View Poll Results: Wipe standing or sitting?

Voters
46. This poll is closed
  • Standing

    14 30.43%
  • Sitting

    31 67.39%
  • Other (You HAVE to explain THAT answer)

    1 2.17%
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Thread: Wiping after "Number 2"

  1. #1

    Wiping after "Number 2"

    After you take a crap, do you wipe while still sitting on the toilet bowl, or do you stand first and wipe standing up?

    I know this sounds stupid, but I am really curious, not just spamming.

  2. #2
    Registered Loser buffys's Avatar
    Posts
    1,624
    yes, it does sound stupid.

    I have trained chimps to do my wiping, I usually crumple them up and thow them away after. Oh, to your question I'm neither standing nor sitting. Four of the chimps lift me off the toilet while one wipes using it's own fur (that's the one I throw away).

  3. #3
    Why do you think it sounds stupid?
    Because you think the answer is obvious and everyone does it the same?
    Because it's too personal of a question to ask?
    Because you assume I'm trying to be silly and immature?
    Another reason?

  4. #4
    Yes it does sound stupid, however I am aware of people who do stand to wipe their ass. Strange but true.

    Which do you do, Raven?

    I do it while sitting by the way...

    And speaking of wiping, another interesting thing about wiping is direction. I've heard that you have to teach girls to wipe front to back to keep any feces away from their hoo-ha's which might cause infection. I never considered that before until a single father friend of mine told me about raising his daughter. That must be awkward pushing backwards rather than pulling forwards. Unless you scooch up on the seat and reach around behind you to wipe. I bet some people do that too.

    An infinity of wiping methods abound.

  5. #5
    Registered Loser buffys's Avatar
    Posts
    1,624
    Quote Originally Posted by one_raven
    ...Because you assume I'm trying to be silly and immature?
    combine that choice with a desperate need to get a response and... yup, that sums it up reasonably well.

    EDIT:
    Quote Originally Posted by invert_nexus
    And speaking of wiping, another interesting thing about wiping is direction.
    my chimps are ambidextrous.
    Last edited by buffys; 08-31-04 at 03:50 AM.

  6. #6
    What are you talking about?
    Where do I display a "desperate need to get a reponse"?

    Regardless of how it comes off, I am not being immature or trying to elicit some kind of reaction.
    It is a serious question that I'm geniunely curious about.
    Why is that hard to believe?

  7. #7
    Registered Loser buffys's Avatar
    Posts
    1,624
    lol

  8. #8
    Whatever.
    Believe what you want to believe.

  9. #9
    Wow. Two standup wipers to my one sit-down. Freakin' weirdos. I notice they didn't post to admit who they are. I wonder if they look at it in the mirror while they do it?

    Edit: Just had a thought. Isn't the bodet popular in Europe? Getting a "pleasing" jet of water shot at your cornhole? Would that count as standing up or sitting down? You'd have to stand to move from toilet to bodet. But, you sit on the bodet right? I've never used one. I'd think it'd be somewhat weird. Then you'd have to spend a lot of time drying your ass afterwards instead of just wiping.

  10. #10
    Unnecessary Surgeon Dr Lou Natic's Avatar
    Posts
    5,571
    So you wipe back to front invert? I should have known. Wiping back to front is a good way to get your ass kicked around here. Same with wiping while standing up.

    I don't see whats so hard to accept about this thread. This same topic came up a few times in high school. And as I alluded to earlier, coming up with the wrong answer could bring devestating consequences. We took it very seriously.

  11. #11
    So you wipe front to back, Lou? Now that really figures. You wipe like a girl. Don't want to get no shit in your vag, might get a nasty infection.

    I've never understood the stand-uppers. Freaks, I calls em.

  12. #12
    Wipe my ass? What for? What do you think those spineless asslickers are for?

  13. #13
    I am unaware of ppl that stand to wipe. Has this behavior been observed? It makes no sense to me. Butt cheeks enclose the area needing wiped when standing. Doing it sitting is the obvious way to do it.

    Now if I could just get my 2 year old to wipe....(while sitting of course)

  14. #14
    i used to stand when i was younger, but now i sit.
    I also wipe from my isny to past my sheriffs badge.
    Lets make it interesting, how many times do you wipe? how many squres do you use? do you use andrex moist toilet tissue wipes? (they are the business)

  15. #15
    I use a lot of TP. I always double it up even if its double or triple ply. I want to make sure I dont get a tear and have shite on the fingers. I know I also wipe more than other ppl because I take alot longer. I wipe until their is NO trace of brown left. I make sure its clean as a whistle! Its probably the one thing I am anal about (no pun intended).

  16. #16
    I use the cheapest toilet paper I can find. Why? Easy, it is cheap.

  17. #17
    newspapers, best really scratches your arse, lovely.
    it also help you, to leave skidmarks in you pants.

  18. #18
    Well, I do think that the ink of newspapers could leave marks on your ass too.

  19. #19
    Yes. Newspaper leaves a black ring around your sphincter. I know all about this. For instance, when poor and resorting to such tactics and then when getting real toilet paper to wipe with the ink comes off. (This of course means you wiped with newspaper then toilet paper with no bath or shower in between. )

    Do you look at the paper before you drop it in the water? Do you stand up and look at your shit there in the bowl and bask in the warm glow that you really created something special before sending it off to be processed?

    You know, I just shit earlier and noticed something that I notice quite often actually. Sometimes you shit out several turds right? Some of these turds sink and some float. All from the same food. Same batch. Yet, their characteristics are different.

    And who hasn't marveled at the amount of corn that passes through the digestive tract unscathed? Even if you fully chew your corn before swallowing, it seems that your digestive tract goes through the trouble of reassembling it before sending it out door number two.

  20. #20
    Holy shit! This thread is about shit! Fuck, what is everyone doing here talkin' about this?! Aren't there other, more intelligent threads? Don't ya have anything better to do than share with us how ya wipe yer ass?

    OMFG!

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