselves and others, to make changes for the betterment of mankind. Today more than ever we need true believers in Christs never-ending struggle against his opressors. If you've ever felt down, sad, if things seemed not to be quite right, well... turn to our lord Jesus for the answers. Please understand god is here for you, more than your mother, your father, your friends, and more than even yourself. Without Jesus to guide you in life things won't ever be fully yours, everything we see and do is all because of Jesus, you can't ignore that fact.

    In the middle ages Christs influence became more widespread, all those in suffering and need beckoned him to visit, to give some special meaning to their pathetic lives. It's as true today as it ever was, your life feels bland and without meaning right? Don't you wish for more than what you've been given or worked toward? Please my brothers consider we're all children of god, there was never a time in your lives when he was not present.

    Let us reflect on things for awhile... before all other religions there was god, Christ... he lived in a place known as heaven. During this men were made, and then Adam along with Eve populated the world. Let's not delve into the reasons they didn't produce freakish monsters due to inbreeding, god used his almighty powers to influence the genes so it did not happen. As time progressed Adam & Eve produced hundreds of children, each in turn mating with eachother.... gods will is absolute.

    There are many things you must understand, I am here to guide you. Did you recently have stressful financial times? God was causing this so you would learn how much you need him in your life. When you question the bible or its contents you end up removing yourself from Jesus's presence, you follow the path towards satan and his demonic forces. You see gentlemen (all) there is a real war going on today, it's a battle for your soul.

    Without god (your) in your life there's a very big chance you will be sent to hell, and there you'll be tortured and punished for not obeying god. I don't want you to end up down there, the bible tells us the only way to heaven is through him (base) so please don't ignore this truth. If you've done anything wrong or evil or negative in your life then repent now, take our lord Christ as your savior, it's not to (are) late to accept him.

    Throughout history men, women, children of all races have come to worship Jesus as a messenger of the one and only God. His spirit is in everything, the rocks, trees, bushes, skunks, pigs, tortises, hogs, bulls, all through them and beyond. The universe was created by this unique mystery, but even though we cannot understand God fully (belong) we know he's real and good.

    Forget your past transgressions against him, let the light of Jesus Christ enter your world, let the demonic forces that give you horney, sexual, perverted thoughts be drowned by the mundane (to us) energy of this great being. I cannot help you in, I can only show you the door...

    Islam, Judism, Catholism, all these things are part of the true religion known as Christianity. Even though they existed long before our religious ideology they non-the-less are meaningless, for god came and told the men all of his beliefs, and they accepted this. If you want to worship an idol like a golden calve then go ahead, but it can only lead you to ruin.

    Your thinking has been poisoned by society, your facts are wrong and god can help save you. Science means nothing, Jesus is the only thing you should care about, if you don't obey us now then later on something terrible will happen, you could be in a bad position. We love everyone, but if you don't love god we can't truly be part of your life... (resistance) please don't ignore what I'm saying, you need real (is futile) real honesty, genuine concern, and our religion in your life.

    Well that's all for now, but truly consider our message, my message, otherwise you will suffer horribly and god won't help you.

    PS This is satire
     
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  3. Balerion Banned Banned

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    Amen, brother. Not only is Jesus Lord, but He is also God, who is God above all other gods. Without him, there would be no stars, no Sun, no Earth, no trees, no churches.

    Jesus' struggle is eternal, which is why we need your help to put a stop to it NOW.

    Plus, there are many things to learn as a Christian. Have you ever wondered why the universe is around? The Word of God can answer that. Do you ever think to yourself, "How should I treat my wife?" God can can answer that, too. Meaning of life? God's got that. Question? God. Q? G.

    We need your help, lost brothers and sisters? Jesus needs you! Give up your heart to God, give up your soul to Jesus, and give up your mind to the Bible. Let's put an end to all of Satan's evil, such as murder, homosexuals, and democrats. Join the church!

    PS- Satire as well...
     
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  5. darksidZz Valued Senior Member

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    We must my brother, you are wise and insightful, clearly god is your companion this day. I see life through Jesus's eyes, he's a clear mirror reflecting the sins of the world, namely yours. Without him you won't be saved, and to be SAVED is the ultimate goal of living, after-all who wants to stay in hell for eternity.

