top ten signs you're a xian

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by geeser, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. geeser Atheism:is non-prophet making Valued Senior Member

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    10- You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

    9- You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt

    8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god

    7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!

    6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

    5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.

    4- You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".

    3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to prove Christianity.

    2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

    1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a Christian
     
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  3. Cottontop3000 Death Beckoned Registered Senior Member

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    Nice geeser. LOL.
     
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  5. TheVisitor The Journey is the Reward Registered Senior Member

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    Gesser should maybe lay off the sauce....
    "Fools tred with hobnailed shoes, where angels fear to trod"

    He just about tred-ed on everybody with that last one......any for what gain...?
    I have to consider the source by past posts.
     
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  7. Cottontop3000 Death Beckoned Registered Senior Member

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    Maybe you should lay off the god for a while, TheVisitor.
     
  8. Lerxst I love Natalie Portman Registered Senior Member

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    In response to number 5, not all Christians are creationists. It is not fair to lump them all together. Even the catholic church understands that evolution occured.
     
  9. Hapsburg Hellenistic polytheist Valued Senior Member

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    Yeah, but Catholics don't give a shit about anything anymore.
     
  10. Kunax Sciforums:Reality not required Registered Senior Member

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    7. Your face turns purple when you hear....... groups in "Joshua" -- including women, children, and trees!


    trees? as in those big green things often found in forests?
     
  11. TheVisitor The Journey is the Reward Registered Senior Member

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    Touched a nerve eh...?
    I just thought "gesser".... "sauce"...a little pun there.
    Some people think what....God don't have a sense of humor....?
    But heh, if you want to change the topic, maybe cottontop could come up with something more interesting.
    Be my guest...
     
  12. Cottontop3000 Death Beckoned Registered Senior Member

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    Not interested.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

    It's "geeser," by the way, not gesser.
     
  13. catholicism is so riddled with historically documented fault and deception that at this point they are just milking the vaticans money chest for all its worth before their churches sink into the ground and their sect falls by the wayside like so many other forgotten belief systems.
     
  14. Lerxst I love Natalie Portman Registered Senior Member

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    Yeah, I'd basically agree with that.

    It doesn't change the fact that not all Christians are creationsists.

    In fact, the best popular book I ever read on evolution was written by Brown University professor Kenneth Miller, Finding Darwin's God. Miller is a Christian. That doesn't stop him from being a good scientist, or from ripping ID proponents like Michael Behe a new asshole.

    So let's just drop the ridiculous idea that to be a Christian you have to take Genesis literally.
     
  15. yeah, but isnt there something about that that doesnt sit right with you? because there is with me. if you can claim to be a christian, yet choose to disregard whole sections of the bible or reject any pieces of religious doctrine that you dont like, what stops you from reading all kinds fo ridiculous things into the bible and using selected bits of dogma to justify nearly any action that you feel like taking? the point here is that if you believe in a religion, you take it as a whole, accept its premise, accept its tenets, believe in the ideas and explanations that it provides. you cant say "oh well, yeah im christian, except for that genesis part and a couple of verses in deutoronomy and leviticus, cause thats all bullshit, but everything else is right on". that basically means that you are picking and choosing what you do and dont like about it and supporting the right of ther members of your sect to do the same thing. that is of course, until some serial killer pops up and starts killing people based on commands put forth in the bible, then that shit is all very not ok anymore right? yeah, right.
     
  16. geeser Atheism:is non-prophet making Valued Senior Member

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    FIG, read your bible.
     
  17. the preacher fur is loose 666 Registered Senior Member

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    then which one of the 34,000 different sect of xianity do we label creationists.
    please devine a xian.
    we can only generalise, the xians beliefs are far to complicated and irrational, for any rational person to devine.
     
  18. Lerxst I love Natalie Portman Registered Senior Member

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    Sure, the bible is full of all kinds of crap. Anyone with an ounce of humanity will reject the mandates to kill adulteres and so on. Cannot dispute that. But there is also some good stuff in there. I think any rational person, picking up the bible, needs to parse it - just like how Jefferson rewrote the NT and removed all references to Jesus' divinity. And the fact that we must take the moral high ground over some book of "thou shalts" - does that exempt us from being followers of that religion? Because we don't accept every word? I don't think so.

    So the question is, if I take the bible, select only the good parts and follow those, do I have the right to call myself a Christian? I can see why you would say "no" but I also think there is a case for "yes" - if my goal is to merely emulate Christ and follow his teachings, I think it is acceptable to label myself as one. Did Jesus ever endorse the bible as a whole? I honestly don't know. He certainly didn't write any of it. To me the essence of Christianity lies in doing what Christ said - which is basically pretty simple. There are several core actions and beliefs. I don't see how being selective about certain archaic passages disqualifies you from following his basic moral code, etc...

    I'm sure that I am preaching to the choir when I say that people need to read these religious texts and only follow the good parts. If it were that easy, we wouldn't have the religious strife.
     
  19. iam Banned Banned

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    So please explain, who is a christian? Whatever they decide to be? Whatever they say they are? There are so many sects of christianity because they can't even agree amongst eachother. You mean how they arbitrarily pick and choose ideology and interpretation. Yeah sure, I can take that seriously. Not.
     
  20. Lerxst I love Natalie Portman Registered Senior Member

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    There is a wide spectrum of christians. Clearly, a Baptist who holds to biblical inerrancy is a christian. But I'd also say that a Unitarian that tries to emulate Christ in his actions but is otherwise a humanist sort is still a type of Christian.

    This is why we have adjectives to break up this very large class of persons into fundamentalist, liberal, moderate, etc. It is way too big a group to think that they can be painted with one big brush.

    I'd have no issue with number 5 in geeser's list if the title was "Top ten signs you are a fundamentalist xian."
     
  21. iam Banned Banned

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    You're being ridiculous. The logo christianity stands for a set of fundamental precepts. That is like you rejecting some precepts of the KKK and still calling yourself a klansmen. Just because you label yourself something does not make it so. Anyone can take a book and glean what they chose to follow or agree with. I am not a christian just because I live by some morals or codes which happen to also be the same or similar to those written in the bible. I'm sure there are those christians who would claim that you were not a true christian and their the circus begins. Anyway, you would stand with those who are "christian" but may believe in slavery, oppression of different races, classes, mysogyny, religious intolerance and bigotry? Well, if you end up in the same heaven, I suggest you watch your back amongst your fellow christians.
     
  22. Lerxst I love Natalie Portman Registered Senior Member

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    First, I'm not a christian, or a theist for that matter. I do not claim to speak for any of them.

    And I don't think I am being ridiculous at all. There are a great many people who are referred to as Christians who also are selective about what parts of the bible that they will treat seriously and which parts that they will object to. It is common usage to still refer to such folks as Christians, not just something I came up with.

    I'll give you a concrete example: Rev. John Shelby Spong. The man is a bishop of the Episcopal Church. It is pretty tough to call him a non-Christan. Yet he has written a number of (quite good) books that attack biblical literalism and fundamentalism such as the aptly named The Sins of Scriptiure. In fact, most atheists would agree with much of what this guy writes about the bible.

    More on Spong from Wiki.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Shelby_Spong
     
  23. iam Banned Banned

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    Yes, but still that is his own interpretation as well. That is really not the issue, is it? Because christians believe the bible is the word of god. Thier god and claim the only true god. Jesus christ, the son of god. The only way to salvation or all is damned. That is christianity. Rev. Shelby may attack bible literalism but he is still an intolerant religionist whether he admits it or not and is a theist.
     

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