About the human sex drive

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by R1D2, Apr 21, 2014.

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The "Sex Drive".....

  1. imo male has a higher drive

    33.3%
  2. imo female has a higher drive

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. imo 2,4,6 times is about normal a year (see post)

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. imo 3,5,7 times is about normal a year (see post)

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. imo no release is harmful (seee post)

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. imo some realease is helpful (see post)

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  7. voted other (will leave a post, see post opinions)

    100.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. R1D2 many leagues under the sea. Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
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    I have a friend I was talking too and I figure I should ask on here some questions. What's the "psychology" behind our "sex drive"?
    What makes us have Likes and dislikes sexually and toward some looks? Is it past experiances or something else?
    What would make us "like beasts or otherwise"? (Knew a friend who said they seen someone do a ungodly act...with a donkey).
    *What is really a normal"ish" sex drive InUrOpinion for male and female and if you think there is a age group? When should one IUO "seek some help"? Like some priests, Is goin' w/o "release" for long periods harmful or helpful? How does a dr determine ones needs, to say that there is something off or to prescibe meds for help?


    Please everyone try an answer the questions the best that you can. And take the poll.
     
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  3. Balerion Banned Banned

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    Is that some kind of misspelled innuendo, or did you forget to add a poll question?
     
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  5. R1D2 many leagues under the sea. Valued Senior Member

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    Was making it. Vote now if you want. Its a public poll and you can vote more than once.
    See I just did
    And imo from those I've talked with, and knew, and from my personal account my opinion is that guys have a higher "attraction and sex drive". And that a priest that "can't " has it rough...
     
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  7. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    24,690
    Unlike every other species of ape, humans are programmed to avoid incest when possible, and to mate with partners who are not closely related. In fact we seem to be programmed to be attracted to people who appear to be considerably different from ourselves, and therefore as distantly related as possible.

    This is obviously an evolutionary advantage, as it reduces the probability of a bad gene doubling up, causing the birth of a child who is weak and will not be able to contribute to the prosperity of the tribe, or who indeed may simply die young, using up resources without ever replenishing the supply.

    Most of us can identify this trait in ourselves, as we are attracted to strange, foreign-looking movie stars and other celebrities. (Or simply the people in another neighborhood of a cosmopolitan city, like right here in Washington.)

    Many societies establish artificial tabus against intermarriage with members of other societies, but the people themselves circumvent the tabu in private. Even in the American South, in the bad old days of slavery, the planters routinely sneaked out to the slave quarters and fathered "mix-race" children. Those who could afford it often sent these children to live with relatives in Europe, where racism was not as common (at least not against Africans, their attitude toward Jews is another story) and they could be sent to the best schools. Failing that, they might have simply sent them off to live with Aunt Matilda in Massachusetts, ignoring the likelihood that in a few decades they'd be at war with Massachusetts.

    In the 20th century, the Westermarck Effect was discovered accidentally by people studying the children in some of the kibbutzes in Israel. In these institutions, all of the children were gathered in one large home during the week, where they were raised communally by professional teachers, nurses and psychologists--leaving their parents free to work harder in the fields. They only lived with their parents on weekends.

    Years later, the researchers tracked down as many of these children as they could--not a difficult task in a small nation with an efficient bureaucratic government. They were astounded to discover that almost none of them had married each other! In regular schools, the familiarity and affection between classmates naturally results in quite a few romances, and it's common for them to marry as adults--or even as teens.

    But after being raised together as part of the same family, even though consciously they knew that they were not actually blood-relatives, an instinct apparently kicked in and made them reluctant to consider a "brother" or "sister" as a potential mate.

    This makes our species genetically strong. Gorillas, for example, mate with their own children and grandchildren, perpetuating any bad combinations of DNA. A biologist once said that when he was shown the skulls of two gorillas from clans 500 miles apart, they were shaped so differently that he was certain they were from two different species!

    So it appears that our predilection to mate "outside the clan" is an instinct that has survived and become nearly universal because it results in stronger, healthier individuals.

