Thread: The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

  1. #681
    if you saw steve irwin in a pub, what would he being doing?

    decomposing.

  2. #682
    Steve Irwin was being interviewed as he lay dying.
    He was asked what his favourite kids tv show was.
    "Thunderbirds," he gasped, "but I'll always have a place in my heart for Stingray..."

  3. #683
    Craig70
    Guest
    Steve Irwin should've known better than to go swimming without sunscreen on. It would have protected him from harmful rays.

  4. #684
    fetus_fajitas
    Guest
    In a recent interview Steve Irwin was asked what his favourite kids TV show was.
    He said "Thunderbirds, but Stingray will always have a special place in my heart"

    And

    There's been a Product Recall on all Steve Irwin suncream
    The claim that it protects from Harmful Rays turns out to be false


    I never normally feel guilty for telling these jokes. I'm a cold hearted bastard. But Steve Irwin was a legend....

  5. #685
    ^ Wow you just changed the words of the 2 previous posts.

  6. #686
    Samuel L. Jackson to star in "Stingrays on a Sub"

  7. #687
    PublicFarter
    Guest
    An elderly man was taking a relaxing nude sunbath when a small girl approached and started babbling, "Uncle, Uncle, what's that?"
    "That's a bird" answered the man.
    "Can I play with it?"
    "No!"
    "What's the birdy doing?"
    "It's sleeping."
    The girl went away as the man relaxed more and eventually fell asleep. The next time he woke up, he found himself in a hospital intensive care unit. "How the hell did you get such a nasty injury?" asked the doctor?
    "I...don't know! I fell asleep and when I woke up I found myself here" replied the confused man.
    "Who was the last person you saw while awake?"
    "A small girl on the beach."
    "We found this girl at the scene and thought she'd be a valuable witness in this case" said a police inspector standing nearby.
    "Yes! She's the one I saw last time" says the man.
    "Do you know anything about what happened to this man? Could you have done it?"
    the doc looked at the girl.
    The small girl with an innocent look in her face started "No, I swear I didn't do anything to Uncle. I was just playing with the birdy at that time when it got angry and spit at me. So I twisted it hard, smashed its eggs and burnt its nest."
    ~ Mr. Z

  8. #688
    Whats got 4 legs and stronger than superman?

    Christopher Reeves's horse!...

    yeah i know..its nasty,,shouldn't be making fun of dead people...but hey it fits the topic!

  9. #689
    smlcar
    Guest
    How can you tell if your girlfriend is horny?

    When you put your hand down her pants, it feels like your feeding a horse

  10. #690
    Quote Originally Posted by Vega
    Whats got 4 legs and stronger than superman?

    Christopher Reeves's horse!...

    yeah i know..its nasty,,shouldn't be making fun of dead people...but hey it fits the topic!
    if he didnt want to be laughed at, he wouldnt have been in a wheelchair.

    or dead, for that matter.

  11. #691
    smlcar
    Guest
    Why is it so hard for women to piss in the morning?

    Ever tried peeling grilled cheese apart...

  12. #692
    PublicFarter
    Guest
    Q: How bad do jews' fart rate?
    A: Don't know, but for suicide potassium cyanide is recommended.

    Sounds anti-jewish...well, the topic was tempting.

  13. #693
    big brown was screwed up
    Posts
    1,867
    Chatha, I dont think u get the idea of this site, now go fuck off and get some decent jokes or just do us all a favour and take ur poetry and quotes to another forum u stupid cunt!!!!!
    There are different kinds of sense of humors you ignorant ignoramous

  14. #694
    smlcar
    Guest
    Why isn't the queens pu$$y on a stamp?

    Would you lick it....
    Last edited by smlcar; 09-12-06 at 05:26 PM.

  15. #695
    fisktom
    Guest
    whats the difference between micheal jackson and pimples???


    pimples dont cum on your face till your older

    whats green and melts in your mouth???

    A lepers pen1s

    all i can think of atm... sum friggin gd jokes been sed!! made me crack up!

  16. #696
    smlcar
    Guest
    What's the definition of self destruction??

    An epileptic leper

  17. #697
    What did the epileptic leper say to the prostitute?

    Keep the tip

  18. #698
    What do you call a mexican skydiving?

    Air pollution

  19. #699
    Ronin-Jag
    Guest
    Hey, i wanted to let you know that this forum is great. Keep up the good work.
    I hope no ones posted this before.

    A frog is sitting on the banks of the River Jordan when a scorpion approaches him
    Scorpion: "Hello, would you please do me a favouor and carry me accross the river on your back?"
    Frog: "Are you mad? Your going to sting me."
    Scorpion: "Now why would i do that, that would cuase me to drown."
    satisfied by this, the frog allows the scorpion to jump on his back and starts to swim. About half way accross the River the scorpion stings the frog
    Frog: "What the hell did you do that for, no i will die and you will drown"
    Scorpion: "Welcome to the Middle East, Bitch!"

  20. #700
    Sikots
    Guest
    First of all, awesome thread, Flemster! Made me laugh for days and made my friends call me a psycopath

    To the topic:

    For how long may you look at a muslim with one eye closed?
    Until the magasine is empty

    ---

    Unicef called the other day and asked if we would take a black child for christmas.
    Weird question! Usually we're getting duck!

    ---
    Can't remember if this is seen before in this thread:

    If a paki, a mexican and a tyrk is in a car - who's driving?
    A policeofficer

    ---

    In an appartment, Ali lives in the first floor, Mustafa in the second floor and Poul in the third floor. An earthquake strikes, who lives?
    Poul of course - he was at work

    ---

    The boy come running in the house to his mom excitedly telling: Mom mom, we're sitting at the neighbor watching porn!
    Mom: WHAT?!
    The boy: Relax mom! It's childporn!

    ---

    The footballmatch between Somalia and Turkey ended up in chaos, when the referee gave the red card to a player. The audience stormed the court, they thought it was a passport.

    ---

    A plane is about to crash, a desperat virgin rips off her cloth and yells: Can anyone make me feel like a real woman before i die?
    A man stands up, rips off his cloth, throws it to the virgin and says: HERE! Iron it!
    Last edited by Sikots; 09-18-06 at 04:18 AM.

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