Cryptozoologic Breakthrough:Hell-dog

Discussion in 'Pseudoscience Archive' started by Lawdog, Aug 18, 2006.

  1. Lawdog Digging up old bones Registered Senior Member

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    Hell-beast discovered

    Okay top notch scientists and biologists...explain this creature.
    What in the heck is it?

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    August 16, 2006

    TURNER, Maine --Residents are wondering if an animal found dead over the weekend may be the mysterious creature that has mauled dogs, frightened residents and been the subject of local legend for half a generation.

    The animal was found near power lines along Route 4 on Saturday, apparently struck by a car while chasing a cat. The carcass was photographed and inspected by several people who live in the area, but nobody is sure exactly what it is.

    Michelle O'Donnell of Turner spotted the animal near her yard about a week before it was killed. She called it a "hybrid mutant of something."

    "It was evil, evil looking. And it had a horrible stench I will never forget," she told the Sun Journal of Lewiston. "We locked eyes for a few seconds and then it took off. I've lived in Maine my whole life and I've never seen anything like it."

    For the past 15 years, residents across Androscoggin County have reported seeing and hearing a mysterious animal with chilling monstrous cries and eyes that glow in the night. The animal has been blamed for attacking and killing a Doberman pinscher and a Rottweiler the past couple of years.

    People from Litchfield, Sabattus, Greene, Turner, Lewiston and Auburn have come forward to speak of a mystery monster that roams the woods. Nobody knows for sure what it is, and theories have ranged from a hyena or dingo to a fisher or coydog, an offspring of a coyote and a wild dog.

    Now, people are asking if the mystery beast and the animal killed over the weekend are one and the same.

    Wildlife officials and animal control officers declined to go to Turner to examine the remains. By Tuesday, the carcass had been picked clean by vultures and there was not much left of the dead animal.

    Loren Coleman, a Portland author and cryptozoologist, said it's unlikely that the animal was anybody's pet.

    After reviewing photos of the carcass, Coleman said he was bothered by the animal's ears and snout. It reminded him of a case years ago in northern Maine in which an animal shot by a hunter could not be identified. In the end, wildlife officials got a DNA analysis that showed the animal was a rare wolf-dog hybrid, he said.

    Mike O'Donnell, who is married to Michelle O'Donnell, said the animal looked "half-rodent, half-dog" to him.

    It was charcoal gray, weighed between 40 and 50 pounds and had a bushy tail, a short snout, short ears and curled fangs hanging over its lips, he said. It looked like "something out of a Stephen King story."

    "This is something I've never seen before. It's an evil-looking thing," he said.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2006
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  3. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Looks like a dog to me.
     
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  5. Lawdog Digging up old bones Registered Senior Member

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    With a blue coat? Rationalist expanations. It probably was somekind of demon dog.
     
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  7. Lawdog Digging up old bones Registered Senior Member

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    ice
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2006
  8. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Threads merged.
     
  9. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    That's a lighting effect. Try photographing a black, furry animal in bright sunlight.
     
  10. Lawdog Digging up old bones Registered Senior Member

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    Ok, but thats no dog like Ive ever seen.
     
  11. Squeak22 4th Level Human Registered Senior Member

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    There are lots of blue colored dogs. Anything you think is "grey" is actually "blue" in a animal. What you are probably seeing is a grey puppy. They always look more blue than the older dogs.
     
  12. Ophiolite Valued Senior Member

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    I had a Kerry Blue when I was young.

    Try to get out more. The fresh air will do you good.
     
  13. redarmy11 Registered Senior Member

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    Well, it looks like a dog, he says uncertainly.

    But if Squeak22 is right and it's a puppy... be very, very frightened.
     
  14. Lawdog Digging up old bones Registered Senior Member

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    Would you let that puppy in your house? On your couch?
    Would you trust it around your children?
     
  15. JoojooSpaceape Burn in hell Hippies Registered Senior Member

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  16. redarmy11 Registered Senior Member

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    Funnily enough, I was thinking this. God, I hate being right all the time.

    Sorry for taking His name in vain, Lawdog.
     
  17. Lawdog Digging up old bones Registered Senior Member

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    Another Rationalist cover up:
    People are afraid of crossing the comfort zone.
    If it were discovered that the beast had crawled up from the hollow earth,
    the whole military-industrial-femininazi-neopagan-pseudo-scientifico-idealist-deathtech-antichrist system would be called into question:

    That must not happen.



    PS. Dont be sorry to me. You know who to be sorry to.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2006
  18. phlogistician Banned Banned

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    I have two dogs and they are unlike anything most people have seen, because I get stopped and asked;

    "What breed are they, they are very handsome' all the time, when all they are, is a good cross.

    Next I fancy a cross with blue eyes, pref with a shaggy grey and white coat, so probably half shepherd, half sheepdog to get a wolf looking, but domesticated animal. Although blue coat with blue eyes would be nice too.
     
  19. redarmy11 Registered Senior Member

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    Ah, but I don't believe in Him.

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    I was apologising to you because you do.
    Damn, I should have just edited out the reference.
    Can I have 8 million similar future offences taken into account?

    PS How can the results of DNA analysis be dismissed as a rationalisation? I'm assuming that this part of the story is accurate, of course.
     
  20. Lawdog Digging up old bones Registered Senior Member

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    Its a cover up. Are you so gulable?
     
  21. Ophiolite Valued Senior Member

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    I am really disappointed that the signature option has been disabled.

    Signature: military-industrial-femininazi-neopagan-pseudo-scientifico-idealist-deathtech-antichrist
     
  22. redarmy11 Registered Senior Member

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    OK, so let me guess: this creature is from the depths of the Hollow Earth aka Hell - a single-headed Cerberus that signifies the imminent arrival of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse?
     
  23. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

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    It would be unscientific for anyone unfamiliar with canine or mammilian taxonomy in general to make any definitive statements about this animal, especially from a single picture.
     

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