    Remember that the last Stone Age tribes were still in existence when European scholars traveled with explorers to distant lands, so they were able to study their customs. Many Paleolithic tribes had summer festivals, attended by all the clans in the same geographical area--when food was abundant so there was no need for rivalry. One of the common rituals practiced at these events was swapping daughters. This way the clans were able to (as Duckman put it) "make sure there's enough chlorine in the gene pool."

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  8. billvon Valued Senior Member

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    21,634
    I'd disagree with that. In general we are attracted to people who look like us (similar race, similar dress etc.) There is also a built-in aversion to incest, but that's caused by long childhood familiarity with someone, and is specific to those persons. (i.e. the Westermarck effect)

    Edited to add - the above tendency to choose people that look like ourselves is called assortative mating. From Wikipedia:

    =========
    People tend to select mates that are like themselves; this is known as assortative mating. This holds both for physical appearances and mental traits. People commonly rank faces similar to their own as more attractive, trustworthy, etc. than average.
    =========
     
  9. billvon Valued Senior Member

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    21,634
    The ultimate driver is evolution, which drives us towards finding mates that will maximize the number of surviving offspring. Thus women are often attracted to men who are physically strong and are seen as leaders (since these people are perceived to do a better job of protecting offspring) and men are often attracted to women who have wide hips and obvious breasts (perceived as important to bearing children.)

    It's important to remember that that is only the primary drive; our own preferences, societal forces, religion, family desires etc then modify those drives.

    Doctors don't determine your needs; you do. In general, doctors treat "broken" sex drives - ones that are driving people towards antisocial behavior, or making them unusually unhappy, or causing them pain, or exposing them to disease.
     
  10. scheherazade Northern Horse Whisperer Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,798
    Men are generally considered to have a higher sex drive and remain capable of fathering children through most of their lives. One of my neighbors fathered a child while in his early sixties and no need to question the paternity...the child was the spitting image of his daddy, and a precocious wee imp as well, riding his tricycle almost 2 km to the school at the age of 2 1/2. Caused a bit of a scare, that day, for his mom.

    Women can also be possessed of a very high sex drive when they are ovulating. Their hormonal cycle each month regulates when they are feeling amorous, as most experienced men can attest, and when she says 'NO', she definitely means it so back off, boyo.

    Throughout the course of one's life, the sex drive waxes and wanes with the stresses of the day to day. New relationships can be very stimulating and invigorating for the sex life, getting comfortable over time and energies directed toward other pursuits and interests. (Some people become addicted to this New Relationship Energy, as it is known, and are not able to maintain a long-term relationship, seeking a new partner once they become bored.) Adequate rest and nutrition go a long ways toward one's sex drive and stress and overwork can steal one's energy for sex.

    Physically, no one has been demonstrated to die directly from lack of sex but the psychological stress may well cause one to be distracted and therefore at greater risk for mishap or stress related illness.

    Individuals vary greatly in their sex drive at all stages of life and it is a common topic of discord between partners, if one person would enjoy more sex than the other has interest or ability to satisfy. It is also impossible to predict how the course of one's desire shall run. A couple may be quite compatible sexually when they get together and this may change over time for countless reasons.
     
  11. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    24,690
    Men who do not have intercourse (or masturbate) ejaculate only in their sleep, and for most of them this does not occur frequently enough to maintain prostate health.

    The swelling puts them at high risk of prostate cancer, which is generally fatal if not treated. However, it is one of the slowest-growing cancers, with as long as 15 years from diagnosis to death.

    Treatment usually involves removing the gland, destroying the ability to ejaculate, which is likely to cause psychological stress depending on the age of the patient. However, in recent years microsurgery techniques have been able in many cases to salvage the nerve responsible for ejaculation, so the feeling persists even if there is no actual semen.

    Note to originator: I don't understand the poll. Only a tiny percentage of men under age 60 would regard seven times a year as satisfactory.
     
  12. quinnsong Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    1,621
    i think you nailed it with your observations, at least from a female perspective.

