08-04-12, 10:51 PM #1
Greetings fellow science fiction enthusiasts, as a pretentious opinionated fuck wit I feel that its my right if not duty to comment on anything I find objectionable. Happily Hollywood always gives me ample fodder on which I my vent my scorn.
My critiques might seem for the most part to be negative but the truly bad is like milk and honey to the critic.
Nobody cares to hear how wonderful something is but will salivate spontaneously when hearing the truly awful described.
Battleship which has just come out on DVD and Blue Ray is not the worst movie Iíve ever seen but its far from the best, this movie is just an overt advertisement for the US navy.
Jingoism abounds as the prodigal hero Navy bad boy dude revenges his brothers death to become a Navy hero, and Rihanna dresses up as GI Jane and delivers a few glib lines to the camera.
Liam Neeson looks like he doesn't want to be there, his acting is so wooden you could have replaced him with a cardboard cut out and gotten a better performance.
Decent special effects don't make up for the lack of a decent script or good acting.
All in all, this film is forgettable and the only reason I reviewed it was that its an easy target on which to vent my inherent bitchiness.
08-05-12, 01:28 PM #2
Battleship is a wholly preposterous film. However, I didn't hate it, because it had value as an amusing spectacle.
All they were trying to do is create a fun ride for those who don't take films too seriously, and although there isn't really a trace of any true excellence to be found even if that regard, I think it served it's purpose well enough.
08-05-12, 07:02 PM #3
08-05-12, 09:11 PM #4
Yea, I'm not saying it wasn't amusing only having fun critiquing its failures of which there are many. And bemoaning the fact that with the budget that was obviously involved in this film, better directors and writers could have done something a bit more interesting.
I'm sure that it was conceived by a committee of studio executives, probably because Mattel wanted to promote their new Battleship game and the Navy needed an image boost.
08-05-12, 09:19 PM #5
Dude please, Battleship film is an accurate representation of how American forces will bring the Alien spaceships down to their knees with their heroism and intellectual superiority. A scene the Hollywood censored out of the film included the young heroic captain of the ship attacking the alien spaceship with his fork, as his M16 was jammed by the evil alien goo.
... meanwhile the brave Navy SEALs are practicing their drilling techniques (http://www.cnn.com/2012/04/22/justic...uit/index.html) on women, to be utilized on the alien species future interrogations.
08-06-12, 11:02 PM #6
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