Thread: The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

  1. #501
    What's small, red and sitting in a corner?
    A little kid with a razor.

    What's small, green and sitting in a corner?
    The same kid two weeks later.

  2. #502
    Real eyes realize real lies RubiksMaster's Avatar
    I don't know if this has been posted yet, but. . .

    Q: What is the difference between a piece of shit in a bucket and a black man?
    A: The bucket

  3. #503
    Real eyes realize real lies RubiksMaster's Avatar
    Q: Why do black people only have nightmares?
    A: Because the last one to have a dream was shot.

  4. #504
    Hello all! I am new here and i have a couple of jokes so here it goes...

    Q. Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?
    A. Well ones white, plastic and dangerous for kids and the other is a plastic bag.

    A little boy with no arms goes up to a icecream truck and asks the icecream man for an icecream. "What flavour would you like?" asked the man and the little boy replied "I dont care what fucking flavour it is Im going to drop it anyway!"

    I hope thats good enough!

  5. #505
    A priest was driving along one day and he saw a young boy sitting by the road crying. The priest stopped and walked over to the little boy. "Whats the matter?" The priest asked. The little boy replied "My mother, my father, brother and sister went over the cliff in the car and went boom" the priest looked over the edge and saw the magled bodies and the car wreck. The priest looked away and his face soften then looked down at the boy and unzipped his fly and said "this just isnt your day".

  6. #506
    Real eyes realize real lies RubiksMaster's Avatar
    Q: What's do Michael Jackson and K-mart have in common?
    A: They both have little boys underwear half off.

    Q: What is the best part of an Etheopian blowjob?
    A: You know she will swallow.

    Q: What do you call a negro who has a regular job, sleeps in the same bed every night, and doesn't rape white women?
    A: Inmate #3354990

    Q: What does a black woman and a hockey player have in common?
    A: They both change their pads after 3 periods.

    Q: Why are niggers getting stronger?
    A: TVs are getting heavier.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?
    A: A dumb gorilla!

  7. #507
    RubiksMaster ---- I like the cut of your jib son


  8. #508
    Whats the difference between Batman and a Black man?

    Batman sometimes goes out without Robin!!!

  9. #509
    Real eyes realize real lies RubiksMaster's Avatar
    ^^ That one took me a while, but I finally got it!
    Racist jokes are the best!

    Q: What do you call a bunch of niggers in a field?
    A: Farm equipment.

    Q: What's the difference between a dead deer in the road, and a dead nigger in the road?
    A: The deer has skid marks leading up to it.

  10. #510
    Registered Senior Member devils_reject's Avatar
    J: "I got fined at the board for hitting my wife with a golf club"
    C:"Really, for conducts unbecoming of a gentleman"?
    J: "for using the wrong club"

    Monica Lewinski is coming out with a new Book titled "what really goes down at the oval office"

    My dick is so big it has its own dick, and my dick's dick is bigger than yours

    two men are hicking in the mountains. One suddenly stops, removes his hicking boots, and starts putting on his sneakers. The other asks why are you doing that, the first man answered " I thought I heard a bear". The second argues "You cannot outrun a bear, not even with sneakers". The first responds "No, but I only need to outrun you!"

    The difference between a bull and an orchestra? The bull has its asshole at the back

    Wear short sleeves, support your right to bear arms"!

    Black holes are where God is divided by zero

  11. #511
    Real eyes realize real lies RubiksMaster's Avatar
    Q: What is one N-word you never want to call a black person?
    A: "Neighbor"

  12. #512
    A black guy walks into an employment agency.
    "Hi. I really really wanna job. Do you have anything?" he asks.
    The woman behind the desk looks up and replies; "You're in luck! One just came in. A multi-billionaire needs a driver to drive him around. He's only here one week out of the year, the rest of the time the top-of-the-line-car is yours. But you do have to look after his twin, model, nymphomaniac daughters whilst he's away. And this job pays 300k a year. Interested?"
    The black guy starts to smile. "Come on... you're bullshitting me right?"
    The woman looks up and says "Well, you started it."

    The Flemster.

  13. #513
    A lady swallowed a super Gillette razor blade and her doctor discovered
    that not only had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy and a
    hysterectomy, but she had also castrated her husband, circumcised her
    lover, taken two fingers off a casual acquaintance, and given a vicar a
    hair lip.

    And, there were still 5 shaves left!

  14. #514
    Q: How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or
    an airline stewardess?

    A: A nurse says: "This won't hurt a bit." A schoolteacher says, "We're
    going to have to do this over and over
    again until we get it right." An airline stewardess says, "Just hold this
    over your mouth and nose, and breath

    A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt.
    He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged.
    "Have you always been that way?" asked the podiatrist.
    "No," she said, not until recently. "I've been fucking a lot doggie
    "Well," said the podiatrist, "you are going to have to stop."
    "I can't," she replied, "that's the only way my German Shepherd fucks."

    And last but not least;

    Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy. One
    fag turned to the other and said, "See that stud there, Bruce?"
    "Well, let me tell you, he's a tremendous fuck!"
    "No shit?" Bruce asked.
    "Well, hardly any."

    Fucking disgusting, right?

  15. #515
    Registered Senior Member devils_reject's Avatar
    In the beginning God created woman and blessed her with three breasts. Then the woman said "I am not giving birth to litters so I do not need three breasts".
    "I have given you wisdom and it it through this wisdom you have spoken" said God
    "What should I do with this useless boob now"? said God
    And God took the one useless boob and created man

  16. #516
    Registered Senior Member devils_reject's Avatar
    A father and son moment

    "daddy what is the government?"
    "well its like this. I am the governor, your mother is the people, the maid is the workers, and our 5 months old is the future" said the father

    That night the boy couldn't sleep, he got out of bed and walked around the house. He went to his mothers room and she was sleeping. He went to the maids room and found his father and her having hot sweaty sex. He went to the baby's room to check his diapers and found it needed to be changed. The next morning he ran to his father and the following conversation took place

    "daddy I understand the government now".
    "go ahead"
    "while the people are sleeping the government is fucking the workers and the future is full of shit"

  17. #517
    It is very dry in here today PsychoticEpisode's Avatar
    Harlem High School cheer:

    Fried chicken, watermelon, cadillac car,
    We're not as dumb as you think we is.

  18. #518
    Whats better than winning a gold medal in the para-olympics?

    A pair of legs!!!!!

  19. #519
    That, my friend, is gross.

  20. #520
    Not a joke but thought you all might like to know:
    I just had a t-shirt made with the slogan "I Booed At The Special Olymics" on it.
    As you might expect, not everyone finds it as funny as I do.
    But, as my local vicar always says, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

    The Flemster.


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