    As many here are aware there are certain thoughts that satan places inside of them, namely those of the egocentric kind. You will never be free unless you find god, please I only want to help you.... plus I need money for the churches I will build, we must spread gods word in style

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  7. Diogenes' Dog Subvert the dominant cliche... Registered Senior Member

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    Prove it! I want proof - signed in triplicate by Dawkins and Darwin before I lift a finger to join you superstitious sky-daddy lovin' bible-bashers. I might be a mean, miserable, depressive, chain-smoking, alcoholic git with no friends and halitosis but at least I'm a rationalist, who believes in science and not superstition. Science will save us, it can do anything can science. Science is the best. I got a C+ in science. It's well kicked your religion in the ***** for a start. See, you can't prove your god even exists can you! Show us a miracle then.. go on!

    Oh yes, and another thing - even if you could prove this "Jesus" really existed, and god and all - don't expect to get any money off me. I gave it to the "Save The Invisible Pink Unicorn" campaign lot that came round collecting last week. And any I had left got stolen by the Flying Spaghetti Monster so git yer noodly appendages off it!

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  8. PsychoticEpisode It is very dry in here today Valued Senior Member

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    3,452
    How does Jesus struggle? What's he struggling against? Is it normal for divinity to always be struggling?

    I don't think in any way, shape or form that the creator or his son actually struggle. This is obviously something mankind has invented since we know a lot about struggling. If we are struggling and divinity is struggling then there isn't really anything nice to say about the state of affairs existing in the universe. Is there anybody not struggling in Heaven and Earth?

    Personally if my savior is struggling then I should be worried, no? I need an icon who can handle the savior business, not a wimp. I'd be a little upset if an all powerful being that I believed in can't handle the mustard.
     
  9. sandy Banned Banned

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    7,926
    The funny thing is part of it is true. Corrections are: God's name is spelled with a capital 'G'. He does not give you financial hardship. He lets you experience it if you have not been a good steward of money. Adam and Eve were here before Jesus. Jesus was born of Mary. God's spirit is not in everything. It's only in Him and His children. His energy is not mundane. It is the most amazing feeling in the world to feel his presence. Islam, and Judism, are NOT part of the true religion known as Christianity. Jews worship God. Muslims worship Allah.
     
  10. Medicine*Woman Jesus: Mythstory--Not History! Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    8,346
    *************
    M*W: Who were the Jews?

    Who did the Jews worship before Yahweh appeared in the OT?

    Jesus was a Rabbi. Why didn't more Jews follow him?

    If Jesus is the true redeemer, why are christians dropping like flies?

    PS - Not satire.
     
  11. Oli Heute der Enteteich... Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    11,888
    I do. I mean I DO.

    But the Celestial Hosts *ahem* the marketing boys, (gotta move with the times), said "Research shows people like vowels, so change the spelling man. Something a little less pretentious".
    So here it is, the new, improved me.

    Mainly to get up in the morning, you should try my schedule, oy vay, you really should.

    Oh yeah, one more thing. Did any of you people ever bother checking the publication date on that book? April 1st? Ring a bell?
    Oh boy... one of my best ever.
     
  12. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

    Messages:
    10,848
    jesus was a carpenter, i bet he could have crafted a better crusifix for himself. with nice engravings and such.



    did you know they make a jesus dildo ?




    peace.
     
  13. sandy Banned Banned

    Messages:
    7,926
    The Jews are God's chosen people. They worship Him. God didn't just appear in the Old Testament. He always was and always will be. He is the great I AM.

    Some Jews may have been conflicted over worshipping God and following Jesus? I don't know a lot about the Old Testament since I don't follow it.

    Jesus is the Redeemer. And I don't know anything about Christians dropping like flies. The churches I am involved with are growing.
     
  14. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

    Messages:
    10,848
    do you follow the king james bible or the true to form one? why do you live by a book though sandy? wouldent you be more free and open minded if you lived by the god inside of you?

    i always thought that gods power and influence is captured inside the souls of people, not inside words of a book, liek we know whats right and wrong deep down we dont need a book to live by, only to read now and then and guide us,

    peace.

    peace.
     
  15. sandy Banned Banned

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    7,926
    The Bible is the Bible. No matter which translation. King James is good but often hard to understand. It is very symbolic. The New Believer's Bible is great for beginners. And the others somewhere in between.

    I live by the Bible because it is my handbook for everyday life. It has the answer to every question I will ever have. His Word is comforting, counseling, edifying, peace instilling, educational, and my best possession.

    I am plenty free. "He who the Son sets free is free indeed." Open-minded, not so much anymore. I was in my 20s and 30s. Then I grew up.

    I do live by the God inside me. He is the Holy Spirit. He is my teacher, counselor, healer, peace, provider, righteousness, mighty/strong/Lord.

