A friend from California just sent me this in an email... "Dear Red States: We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California. To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sisters schools, plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico. Sincerely, Author Unknown in New California."
Yeah, right. Like we're all going to take on the name of New California. Only a California egomaniac would think that idea is kosher. There was a map around here somewhere... wonder if I could find it? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I don't like either of these, really. I take it the first one must be a right-wing map. Snobberia. Oooh. That's imaginative. Why didn't they just call us the heathen wastelands? Heh. And the other one... Well. California should rightly belong to Mexico, but I sure as hell don't want to be Canadian, eh. No. That won't do.
I like the second one. Alaska is Alaska. Sweeeet. Alaska would never be locked together with Jesusland, were their civil unrest. Too many bush hippies and libertarians. Actually, there was, and still is, an Alaska Independence party, who want's Alaska to be it's own nation.
Shit. Yeah, right, Coffee. If a split like that were made, there'd be a wire hanger shortage in the 'blue' states because they'd all be in the back alley abortion clinics in the 'red' states. 'Blue' state abortions would all be nice and clean and hygenic in clinics outfitted with 21st century technology and know how. And you 'red' state bastards couldn't even use the stem cells from those procedures. Instead, you'd just waste all that fetus flesh feeding your alley cats. Praise, Jesus.
Well, I'm glad I'll never have to get an abortion. But as for my cousin that I just knocked up... Because ya know, I'm from a backwards red state.... I live in the blue part of my state.
Typical. Another sore southron that no one can take seriously because he talks like he's an inbred redneck.
Well, we can make fun of it, I suppose. But I think this is what the world is going to become ...sooner or later. All over the world, this exact sentiment is being expressed by the people of nations. The people want a say in how their OWN society is to be ruled/controlled, not be a bunch of professional politicians 2,000miles away! The idea, the principle of "society" is becoming less about ALL humans and more about MY family and friends. And perhaps it's more apt. Baron Max
You wouldn't know, what with you not being like that at all... "I just don't give a fuck about the clubbing of the seals. They do nothing for me ...one way or the other. If seals were all gone, nothing would change in my life - good or bad." " No, just use what we want, eat what we want, shoot what we want ....and if one species can't take the heat, fuck 'em. "
Wow jlocke, maybe you should reread for comprehension? Baron Max is championing grassroots tribalism. Nowhere does that conflict with his unconcern for wildlife. Sorry mate. Max, I think you are really quite wrong, though it'd be nice if you were right. But it's simple economics, really. Countries that dissolve into civil anarchy will easy be gobbled up by bigger, hungrier and more organized nations. A man with a pointy stick isn't that dangerous to a bear. Ten men with pointy sticks are. Anarchists and the like will pretty much always lose to the Imperialists. Everywhere in history you can see this.
I see. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll reexamine my views on the subject when I have a little more time... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! JLocke
screw you. Someone please first clean NYC City subways...they are in a mess! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Well, perhaps. But those "organized nations" just might be in civil disorder, too! If they are, then they won't be "gobbling up" anything. And I'm not "championing" anarchy, I'm just seeing that occuring more and more all over the world ...even as we speak! Can you name a country in the world that doesn't have it's own civil issues and problems? Many "organized nations" seem on the brink of civil war and/or civil disobedience right now. Baron Max
Switzerland, I know you are just proving a point (and I would have to agree) but I bring it up because I love Switzerland. <--It's probably because they are neutral and don't run off to war ever two seconds. They are more calm. JLocke
Max, My goodness. You could spout that out at anytime in the past 7,000, and have someone agree with you. Just because a country has 'civil issues' doesn't mean there will be a systemic crash. I think countries have had 'civil issues' for ever and ever, and they get over them! Besides that, look at Europe. They are becoming more organized, what with the EU and a unified currency and relaxed labor laws. While there are bouts of chaos, yes, order always seems to win, as it has the structure to win. Let's say, for some reason, the ENTIRE world just collapses into civil anarchy. Maybe a combination of plagues, wars, economic collapses, environmental disasters, oil depeletion and zombie attacks break every nation. The individuals that surivive will be the ones that team up. This is how unions work, this is how armies and factories work. Organization benefits the individual as it allows him to achieve things that he would never had achieved had he decided not to cooperate. Cooperation is almost always out of self interest. For that reason, it will be in every individuals self interest to see that their organization survives. But let's back up. Right now the world is in chaos. Through luck or genetics or whatever, there will be people who decide to organize. Those who organize will easily destroy, assimilate or conquer those who haven't organized. The ones who are organized best will defeat the ones not so organized. Eventually, we'll end right back where we started, with big governments. Thus is human history.
