The Douchebag Housewives of Joisey County

[GeoffP]

The wife is watching the Joisey Housewives - and I don't know what actual county should be ashamed of having them, and I don't care. This particular herd of stuck-up sluts is driving to California in a bunch of RVs apparently and with the mountain roads they're taking it is possible - if unlikely - that some or all of them might die. I realize that it's improbable, given that stuck-up clowns the length and breadth of rich New Jersey have not shown up en masse for a retarded funeral.

I'll keep you all updated on this developing story. I'm sure our prayers will go with them. That is, prayers for their death.

[Bells]

Have you considered "movie night"? You know? When she is settling down to watch these shows, suggest you sit together and watch a good movie instead? Call it "together time"..

Or asking your wife why she is watching these shows?

If she persists in watching it, buy her a good pair of headphones, plug it into the TV and suggest it's a compromise?

If she refuses, tell her you are going to learn to play the violin and stand in the room with the TV and each time one such show starts, tell her you need to practice. There are potential benefits to this..

a) You will either become good at the instrument.
b) She could possibly kill you with it.
c) She may take up the offer of the headphones.
d) Stop watching them in disgust at the horrendous noise you will be making with the instrument.

Personally, I would hope for b).. but alas.. I kid.. Of course I kid..

Anywho, just ask her why she watches them and try and work on an alternative..

[GeoffP]

Done all that shit. She watches them. I mean, I can hardly tell her to stop. Do I really even have the right to 'finagle' her out of watching them? By definition, it's not actually a bad behavior.

They all lived, BTW. Hope springs eternal. Maybe they'll visit a gunpowder factory.

[Bells]

Done all that shit.

Ah to be a fly on your wall when you walked in with a violin...

She watches them. I mean, I can hardly tell her to stop.

Not unless you want your gonads in a jar by her bedside...

I am curious as to why she wants to watch them, more than anything. What is the attraction? I am assuming this is some sort of staged reality show? Where is the appeal?

Do I really even have the right to 'finagle' her out of watching them?

You could suggest you do alternative things together rather than watching TV?

By definition, it's not actually a bad behavior.

And if it was "bad behaviour"? She isn't a child, so you can't reward or punish her behavious as one would a child.

They all lived, BTW. Hope springs eternal. Maybe they'll visit a gunpowder factory.

More likely to choke on a piece of sushi..

[GeoffP]

Not unless you want your gonads in a jar by her bedside...

I am curious as to why she wants to watch them, more than anything. What is the attraction? I am assuming this is some sort of staged reality show? Where is the appeal?

Well, it's in those articles. Women like them. Presumably men also...but the target demographic is certainly women. I ask her: "why?" No real answer. "They're interesting."

You could suggest you do alternative things together rather than watching TV?

We do do. It's just that there are a dozen of these social abominations. There literally must be one of the pack on every night. And it makes business sense when you think about it.

"What's drawing in the viewers, Dave?"

"Why, it's that show about spoiled whores."

"Yeah. Darn shame it can't be on every night, huh?"

[Both] "Oh my god..."

And there you have it. Dredge up some additional rich clowns and it's off to the races. The men are no better: presented as go-getters, they're primarily snakes.

And if it was "bad behaviour"? She isn't a child, so you can't reward or punish her behavious as one would a child.

Well, you're the one who wanted me to interdict her here. I said: there's no reason for me to finagle her out of watching them. It's not immoral to watch the show (sort of) and I can't very well tell her 'no'. There's no explicit reason for me to say "Oi! I'm not havin' that in me house, luv."

More likely to choke on a piece of sushi..

Or their own hubris.

[MacGyver1968]

^disapproves of this thread.

[Bells]

Well, it's in those articles. Women like them. Presumably men also...but the target demographic is certainly women. I ask her: "why?" No real answer. "They're interesting."

Suggest she get a new hobby.

How are they interesting..

See, I don't understand this whole reality show obsession or phenomenon. Then again, I rarely ever watch TV anymore.. So I am probably not one to talk.

We do do. It's just that there are a dozen of these social abominations. There literally must be one of the pack on every night. And it makes business sense when you think about it.

"What's drawing in the viewers, Dave?"

"Why, it's that show about spoiled whores."

"Yeah. Darn shame it can't be on every night, huh?"

[Both] "Oh my god..."

And there you have it. Dredge up some additional rich clowns and it's off to the races. The men are no better: presented as go-getters, they're primarily snakes.

You could suggest only one or two nights a week and then do other things for the rest of the week.. Other things that does not involve television.