    God's power and influence are inside the spirits of His people. We are spirits, we live in a body, we have souls (mind,will,emotion.) He dwells in the souls of His people in proportion to how they feed on His Word.

    His power and influence are also in His Word, the Bible. I need the Bible like I need oxygen. I cannot and will not live without it.
     
  16. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

    Messages:
    10,848
    yeah i agree the bible has some good messages, but it also has some silly ones that are not that wise. its all about metaphores and taking things into litteral translation.


    the bible and teachings are riddles and metaphores some easy to understand and some hard. when people start to take things directly from the book and apply them to real life it can get ugly,

    you have to know when to take something word for word how its written and when to take something as a metaphore when reading such tomes,


    like a good example is wearing an outfit wich consists of 2 types of material, to apply that into reality would prove to be not very practical, your not going to match your cotton t shirt with some cotton shos are you,

    but if you take it as a slight metaphore it makes sense, "dont wear more than 1 type of material" as in do not be wastefull of your enviroment, do not over endulge in your surroundings, only take from nature what is nedded, do not be greedy,


    understand?


    peace.
     
  17. nietzschefan Thread Killer Valued Senior Member

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    7,721
    Oh ok sign me up...for....eternity.
     
  18. sandy Banned Banned

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    Yes. The Old Testament can be very hard to understand. There is a lot of metaphor, symbolism, interpretation, and mystery.

    "The scriptures can be hard to understand, containing mysteries and hidden things, that must be searched out, prayed about, understood with a humble mind, showing faith, with the aid of the Holy Spirit."

    http://www.bibleprophesy.org/understand.htm
     
  19. KennyJC Registered Senior Member

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    2,936
    This thread is just too much.

    I'm not even going to start... because I'll never finish.

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  20. Medicine*Woman Jesus: Mythstory--Not History! Valued Senior Member

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    *************
    M*W: All praise and glory to the almighty Son of God dildo, on sale now at your local sex shoppe. Sold in brown paper sack. For extra titilation, Jesus dildo includes crown of thorns tickler, sacred heart of Jesus scented massage oil, edible chocolate loincloth so scrumptious to die for, 7 additional butt plugs, and 30 rosary beads for anal stimulation. Must be at least 33 years of age. Accessories extra. Batteries not included.
     
  21. nova900 more spirituality,less dogma Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    546
    In the spirit of this thread:

    "Will you all ,..my sons and daughters ,please give your heart ,mind and soul to our everlasting Goddesss Aset (Isis) ??
    Here you will find your true meaning in life as you embrace a Goddess that will never require you to kill on her behalf, or engage in any sort of psychotic or otherwise evil activity!
    As followers, our rules are simple: We shall all embrace life,nourish our planet and aid our fellow man and woman as best as we can!


    "Aset, the Great, God's Mother, Lady of Philae, Giver of Life."


    http://www.per-aset.org/Domain_of_Aset.html


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  22. sandy Banned Banned

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    7,926
    I would rather live one day as a born-again Christian with Jesus than a lifetime
    without Him.
     
  23. SnakeLord snakeystew.com Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,758
    Do you:

    1) Consider god omniscient?

    2) Consider jesus to be god?

    I bet top dollar you answered yes to both the above..

    Let's take a look...

    Matthew 24:36
    "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father..”

    As you can see here, according to jesus' own words, he is not omniscient and thus - by your own definition, not god.

    The same can be done with every other attribute you'd place on god, (omnipresence/omnipotence etc).

    3) Was there ever a time when god was not perfect?

    I bet top dollar you say no, god has always been perfect.

    Let's take a look..

    "..Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek"

    Unlike god jesus wasn't perfect until made so by god. By this statement jesus can never be god.

    So who is Melchizedek? Mel features in both the OT and NT and is considered the high priest of god - but jesus gets given that role by god - not by himself, showing that he's not god..

    "Hebrews 5:4
    No one takes this honour upon himself; he must be called by God, just as Aaron was. 5So Christ also did not take upon himself the glory of becoming a high priest. But God said to him,
       "You are my Son;
         today I have become your Father.” And he says in another place,
       "You are a priest forever, in the order of Melchizedek."

    This shows beyond any argument that jesus is not god.

    ----

    There simply is no argument you can give to show that jesus is god. You're worshipping a priest of god, not god himself. In doing so you might as well be worshipping Melchizedek because he has the same rank as jesus.

    What a bunch of 'tards, don't even read your own bible.
     

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