Best Story Ever Told

[gendanken]

Three men were gathered around a table playing Fan-tan. An angel descended down to the men to say "The world will end tommorrow, you.......

Never heard this one but I dig the guy who went on to finish the game anway. I think that if the world were to end suddenly tomorrw I'd finally jump the gun and sleep with a woman.

[spuriousmonkey]

Originally posted by Mucker
Also, I was wondering if monkeys, at least, also had umbilical cords, the same as humans, and if not, do any other animals?

Many mammals have placentas and umbilical cords. Exceptions would be a primitive mammal such as the platypus, part of the Monotremes, which lays eggs. And in marsupials the baby is born in a very primitive state and I actually do not know if they have umbilical cords...but their placenta is different because it is more a yolk-type placenta. This does not allow for longer gestation times and hence the babies are born so early.

And then you have the group of eutheria, which are all placental mammals. This includes almost everything you could think of that has fur and nipples. Mice, cats, bats, cows, humans, chimps, voles, elephants...whatever.

and WCF is a biochemist.

[Mucker]

I heard one about this spider, called incey-wincey, and Miss Tuffet. The spider scared miss_tuffet away, but I think she came back.

[one_raven]

On The Road - Kerouac
Through the Looking Glass - Carroll
Stpry of the Eye - Batille(sp?)

[Mucker]

THEY'RE ALL SHIT!

[Dr Lou Natic]

I would pick something close to your selection pollux. I would say the story of the earth(including man and every other organism).
But for many of the same reasons you would say the story of man like the lucky little coincidences that allowed for enormous things. It truely is remarkable, I wonder if any other life harbouring planet has such a rich story to tell with as many mind bending twists and turns and tie ins.
If somehow the reality we know didn't exist but people were still writing stories and someone came up with the idea of earth's life story they would need to be considered by far the most genius human in history for their creative writing ability alone.
Things as simple as plankton converting carbon dioxide into oxygen which allowed for life on land. The very system we take for granted that keeps life going without the life even knowing whats going on(untill recently). Its all so hard for us to truely appreciate because it is the only reality we are aware of but I guarantee that an outside observer would be totally blown away.
When I am walking down the street I look at everything around me, the people, the cars, the trees, the birds, the insects whatever and think "to something in the universe THIS is alien". Like really think about that next time you are outside, it starts feeling like you are observing and exploring an alien planet. Not fully of course but I think I have a taste for what that would be like by just looking at earth in a different way than I have most of my life, imagining I am an alien looking into this planet, it makes everything infinitely more interesting for some reason. You just know some being in space somewhere would be amazed and frightened and blown away by what we never even think about. The story of this earth is the greatest story I have "heard" so far. I find it hard to imagine another story topping it considering it encapsulates(almost) everything we know or can think of. I'd love to hear the story of a similar yet different planet.

[one_raven]

Originally posted by gendanken
The story about the traveler in the desert surprised by a wild megabeast is an old one.....

I LOVE that!

[one_raven]

Originally posted by Mucker
THEY'RE ALL SHIT!

Is that in response to my suggestions?

I think Story of the Eye is an excellent story about living a life of complete abandon of society's implied moral values.
Allowing complete freedom to live a life of pure hedonistic pleasure with no conscience to slow you down.

On the Road is an endearing tale of a man who is lost in a quest to find himself.
He is a member of a generation that has nothing to unite them, so grasp for something to believe in.
Jack (Sal) sought that which he was missing through music, companionship, drugs, freedom and writing.
He is absolutlely enamored with all aspects of life and humanity.
He looks at life through the eyes of a child that is filled with wonder and finds excitement in everything he sees.
He judges no one and accepts them for who they are.
He focuses on what he likes about people and is convinced that there is more to like about each person than there is to dislike.

Through the Looking Glass reminds us (me, at least) to not forget the importance of imagination and a large inner world in life.

I think there is important lessons to learn from all the stories.

[fredx]

Xev said:

"The one about the sultry, aggressive, neglected housewife and the shy, muscular, gorgeous boy who comes over to clean her pool..."

You missed the boat on this one, oh thats right I am not shy and I don't do manual labor.

Still I am not so convinced girls really like shy guys anyway.

[gendanken]

Says Mucker

Also, I was wondering if monkeys, at least, also had umbilical cords, the same as humans, and if not, do any other animals? Sorry to post this, I know it's not very nice, but it could provide some answers, and it is interesting (to me anyway).

And yes, Mucker, from the monkey to the shrew to the wild zebra all mammals, save the platypus, have umblilical cords including dogs and kitties. All one need do is look.

[Mucker]

h thats right I am not shy and I don't do manual labor.

Fred x's first post that made me laugh out loud (it really did!) Just don't let it go to your head Freddy.

Some of those stories do sound good one_raven. I've heard about The Looking Glass loads but I've never actually read it. I only really heard about it from Noel Gallagher (he uses a looking glass in the don't look back in anger video, too).

[Bridge]

The greatest story is always your own. Your cover may be a bit worn, with circular stains from where you set your coffee mug down and then too, some of the pages are starting to yellow...

but hopefully some chapters are still unread and you'll find satisfaction in them before you read: "the end".

Who knows, if you're really lucky perhaps the PUBLISHER will want you to write a sequel.

[fredx]

I won't Mucker but yet again I was never your typical intellectual, so I am not that prone to their occupational hazards. I am 75% intellectual and 25% regular dude. That is why I am so refreshing. Pure intellectuals are boring.

In response to Bridge, I am already working on my second book.

I don't know when I am going to release them though.

[irishwhite]

The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"

One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.

Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"

To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.

About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.

As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend.

He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off."

And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long.

It was bad for me to do this." "No," his friend replied, "This is good!"

"What do you mean, 'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"

"If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you."

[plasticwingsmelting]

Dr. Lou:


sometimes, i feel more aware of what is actually true about our existence. when im driving and im staring down the road ahead, listening to music, lost in thought...


i think about time. and the next few seconds and how time isn't something real. i think about the past, and the future. i think how they don't exist, either. there's no way to go into the past because it doesnt exist. i mean...you're living now. i know this thought is tired, but ive been thinking about this for a long time and it gives you a sense of understanding what you can never really begin to comprehend or appreciate...and it's us being here. there's no real magic to the world we live in. we're an accident and reality is going to correct it sooner or later.

im rambling.

[druiaghtagh]

All i have to say is, i think this topic is the dogs bollicks , well done Pollux for starting it