Well, you're the one who wanted me to interdict her here. I said: there's no reason for me to finagle her out of watching them. It's not immoral to watch the show (sort of) and I can't very well tell her 'no'. There's no explicit reason for me to say "Oi! I'm not havin' that in me house, luv."

Well you can and you can't say that. You'd say it for pornography, wouldn't you? Well you know what I mean.. I am sure she would say something to you if you suddenly decided to sit down in front of the TV to watch pornography. So why can't you say 'hey, how about we cut back on the reality shows?'..? Compromise. I am sure you do certain things that annoy her. Suggest you cut back on some of your annoying habits and she cuts back on her "interesting" viewing habits.

There is obviously a very explicit reason for you to say something about it. You have posted about these shows a few times now. So it bothers you enough to comment on it. Maybe you should speak to her about what annoys you about it and tell her how you feel.

---

^disapproves of this thread.

What in the bejesus is that?

[Asguard]

I suggest separate bedrooms and separate TVs, anything is better than that sort of rubbish. PB got into gossip girl so I started staying up latter watching decent shows like mythbusters on main TV. Thankfully that junk is over and its my turn to torture her with new season of lost girls soon (love that show because it used one of my favourite songs in its first episode, band of skulls, I know what I am)

[GeoffP]

Well you can and you can't say that. You'd say it for pornography, wouldn't you? Well you know what I mean.. I am sure she would say something to you if you suddenly decided to sit down in front of the TV to watch pornography. So why can't you say 'hey, how about we cut back on the reality shows?'..? Compromise. I am sure you do certain things that annoy her. Suggest you cut back on some of your annoying habits and she cuts back on her "interesting" viewing habits.

You see my problem. Yes, it's insidious. But it's not exactly beyond the pale, is it, except in that way that involves reasonability or societal responsibility. I just quizzed her on cutting back, and her response was "well I stopped watching Miami and Atlanta and New York...but I'm not giving up Orange County" and some other collection of spoiled retards, I forget where they are and it doesn't matter.

It's like salt and sugar: is mankind really equipped to deal with the intriguingly stupid or self-absorbed rich on TV? It probably ties in somehow to some ancient meme about watching other people go through tribulations, since fully half of any of these shows is endless bitching and whining about things so trivial it would make an obsessive-compulsive take a pass on hitting the lightswitch three times before bed because he can't take any more redundancy. It's like bird-calling, maybe: when you go out in the woods and look for birds, or so my ornithology prof insisted, and I didn't care enough to test this in any significant way, you make a "pish-pish" sound which apparently resembles the noise a female wren makes when being murdered. Then the other birds crowd around to see who's getting their plot today, and presumably mentally divy up her estimated territory and resources. Such is life: and maybe humans don't well resist the same kind of voyeristic impulse. That being possible, shouldn't this kind of shit be viciously regulated? I mean, my wife's an adult and we'd still end up watching it anyway, but maybe it would put the experience off if she had to press three or four more buttons before getting to see these douchebags. Sort of like cutting back on the rate of Pavlovian reward. Or maybe I could rewire the TV buttons.

But societally, this is an issue, I think. It's not as common as people say, but there are some surprisingly well spoiled kids out there; they've absorbed the Valley lingo and carry iPods like six-shooters, or maybe it's droids, or whatever the hell else is popular now. The boys are probably worse: a hundred drooling knuckle-draggers holding the lowest common denominator of behaviour on a pedestal. I can only imagine how much worse it is elsewhere. There has got to be some legal way to say hold it right there, this crap has no redeeming value.

As for cutting back on things that annoy her, that would clearly be impossible. I am a positive saint, natch.

[Bells]

You see my problem. Yes, it's insidious. But it's not exactly beyond the pale, is it, except in that way that involves reasonability or societal responsibility. I just quizzed her on cutting back, and her response was "well I stopped watching Miami and Atlanta and New York...but I'm not giving up Orange County" and some other collection of spoiled retards, I forget where they are and it doesn't matter.

Oh dear...

I never realised there were so many.

But it is an addiction I guess. Did you ask why she won't give up the other ones? I am assuming they are all of the same genre?

I don't really know what to say that won't sound flippant or possibly insulting to your wife without intending to be flippant or insulting to your wife. But she will need to break out of it. Whether you force the issue or she does it if or when she comes to that realisation that she is, ermm, obsessed with these shows is really up to you. What does she gain out of watching this? Is it a sense of voyeurism? The feeling of "I'm so much better than they are"? The belief that this is what the rich live like? It isn't at all. The shows are heavily scripted and it isn't "reality" but it just feeds the desire of people to see others who are stupid. I suspect it is what made shows like Jackass so popular and why Homer Simpson is so adored by so many of us. We like watching stupid. It amuses us.

