Does anyone here find it ironic that the bullied console themselves by continually repeating: "Those bullies are really just weak cowards." When you look at such an ideology beyond the superficialities, you realize that it is far from comforting. What the victim is essentially saying is that they are living in fear of, and being dominated by, a 'weak coward'. If that is indeed true, doesn't that mean that a bullied individual is weaker and more cowardly than the weak coward victimizing them?
That's one thing that humans do really well ....make excuses for themselves and for others. The idea of taking responsibility for ones own seems to be a lost ideal for humans in today's world. Excuses, excuses, excuses! Murderers don't just murder anymore ...they're driven to it by some strange or odd something that happened to them years ago when they were young. Rapists don't just rape in today's world ...they're forced into doing it because of something that happened years ago. We humans must find some reason (read excuse!) for doing what we do ...because we don't want or can't take responsibility for our own actions. So if we blame others for, say murder, then it's leaving the door open to be blamed for our own actions ...and humans can't handle that! Humans are truly fucked up ...fucked up big time! Baron Max
but doesnt it take a stronger person to just walk away? my son was bullied and he was bullied badly, he stayed of school for 5 months and i faced prison because of the school policy and the bully, he was given a black eye, cracked ribs, my son just walked away and i was left facing school govenours and headteachers (who quite frankly have no idea what it is like in the real world, and somtimes they are just has bad has the bully) i was forced to move areas because of the school policy and social services because i was protecting my son, i was arrested and cautioned for not sending my son to a school that couldnt keep him safe.
lucifer: That's an over-simplification. If someone is wailing on you and consistently dominates you, it is NOT strong to tremble in fear and walk away. You're walking away out of cowardice, not because you're adhering to a 'grand plan'. However, if drunk stranger gives you a bit of lip in the pub, the smart thing to do is just to walk away. Why didn't he fight back? Did you teach him to be a god damn pussy? If so, can't you see how you've done your son a disservice? He's essentially going to be walked over for the rest of his life if he doesn't have an attitude change.
That's what we tell the weak who can't protect themselves ...just an excuse. We make excuses for their weakness instead of teaching them to stand up for themselves, to protect themselves. It's just another excuse like not blaming the kid or the parents because he's fat. Humans are soooooo good at making excuses for themselves or others. It's just another way of NOT taking responsibility for ones own actions. Your son: What are you teaching him about the big wide world when you overly protect him? Are you going to protect him all his life? And what about when you're gone? Baron Max
no i didnt teach my son to be a pussy, in fact i taught him to hit back, the reason he didnt was because one day he did and he got into trouble for it, there is no fairness with schools and teachers tehy are hypocrites, who have no idea what the real world is like.
hey baron, isnt it my job to protect him to a certain degree? yes i garee humans are so good at making excuses for each other, i could say taht the bully was a boy that had no father around and his mum let him do what he wanted when he wanted, but my dad left me and my sister when we were young and i am not a bully.
It's funny. I always remember this time when I was about 10 years old. The school bus used to have kids on it from the two primary schools in the local area, a Catholic School (of which I was a student), and a government school. The members of the Catholic School were outnumbered and dominated by the louts from the government school. Once, I was sitting at my own seat, minding my own god damn business, when one of the government schoolies (a regular little shit and 'wannabe' just shoves me hard against the wall. I pushed back, and he starts slapping my face?! Instinctively, I just started fucking wailing on him with my fists. His sister screamed to stop, so I stopped, and he started slapping me again! So I continued to hammer the moron. Anyway, he was crying, and I was dragged off the bus, and lectured by the principal of their school. Naturally, I was like "But he started it!" and they just ignored me. They didn't even drag the bastard out to scold him... they probably thought he was the 'victim'. I was shocked by the injustice of it all. My father was sort of proud, but when I happily told my mother about how I had defended myself against a rival, she pretty much was pissy at me. That event was probably the most confusing of my childhood. Here I was, getting wailed on by a rival. I fought back, he cried, and my actions were denounced by both the authorities, and my own blood line. I emerged a victor, and was villified for it. I still am slightly miffed by the response from my mother, she should have been pleased that her genetic material was capable of defending itself from rival filth. Sadly, that set up a trend of me avoiding fights, and turned me into a general pussy for the first half of high school. However, I now see that my reaction to that kid was justified.