    Your comment about the New Relationship Energy (did not know this had a label) is something I observed several years ago while working with a large group of mostly young adults (20-30). I would estimate about 20% of them were in and out of relationships every 3-9 months and they would immediately seek new partners as if shopping for a pair of shoes. I specifically remember one young woman who would actively seek men the day after a break-up, my impression was this girl seems to have no emotional attachment to her prior beau at all.
     
  13. wellwisher Banned Banned

    Messages:
    5,160
    Humans have two centers of consciousness, one is within the conscious mind and the other is within the unconscious mind. The one within the unconscious mind is connected to our animal and instinctive natures. Our sex drive stems from the unconscious center; inner self or inner child, using instinctive based personality firmware. The conscious mind becomes aware of the firmware induction, via active imagination, impulse and projection. We know it, when we become horny; firmware is active.

    Because the conscious mind has will power and choice, the conscious mind will superimpose its own unique choices onto the unconscious induction. These choice are both personal and socially collective. The collective social aspect stems from what Freud called the superego or learn collective cultural inductions. The superego may be different in different cultures, since these are learned behavior based on social conformity.

    The ancients were aware of the two centers, with the personality firmware being understood as being separate from the ego/conscious mind. In western mythology, the firmware induction of passion and love was associated with the goddess Aphrodite. The goddess was drive of the natural impulse, which was beyond the ego to create for itself; Like the song, I can't make you love me if you don't already do; firmware needs to be active. If the firmware is not active we feel conscious indifference and not unbridled passion.

    I remember as a younger male on the hunt, the wilder guys had a saying that a stiff dick had no conscience. What that referred to was the firmware induction of the male had its own impulse and agenda. It was the conscious mind that was responsible for his conscience. If one was intoxicated, under peer pressure or somehow consciously impaired, there was no telling how the evening would end when running on just firmware. The other saying was I never went to bed with an ugly gal, but I woke up with a few. This saying developed because the firmware is different from our conscious choice, with the firmware having its own agenda. I presented these examples to show an experiment males can do to observe the firmware in action. Don't take my word for it but rather gather your own data to prove the firmware to yourself.

    When the firmware is active in romance, the male or female beloved can take on almost mythological proportions. The abused woman is not seeing her abusive mate but sees the firmware projection overlay onto the reality of her mate. The two lovers see something in each other that is often out of proportion to what an impartial observer will see from an objective POV. One may not see the most beautiful guy or gal in the world is average. This has to do with the firmware projection. Picture a movie of the imagination superimposed upon sensory reality, so the beloved takes on mythological proportions of beauty and grace that may not be there to an outsider who lacks an active projection. But this all naturally design, to help confound our willpower, so we will procreate, in spite of willpower setting cultural limits.

    The ancient also had rituals that allowed them to induce the firmware via fertility rites. Picture ritually induced command lines that allow one to induce the inner self to trigger the firmware of love and passion. Now instead of routine sex, scheduled for wednesdays, the mythology of passion returns, so the couples become blinded within the natural firmware projections and impulses, like when they met.

    The purpose of ancient religions was to differentiate and provide command lines for brain firmware, with later religions working more on the conscious mind side to regulate these.
     
  14. quinnsong Valued Senior Member

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    Why do I feel like a software program? I prefer biology and chemistry when explaining sexual drive.
     
  15. Arne Saknussemm trying to figure it all out Valued Senior Member

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    I also did not understand the poll, nor much of what the OP was trying to say. His writing style was too cool for its own good, and I didn't care anyway after I saw his avatar was giving us the middle finger. What the hey? How are we to take such a person seriously? Is he really expecting us to answer such personal questions just to satisfy his curiosity? Which one is he, Masters or Johnson? :bugeye:

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  16. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    Note from the Linguistics Moderator: You need to re-write that sentence because it makes no sense!

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    This is a huge exaggeration. Many things that we gather into our conscious mind are reinforced so heavily by repetition, importance, strong emotional impact, etc., that they are passed down to the unconscious. After all, the unconscious is where dreams are produced, and our dreams are full of people, activities, sights, sounds and ideas that first appeared in our conscious mind. I assume that you (and other people) talk in your dreams? Language is clearly something we learn, not programming we were born with.