You could simply just do something with the children (if they are awake?) in the room with her as she is watching the shows and hopefully she will reconnect with actual reality and leave the shows behind.

It's like salt and sugar: is mankind really equipped to deal with the intriguingly stupid or self-absorbed rich on TV? It probably ties in somehow to some ancient meme about watching other people go through tribulations, since fully half of any of these shows is endless bitching and whining about things so trivial it would make an obsessive-compulsive take a pass on hitting the lightswitch three times before bed because he can't take any more redundancy. It's like bird-calling, maybe: when you go out in the woods and look for birds, or so my ornithology prof insisted, and I didn't care enough to test this in any significant way, you make a "pish-pish" sound which apparently resembles the noise a female wren makes when being murdered. Then the other birds crowd around to see who's getting their plot today, and presumably mentally divy up her estimated territory and resources. Such is life: and maybe humans don't well resist the same kind of voyeristic impulse. That being possible, shouldn't this kind of shit be viciously regulated? I mean, my wife's an adult and we'd still end up watching it anyway, but maybe it would put the experience off if she had to press three or four more buttons before getting to see these douchebags. Sort of like cutting back on the rate of Pavlovian reward. Or maybe I could rewire the TV buttons.

I wouldn't know about "pish-pish" murdered wren sounds..

Film her as she is watching it and then play it back when she is about to sit down to watch it. Let her see her reaction to it.

But societally, this is an issue, I think. It's not as common as people say, but there are some surprisingly well spoiled kids out there; they've absorbed the Valley lingo and carry iPods like six-shooters, or maybe it's droids, or whatever the hell else is popular now. The boys are probably worse: a hundred drooling knuckle-draggers holding the lowest common denominator of behaviour on a pedestal. I can only imagine how much worse it is elsewhere. There has got to be some legal way to say hold it right there, this crap has no redeeming value.

As someone who can afford to buy my children ipods, etc, I simply refuse to. Because I do not want them to grow up like spoiled brats. They are brats anyway, as all kids are in regards to some things, but I do understand what you mean about the praising and venerating of certain behaviour. Their father did not help in such matters, instead making it worse in many instances. I am still trying to break the "AHAHAHAAA I farted" from both of my son's. Their father bought them ipods and a range of other things and hand held games and I confiscated all of it and donated it to charity. They don't need it. We had agreed they had never needed it before the separation, they still don't need it now that we have separated. And they get along fine without it. Sure, they were devastated when I confiscated it all, but they got over it and I keep having to explain why they are better off without it all.

But it is an issue and it is very common. Addiction to such things is very common and becoming more widespread. A quick google on reality TV addiction returned too many sites. It seems that the more popular and ridiculous things look, the more popular it becomes (Brony's are a prime example - Brony's being men and boys who are into 'my lil' pony'.. how and why, I do not understand, but they exist). And it could be why your wife likes watching these shows. Because they are so ridiculous and so obscene that she can feel safe and secure that she is normal compared to these women.

As for cutting back on things that annoy her, that would clearly be impossible. I am a positive saint, natch.

Uh huh....

[Asguard]

Umm bells, just out of intrest how would YOU react if YOU gave them a present and HE decided unilaterally to take it off them and do whatever with it? Wonder how the family court and even small claims court would react to that. If you didn't want them to have it you should have given it back to him or told him to keep it at his place. What you did sounds petty and illegal because it wasn't your property to give away, it belonged to him. Just because he was a bastard to you doesn't mean you should pull the same shit on him using the children as weapons

[Bells]

Umm bells, just out of intrest how would YOU react if YOU gave them a present and HE decided unilaterally to take it off them and do whatever with it? Wonder how the family court and even small claims court would react to that. If you didn't want them to have it you should have given it back to him or told him to keep it at his place. What you did sounds petty and illegal because it wasn't your property to give away, it belonged to him. Just because he was a bastard to you doesn't mean you should pull the same shit on him using the children as weapons

Why did it give it away? It's really none of your business. But since you seem to think it is acceptable to judge how I parent my children...

Was it petty and illegal? No. He bought it with my money and gave it to them in a bid to get them to move in with him (which they refused) - ie.. come live with daddy and you can have all of this.. He knew how I felt about such "toys" and while we were married, he was just as adamant about it, hence why they never received such toys. Not only did he buy it with my money, he also told the children they were to keep it in my house.

