What's the best way?

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by jadedflower, Apr 29, 2004.

  1. jadedflower observer Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,477
    I've thought about this quite a bit... and I was wondering if anyone has any thoughts on it, or experience they'd like to share...

    I was wondering; how do you bring up a child and introduce religion to them?

    If you're an atheist, do you talk to them about God?
    I've always had a religious upbringing... even though I've never believed much of it...
    I don't want to inforce atheism, I made this choice for myself, and I'd like to give my child (when/if I have one) the chance to come to their own conclusions... but if I never give them a religious upbringing, they might never get into religion.
    Actually, the truth is, I wouldn't really want my child to be religious... only because I have this sort of... 'aversion' to some of the aspects involved. E.g. "Sheep syndrome"... the blind following.

    Anyhow, this thread is mainly for me to read other people's ideas on the subject, so please, load you thought gun and fire away.

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  3. Quigly ......................... ..... Registered Senior Member

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    You contradicted yourself.


    AND THEN


    So which is it, do you want your child to have a choice or not? Most likely you wouldn't because of the fact that it was forced on you and it obviously didn't fit your mold. You may be upset with the fact that it was jammed down your piehole and so you don't want to do the same to your kid. Well ask yourself if anything good has come from a religious upbringing? If you say yes than by all means you should introduce the choice to them.

    Also, if you have a kid, most likely your parents aka Childs grandparents, will teach your child about religion if it is rooted strongly in them. Religion has its good and has its bad, but because it is evident in all cultures in one form or another, than your child will learn about it. Even an atheist serves his own religion, that is his belief to not believe.
     
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  5. moementum7 ~^~You First~^~ Registered Senior Member

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    It will not be so much what you teach your children by what you say, but by what you do. If your child grows to see you happy, independant, healthy, and succeeding in a way that you have deemed successful, your child will be nurtured from that.
    Parenting is a leadership role.
    Teach your child to think for themselves.
    Teach them that their minds are their most imporatant asset in this world.
    The importance of self esteem. (self-reliance.)
    Let the religious choice be up to the child.
    Continue to work on yourself, and all of the rest will follow.
    You will be a great mom!
    Best to you on everything you do.
     
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  7. jadedflower observer Valued Senior Member

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    lol, thanks moementum...

    Quigly, I know it was a contradiction... it's the contradiction I have inside me and that I need to resolve.

    Religious education did me good. It taught be to be tolerant, it's general knowledge, it's moral foundation... but I became a non-believer.
    I want my child to be understanding, open minded... but not really a believer. But, well... I'm not sure to what extent it's okay to promote "non-belief" to a child who is too young to understand...
     
  8. Quigly ......................... ..... Registered Senior Member

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    901
    A child is never to young to understand. This is a different situation, but still may help.

    In my own life, because of something that happened when I was 2 years old, I grew up feeling rejection till I was about 18 or 19. It wasn't even a traumatic event or a direct action. It wasn't an avoidable circumstance or anything. It is weird to me looking back that I was impressionable at such a young age. I didn't mean to make a choice to feel that way, but it happened. The reason I identified the root of this feeling was from a dream I had and from talks with my parents about events in my childhood. Without going into great depths, I realized that even at 2 I was able to form a belief about myself and the world around me that affected my whole childhood and teenhood. I look back and see how it affected a lot of decisions in my life for the negative.

    Remember, parenting is not easy and the circumstances that happen are often not avoidable, but will leave a taint on your child. What I mean is, you can be the best parent in the world, but still cause emotional hurt to your child. In my case, it was something I felt subconsciencely(spelling??) and grew up with that in the back of my mind, not knowing the why but I definately felt the pain.
     
  9. jadedflower observer Valued Senior Member

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    1,477
    woah... okay. Thanks... now you've got me worried again. This time, it's worse. How do I know I won't cause them emotional pain without knowing it?!

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    My childhood was a little traumatic... but well, in a rather Freudean way. It's a bit stupid... I guess my temporary spurts of hatred and disdain of humanity started because of early age experiences.
    But why have I turned this post into a confessional?
     
  10. Katazia Black Mamba Registered Senior Member

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    743
    I never intentionally taught my children anything about religion and it was never covered in their school life. I never thought young children were capable of understandning the issues anyway.

    Religion has simply never been a part of their lives and is essentially irrelevant for everyday life.

    Perhaps when something religious occurs in their lives then that might be the time for them to invesitage the issue, but until then it seems to be a subject that is a waste of time.

    I wouldn't do anything if I were you unless you know they are being specifically targeted for religious indoctrination - then you will need to arm them appropriately. But my kids are now in their twenties and definitely have minds of their own. They know my opinions, and they aren't interested in the subject but they have all stated that they find religious people creepy and disturbing. That feels like somewhere along the road I have done a good job.

    Perhaps the best thing is to teach them how to think clearly and then trust them to deduce and discover for themselves that religions are not worthy of serious consideration.

    Kat
     
  11. moementum7 ~^~You First~^~ Registered Senior Member

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    1,598
    I don't mean this in a negative way, but I think you should definitely wait until you have your own life in order before you attempt to raise a child.
    An important question to ask, why do you want to have a child?
     
  12. ConsequentAtheist Registered Senior Member

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    How sad that you were able to manufacture a contradiction where none existed.
     
  13. Rappaccini Redoubtable Registered Senior Member

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    1,192
    No, she didn't, not by a long shot.


    jadedflower, I have no experience to share with you, but my immediate thought is that you should simply tell the child that there are a good many people in the world that believe in an invisible creature who loves them.
    Tell him or her no more, but, if he or she asks directly, leaving you no choice, you should state that you are yourself skeptical.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2004
  14. Q25 Registered Senior Member

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    593
    when are you people gonna get it,
    atheism is NOT a religion.
    atheism is a lack of belief in gods,and supernatural.

    as far as teaching your kids,
    start with the truth,
    religions Xianity especialy teaches LIES,from six day creation,man made of dirt,woman made of mans rib,Noahs boat that housed all animals

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    and so on its IDIOTIC to accept as something that realy happened.

    other religions aint much better,Budhism seems to be one of the better ones.imo

    imo teaching a kid to rely on his/her wits to survive is the best way to succeed in life,as it teaches them to be independent.

    relying on some imaginary skydude to give you helping hand is for weak minded,easily exploited folk.
     
  15. water the sea Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,442
    JadedFlower,

    I can only give you my personal input. My parents were raised Catholic, but after they've left their homes, they also didn't go to church anymore. I wasn't baptized, no specifically Catholic practices took place in my family. I had some troubles due to that in school, as I was the only non-Catholic kid in the class ... But being so, I realized the practical hypocrisies of Catholics: they preach kindness, condemn sins and all that -- yet in everyday life, they are prone to be extremely unkind, and to break all the rules they have set for themselves and the world.
    So I wondered what's the point of being religious -- if you preach and say that you believe one thing, but behave the opposite?

    It's about the person and about how true they are to themselves, to their beliefs; and not about the religion they belong to.

    I guess that if you are not religious yourself -- how are you supposed to give a good example of a *religious* person to your child?
     
  16. jadedflower observer Valued Senior Member

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    Thanks, everyone

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