Unbelievable and odd
Those jokes are epic win
But I wonder if they're really that offensive, aside from the religious part..... maybe you'd like to put at least some of them in the normal Joke thread in Free Thoughts subforum?
What is long, hard, and full of seamen?
a submarine, you idiot. (better if told aloud, so that sea men is the same as 'semen')
Police have ordered shops to remove all Muhammed teddy bears from sale.
They don't want shopkeepers to make a prophet out of it all.
How do you make a baby drink?
Put it in a blender.
Last edited by The Flemster; 12-04-07 at 03:05 PM.
Reason: found a way to make it more offensive!
4 Spies are on the Orient Express.
The first one says " I am American and a CIA agent".
The second guy says"I am Russian and a KGB agent".
The third guy says " I am British and a MI6 agent".
The forth Guys says " I am a PAKI and a newsagent".
one great day in the middle of the night
Originally Posted by john smith
two dead boys got up to fight
one was blind, the other couldn't see
they used a dummy for a referee
back to back, they faced each other
drew their swords and shot each other
a deaf policeman heard the noise
and came and shot the two dead boys
I went out with a girl last week, she told me she wanted to be 'treated like a Princess'
So I put her in the back of a Mercedes and drove it into a wall.
Ms. Gibson the teacher pardoned by the Sudanese Government was on the plane back to Heathrow. She told friends she couldn't wait to get home as prison was awful and she wanted to get to her own bed with her own cuddly toys.
Thick Mick the leprechaun, chinky the geisha doll, n1gger the black doll and sambo the golliwog.
What's black and doesn't work?
Half of London.
A Daughter asks her Father if she can borrow his car.
"Sure",said the Father."You know the score. You give me a blow job and you can borrow the car".
"Ah Dad" said the Girl but she knew she would have to bow to his demands because she really needed the car.
She therefore undid his flies and got his penis out.
She put it in her mouth but immediately withdrew her lips and screamed "Dad ! Your prick is covered in Shit".
"Oh I forgot" said the Father,"You're Brother's got the car".
There's a nun on a bus, and a hippie gets one. He eys her up and after a while he asks her for sex. The nun kindly replied no and explain how she can't as she is "married to God". So the hippie leaves her alone. The nun gets off the buus and the hippie gets off at the next stop. The bus driver stops him as he gets off and says "Hey mate, I know how you can get that nun to have sex with you! Go to the graveyard at midnight, she'll be there. All you have to do is dress up as God, snd command her to have sex with you."
The hippie gets off the bus feeling a lot happier and sure enough at midnight he turns up to the graveyard dressed as God and the nun is there. In a deep booming voice he says "I command you to have sex with me!" "Okay," replies the nun, "But could you give me anal so I don't lose my virginity?" The hippie agrees. So they finish and afterwards the hippie rips his mask off and yells "Hahaha I'm the hippie!" The nun rips off her mask and yells, "Haha I'm the bus driver!"
And hello everyone!
What's pink and smells like holly?
Ian Huntley's penis
Why don't women need driver's liscences?
There's no road between the kitchen and the bedroom.
Why do women have small feet?
So they can stand closer to the sink.
Tesco van driver falls asleep at the wheel,mounts the pavement and knocks over a couple of pakis who unfortunately die.
Every Little Helps.
Dyslexics of the World UNTIE!!!
same shit, differant day!!
what the differance between, Australia and Yoghurt?
one has a culture and the other is Australia.
I usually hear that one about the US, but I suppose it works
Originally Posted by lucifers angel
Just a few aussie jokes
Q.What do you do if you see a coon with half a face
Retards are like slinkies... Totally fuking useless and you cant help but smile when they fall down stairs.
Q.What do virginia tech and mt everest have in common,
A.they're both minus 32 and have a killer slope.
Steve Irwan should have worn sun block... to protect him from all the harmful rays.
Q.What are the four most difficult years for a coon
Q.Whats long black and stinky
A.the unimployment line
Q.Why do black fellas stink
A. so the blind can hate them too
How bout some woman jokes
Q. Why shouldnt women drive
A. Because theres no road between the kitchen and bedroom
Q. Why are wedding dresses white
A. Because all good appliances come in white
Q. how many men dose it take to change a lightbulb
A. none... the bitch can cook in the dark
Q. Why dont women wear watches
A. Cause theres a clock on the stove
Q. Why do women fake orgasms
A. Cause they think men care
Q. How many men dose it take to open a beer
A. None it should be open when she brings it to him
Susan Sarandon... Hahahaha
Thats about all i got
Q.Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive
A.Because she was a woman
Cowards!!!!!!! If you're going to be offensive, be OFFENSIVE!!
Here are some humdingers for your monkey asses:
Q:Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
A:Because he's black.
Q:What do you get when you stab an infant?
Q:What's the difference between a pile of dead hookers and a Cadillac?
A:There's no Cadillac in my garage.
Q:What does a toddler smell like cooking in an oven?
Aon't know. I was too busy beating off.
Q:What's black and blue and hates sex?
A:The 4 year old in my closet.
Q:What's the useless skin around the vagina called?
Q:What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
A:You don't cum on a apple before you eat it.
Q:What did the Puerto Rican get for Christmas?
Q:Why are Japanese people's eyes slanted?
And those are just a few.................