Well, if that's true, then he's learning valuable lessons about the world that he'll one day be a part of. He got into trouble because a.) he was seen hitting the bully, or b.) he didn't learn to hide his actions. So ...he has to learn to take responsibility for those actions. As long as you don't teach him to be a weakling, a pussy, then he'll be better suited to survive in the world later. And in case you didn't know it, there are lots of hippo-critters out in the big world of grown-ups. Baron Max
lucifer: I do agree that your job is to protect your son, and it is admirable that you would risk your own freedom to teach your sons persecutors a thing or two. But your actions were wrong-headed. Your solution is only short term. When your son moves to another school, he will be picked on again. And then what... will you personally bash those bullies as well? Nothing is solved, and the bullies belief that your son is defenseless is vindicated, as he needed Daddy to come to his rescue. The only way to come out ahead is to teach your son self-defense and self-confidence, so that he can fight his way to the top of the pecking order. Teach him to fight with no mercy, to kick the bastards when they on the ground. To go for the eyes or balls. I suggest Judo (I've never actually done Judo, Taekwondo instead. I always wished my parents had enrolled me up for Judo, which is much more practical for self-defense). Big deal. Fuck the schools, they can't do shit. "Oooh, don't suspend me, big master." Suspensions mean jack all. The only reason kids fear school punishments is because their parents make their lives hell. Tell your son that if he gets suspended for defending himself, you won't give a shit, and will in fact take him out for Chinese food as a reward. It's important that you son learns to fight back, and not end up being walked over. I look back on my school years with some regret, wishing at times that I had made a stand.
we moved schools and areas and he has landed in a really good school, i am not saying that bullieing doesnt happen because it does, but his new school is excellent, he has had no problems at all, and his school work is now A's
Lucifer, I'm happy to hear that. It's important that your child feels good about himself while growing up, or he'll turn into a depressed, miserable adult. I recommend that if the same thing happen again, that you teach him how to fight back.
I concur with mountainhare on this. You must fight, and if they insult or berait you just ignore them, tell them how wrong they are... but when all else fails say "You know he started it, he attacked me, I was merely defending myself... so if you have a problem with that let's see how easily you villify me in court." Then look at them wide-eyed... say "That's right, because I like causing adults trouble, especially ones like you, and I'm certain there's a lawyer somewhere who'd love to get money out of the school district and possibly you." That should shut them up, people are afraid of law because when they violate it they KNOW instinctively... so thus if you fought in defense it's your right as an individual and human. Say that and if they aren't taking you seriously goto the ACLU or call a law office, explain the situation... a young kid getting beat on puts up a fight, I can see the headlines now... I would've done that if I were smarter back then.
In the "fight back" scene, what do you do about the bully who really is bigger and stronger and will win all those fights - and actually hurt the victims, physically? If a school coddles a bully, and the victims are blamed for not fighting back, who pays the dental bills when they do? The bully who is not corrected, who is allowed to bully the weaker, is being just as badly raised as someone blamed for fighting back. Blaming victims for being bullied overlooks the necessity of blaming bullies -and doing something about them. They're going to be pretty worthless adults, if allowed down that road.
It is ironic, but it gives reason to hope, that even of you are physically weaker, you can be brave and call the bully's bluff by attacking. They don't expect to be resisted.
You learn to fight bigger, stronger guys using method and techniques designed for such fights. Corrected by whom? One thing that bullies are always good at is not getting caught bullying someone. But even if the bully is raised wrong, and is not to be blamed, does nothing for the kid who's being bullied! I don't blame the victims, and I don't think anyone else here is, either. But "the blame game" doesn't help the kid being bullied at all ...regardless of who's to blame. And there are bullies who are adults just the same as when they're little kids. Calling them worthless doesn't do a thing to help those being bullied. If a person can't learn to stand up for himself, he's in deep shit as an adult. If someone doesn't think enough of themselves to fight for their rights, why should anyone else think more of him than he does of himself? Baron Max
Yeah, one good punch or kick, then run like hell, is going to give the bully something to think about if he ever wants to bully you again. And he might! But if you don't fight for yourself, why should anyone else fight for you? Baron Max
if my child gets bullied he will have t whoop his ass, or its extra training when he gets home, if my child cannot beat up the bully with his bare hands then i will hand him a weapon to finish the job. "i dont care if he is 5 years older than you son, he just dissed your mother go and brake his balls, show that mother fucker that nobody fucks with you." Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! nah seriously if you whoop a bullies ass he wont bully you anymore, so what if you have to use a bo staff or pair of sais to do it, my child will be taught never to start fights or pick on people, but if somebody wants it let them have it, rule number 1, never turn your back on an enemy if they are still standing, you will leave yourself open to a sneak attack. knock his ass out if you think they are a threat, then turn your back and walk away when they are laying on the floor in a pool of there own blood. peace.