    Jung tells us that religions are collections of archetypes: images, stories, rituals, etc. that occur in almost all cultures and almost all eras. He died before genetics became a mature science, but rewording his explanation in modern terminology, an archetype is an instinct programmed into our neurons by our DNA and passed down by evolution.

    The passing down of most instincts is easy to understand because they are survival traits: an animal who doesn't instinctively run away from a larger animal with both eyes in front of its face (a predator) won't live long enough to reproduce so his genes will be lost. It's more difficult to understand why the instincts that comprise religion have been passed down since, frankly, if you look at today's news it's difficult to escape the conclusion that religion is an impediment to the survival of our species. Still, it's not uncommon for random bits of DNA to be pushed downward through a genetic bottleneck, and our species has undergone two of those: Mitochondrial Eve and Y-Chromosome Adam.
     
  17. Bells Staff Member

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    24,270
    I have to agree with Arne. The poll is somewhat.. ermm.. weird and way wayyy too personal. Especially since it's public. No offense to all poster's here, but I really don't want to know when and how many times you "release"..
     
  18. quinnsong Valued Senior Member

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    I take it you will not be reading my new novel "Fifty Shades of my Perversions" then?
     
  19. Gremmie "Happiness is a warm gun" Valued Senior Member

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    Is that for sale at Barnes & Nobles? : )
     
  20. scheherazade Northern Horse Whisperer Valued Senior Member

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    LOL...rolling on the floor.

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  21. wellwisher Banned Banned

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    If you trace the sex drive back to the source, the source is the brain. We can look at a something that is sexy and get aroused. In this case, the sensory input into the brain triggers the biology behind horny; memory association, thalamus, brain stem, cerebral spinal fluid, glands, blood supply.

    One can have a sexy or wet dream leading to a climax, with this all run by the inner self and unconscious subroutines, via firmware. One does not even need the sensory systems or the action of the conscious mind to become horny. One can just be sitting there and become suddenly horny. There is now an inner urge to meet someone, as we become swept up in the time-line of the animated firmware. We become motivated to go out to meet members of the opposite sex. In the middle, are all the rituals of preparations, that are part of the program.

    Once out, you might scan the horizon of possible candidates. Through projection, your attention is riveted on a certain person, whom you can't take your eyes off of. You don't know it yet, consciously, but someday you will marry each other. The inner self, via the firmware feedback, (Aphrodite) sees good firmware meshing between you two, but it first needs to help get the conscious mind on the same page. It might crank up the horny.

    Once the two lovers meet, a bonding couple will each have their firmware mesh with the other, like the teeth in two gears, generating leverage, needed for cross programming of firmware. This is often the place where many people run, since they can't fully control the machine. The male and female firmware are staggered with each helping the other fill in the gaps from each other. Couples begin to merge and become like each other.

    Falling in love, which is different from just sex, involves more than one firmware level acting in each partner. Sometimes one partner uses only the sex firmware and enjoys passionate sex that is epic. The other has both the sex firmware and firmware connected to emotional whirlwinds. In this case, only one falls in love, the other just has good sex, but they do not have much in the way of firmware induce meshing of emotions to seal their bond. However, the one with both firmware active, can still fall in love with her projection, thinking the other is generating this.

    But in the case of the anticipated couple who will marry, both firmware engage and mesh, resulting in both romance and passion.

    All this is based on collective human nature, with little having changed in thousands of years. I always thought it so cool, that one can read about a romance from long ago and the dynamics sound just like the present. The only thing that changes are the fashions and places of the times, controlled by the conscious mind.
     
  22. elte Valued Senior Member

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    1,345
    I voted the last option (other) because of my feeling that the sex drive wastes a lot of time for humans. It's time that could be spent doing something that takes a lot of mental concentration to get done in our already too-short lifespans.
     
  23. quinnsong Valued Senior Member

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    You think sex is a total waste of time? You see no value in having sex?
     

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