Thread: The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

  1. #1181
    Unbelievable and odd curioucity's Avatar
    Posts
    2,429
    kaneda:

    Those jokes are epic win

    But I wonder if they're really that offensive, aside from the religious part..... maybe you'd like to put at least some of them in the normal Joke thread in Free Thoughts subforum?

  2. #1182
    My go:
    What is long, hard, and full of seamen?

    answer:
    a submarine, you idiot. (better if told aloud, so that sea men is the same as 'semen')

  3. #1183
    Police have ordered shops to remove all Muhammed teddy bears from sale.
    They don't want shopkeepers to make a prophet out of it all.

  4. #1184
    How do you make a baby drink?


    Put it in a blender.
    Last edited by The Flemster; 12-04-07 at 02:05 PM. Reason: found a way to make it more offensive!

  5. #1185
    camanach
    Guest

    Spies

    4 Spies are on the Orient Express.
    The first one says " I am American and a CIA agent".
    The second guy says"I am Russian and a KGB agent".
    The third guy says " I am British and a MI6 agent".
    The forth Guys says " I am a PAKI and a newsagent".

  6. #1186
    gpmasch
    Guest

    poem

    Quote Originally Posted by john smith View Post
    A Little Poem,

    One fine day in the middle of the night,
    Two nice men got up to fight,
    Back to back they faced each other,
    Drew their swords and shot each other.

    Hehehe, not offencive, but rather amusing dontcha think??
    one great day in the middle of the night
    two dead boys got up to fight
    one was blind, the other couldn't see
    they used a dummy for a referee
    back to back, they faced each other
    drew their swords and shot each other
    a deaf policeman heard the noise
    and came and shot the two dead boys

  7. #1187
    flaming moe
    Guest

    Princess

    I went out with a girl last week, she told me she wanted to be 'treated like a Princess'

    So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove it into a wall.

  8. #1188
    flaming moe
    Guest
    Ms. Gibson the teacher pardoned by the Sudanese Government was on the plane back to Heathrow. She told friends she couldn't wait to get home as prison was awful and she wanted to get to her own bed with her own cuddly toys.

    Thick Mick the leprechaun, chinky the geisha doll, n1gger the black doll and sambo the golliwog.

  9. #1189
    What's black and doesn't work?


    Half of London.

  10. #1190
    camanach
    Guest
    A Daughter asks her Father if she can borrow his car.
    "Sure",said the Father."You know the score. You give me a blow job and you can borrow the car".
    "Ah Dad" said the Girl but she knew she would have to bow to his demands because she really needed the car.
    She therefore undid his flies and got his penis out.
    She put it in her mouth but immediately withdrew her lips and screamed "Dad ! Your prick is covered in Shit".
    "Oh I forgot" said the Father,"You're Brother's got the car".

  11. #1191
    Tray
    Guest
    There's a nun on a bus, and a hippie gets one. He eys her up and after a while he asks her for sex. The nun kindly replied no and explain how she can't as she is "married to God". So the hippie leaves her alone. The nun gets off the buus and the hippie gets off at the next stop. The bus driver stops him as he gets off and says "Hey mate, I know how you can get that nun to have sex with you! Go to the graveyard at midnight, she'll be there. All you have to do is dress up as God, snd command her to have sex with you."
    The hippie gets off the bus feeling a lot happier and sure enough at midnight he turns up to the graveyard dressed as God and the nun is there. In a deep booming voice he says "I command you to have sex with me!" "Okay," replies the nun, "But could you give me anal so I don't lose my virginity?" The hippie agrees. So they finish and afterwards the hippie rips his mask off and yells "Hahaha I'm the hippie!" The nun rips off her mask and yells, "Haha I'm the bus driver!"

    Thankyou =)

    And hello everyone!

  12. #1192
    cpbrown
    Guest
    What's pink and smells like holly?

    Ian Huntley's penis


    :P

  13. #1193
    Unfiltered perspective... saudade's Avatar
    Posts
    113
    Why don't women need driver's liscences?

    There's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.

    Why do women have small feet?

    So they can stand closer to the sink.

  14. #1194
    bigfish
    Guest

    Funniest Joke

    Tesco van driver falls asleep at the wheel,mounts the pavement and knocks over a couple of pakis who unfortunately die.




    Every Little Helps.

  15. #1195
    Dyslexics of the World UNTIE!!!

  16. #1196
    same shit, differant day!! lucifers angel's Avatar
    Posts
    7,598
    what the differance between, Australia and Yoghurt?

    one has a culture and the other is Australia.

  17. #1197
    Quote Originally Posted by lucifers angel View Post
    what the differance between, Australia and Yoghurt?

    one has a culture and the other is Australia.
    I usually hear that one about the US, but I suppose it works

  18. #1198
    mikkyD
    Guest
    Just a few aussie jokes

    Q.What do you do if you see a coon with half a face
    A.Reload


    Retards are like slinkies... Totally fuking useless and you cant help but smile when they fall down stairs.

    Q.What do virginia tech and mt everest have in common,
    A.they're both minus 32 and have a killer slope.

    Steve Irwan should have worn sun block... to protect him from all the harmful rays.

    Q.What are the four most difficult years for a coon
    A.grade 6

    Q.Whats long black and stinky
    A.the unimployment line

    Q.Why do black fellas stink
    A. so the blind can hate them too

    How bout some woman jokes

    Q. Why shouldnt women drive
    A. Because theres no road between the kitchen and bedroom

    Q. Why are wedding dresses white
    A. Because all good appliances come in white

    Q. how many men dose it take to change a lightbulb
    A. none... the bitch can cook in the dark

    Q. Why dont women wear watches
    A. Cause theres a clock on the stove

    Q. Why do women fake orgasms
    A. Cause they think men care

    Q. How many men dose it take to open a beer
    A. None it should be open when she brings it to him

    Susan Sarandon... Hahahaha

    Thats about all i got

  19. #1199
    mikkyD
    Guest
    Q.Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive
    A.Because she was a woman

  20. #1200

    Cowards!!!!!!! If you're going to be offensive, be OFFENSIVE!!

    Here are some humdingers for your monkey asses:

    Q:Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
    A:Because he's black.

    Q:What do you get when you stab an infant?
    A:An erection.

    Q:What's the difference between a pile of dead hookers and a Cadillac?
    A:There's no Cadillac in my garage.

    Q:What does a toddler smell like cooking in an oven?
    Aon't know. I was too busy beating off.

    Q:What's black and blue and hates sex?
    A:The 4 year old in my closet.

    Q:What's the useless skin around the vagina called?
    A:The woman.

    Q:What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
    A:You don't cum on a apple before you eat it.

    Q:What did the Puerto Rican get for Christmas?
    A:My bike.

    Q:Why are Japanese people's eyes slanted?
    A:The blast.


    And those are just a few.................

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