The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

[Steve100]

Bottom of what?

[Nickelodeon]

this.

[Nickelodeon]

By the way, my town probably supplies half of your country with lumber.

lol so?

[The Flemster]

Can't we just all be friends...?

Stop the transatlantic bitchfest and get to telling jokes, you bunch of fucking pansies.

(Superplumber, really good set of gags, btw!)

[geraint4]

what's the definition of a canadian??

an unarmed american with healthcare!


not THAT offensive but funny

[Spud Emperor]

Bottom of what?

Errrr...whose lovechild you are.
Thought that was fairly clear.

I'm leaning towards Mel Brooks and Lucille Ball just at the moment.

[geraint4]

Those are not only racist jokes but retarded racist jokes!...Get a new joke book you nerd?

shut up you cunt

[Steve100]

How do you tell when a Paki's lying?
His lips move.

[toltec]

My grandfather died at Auschwitz.............


........... He laughed so much he fell out of the watchtower.

[TimWalden]

West Yorkshire police have been questioning Shannon Matthews' mum. Not about how and why Shannon disappeared, but how the fuck she got 5 different men to shag her

[TimWalden]

I asked my wife her honest view on sexist jokes.

She was too busy cooking though

I was gonna ask a copper his honest view on racist jokes, but he was too busy being raped by a black man

[TimWalden]

What do you call a french man eating frogs legs?

Cannibal

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Why cant french men eat more than 1 egg?

Coz 1 egg is an oeuf

[l_teddy10]

yeah, I can completely sympathize with you l_teddy10, the most offensive thing in the example you used is the grammar!

Anyway, I should stop bitching and start posting!!

Mike Tyson goes into an Irish bar in New York and shouts "I'm worth $23m and I only fuck white women".

Paddy goes upto him, whispers in his ear and Tyson knocks him out... The barman picks Paddy up, brings him round and says: "What the fuck did you say to him?"

Paddy says: "If I had $23m, I wouldn't fuck niggers either!"

Fuck off homo.

[Ant]

yeah, I probably should fuck off, before you start threatening me with your lumber talk as well.

[shichimenshyo]

How come all of you people just hang out in the cesspool?

[The Flemster]

Why not?
Climb down off your moral high horse and try enjoying yourself.

[Ambrocious]

jesus christ, letting the quality drop much? go back to telling some truly offenrive jokes.

[whizzo]

A man was driving at 90mph. A police man saw this and pulled him over. The police man came up to the driver and the driver kept saying 21 today 21 today 21 today.the police man said he'd let him off with a warning since he was 21 today. The driver then speed off and ran over a black man the driver then started saying 22 today 22 today 22today!

[whizzo]

True story. A radio station in Ireland was running a competition - words that were'nt in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
DJ: "96fm here, whats your name?"
caller:" Hi, me name's Dave"
DJ:"Dave, what's your word?"
caller:"Goan... spelt G-O-A-N, pronounced go-an"
DJ:"... You're correct. Dave goan is not in the dictionary. Now for a trip to Bali: what sentence can you use that word in to make sense?"
caller:" goan fuck yourself"
The DJ cut the caller short and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
DJ:"96fm, what's your name?"
caller:" Hi, me name's Jeff"
DJ:" Jeff, what's your word?"
caller:" smee... spelt S-M-E-E, pronunced smee"
DJ:"... You're correct smee is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: what sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?"
caller:"Smee again! Goan fuck yourself!"

[PUP]

I was having sex with my girlfriend last night when she accused me of being
a paedophile,
I said thats a big word for an 8 year old.