Get it yet? He used our children as weapons. I just took away his ability to do so. The sudden expensive and elaborate gifts.. That is how you use your kids as a weapon and as pawns... And my children deserve better than that.

[Asguard]

You posted it on a public forum so get off your high horse about being judged, of everyone had sai what a brilliant thing you did you would have welcomed that, so suck it up princess

[Bells]

You posted it on a public forum so get off your high horse about being judged, of everyone had sai what a brilliant thing you did you would have welcomed that, so suck it up princess

Speaking of high horses..

Could you be more condescending and sexist?

How about you go away, and leave me alone? How about you go and lecture other poor unsuspecting women about how they should act, behave, etc? How about you stop judging about things you know nothing about and assuming things about what you obviously know nothing about? Hmm? Do you think that sounds like a good plan? I think it does.

[GeoffP]

Oh dear...

I never realised there were so many.

But it is an addiction I guess. Did you ask why she won't give up the other ones? I am assuming they are all of the same genre?

Oh yes. It's not that she needs to break out of it per se. She doesn't watch them to the exclusion of all else. It's just that they're so objectionable and obnoxious that I'm beginning to feel nauseated when they come on the air. I slap on the headphones, but they have the air of moral poison. I suppose I could try telling her how they're disturbing, but then again maybe I should just pull my pants up and get over it. Maybe I'm just obsessing.

You could simply just do something with the children (if they are awake?) in the room with her as she is watching the shows and hopefully she will reconnect with actual reality and leave the shows behind.

Oh the kids are long a-bed. She's very careful about all that.

I wouldn't know about "pish-pish" murdered wren sounds..

Film her as she is watching it and then play it back when she is about to sit down to watch it. Let her see her reaction to it.

I've never birded in my life, but I was told this was so. :shrugs: As for her reaction, it's sort of the classic TV reaction: glassy stare. I probably look the same...but then again, as I think about it, I haven't really been watching much TV. With me it's just in the background as I work on the computer. Maybe that's my problem in response then: too much computer time.

I commend your confiscation of the iPod. My eldest has one and even the wife admits it was a mistake of sorts; sheer peer pressure buy.

But it is an issue and it is very common. Addiction to such things is very common and becoming more widespread. A quick google on reality TV addiction returned too many sites. It seems that the more popular and ridiculous things look, the more popular it becomes (Brony's are a prime example - Brony's being men and boys who are into 'my lil' pony'.. how and why, I do not understand, but they exist). And it could be why your wife likes watching these shows. Because they are so ridiculous and so obscene that she can feel safe and secure that she is normal compared to these women.

The innate weirdness of My Little Pony being what it is, I can almost see the appeal couched in those terms.

[Bells]

Oh yes. It's not that she needs to break out of it per se. She doesn't watch them to the exclusion of all else. It's just that they're so objectionable and obnoxious that I'm beginning to feel nauseated when they come on the air. I slap on the headphones, but they have the air of moral poison. I suppose I could try telling her how they're disturbing, but then again maybe I should just pull my pants up and get over it. Maybe I'm just obsessing.

When my mother got into watching this weird show, I can't remember the name, my father took to sitting there next to her and asking her constant questions about each and every single character in the show. I think it was a soap or something bizarre. She held out for about 2 weeks before he drove her up the wall and she could not concentrate enough on it to actually watch it for his constant questions about it.

It was one of the very few occasions I have ever heard her swear when she called me about it.

Oh the kids are long a-bed. She's very careful about all that.

Heh!

I've never birded in my life, but I was told this was so. :shrugs: As for her reaction, it's sort of the classic TV reaction: glassy stare. I probably look the same...but then again, as I think about it, I haven't really been watching much TV. With me it's just in the background as I work on the computer. Maybe that's my problem in response then: too much computer time.

It could be. Depending on what you do on the computer...? Gaming or something could cause that revenge thing I guess?

I commend your confiscation of the iPod. My eldest has one and even the wife admits it was a mistake of sorts; sheer peer pressure buy.

Yes well. Apparently, according to Asguard, I am a bad parent.

But within 2 days of their getting them from their father, they had stopped leaving the house to go and play outside. They actually refused to. My normally constantly active children had been reduced to glassy eyed zombies staring at these things. So enough was enough. I warned them twice about it, imposed time limits on when they could play it and it got to the point where they whined the whole time they could not play with them. So I confiscated all of it and gave it away to charity. They weren't happy about it, but I'd rather they be angry about that than miss out on their childhood because their faces are glued to DS' and ipods.. They are way too young for it. My rule is that they can buy it themselves when they get a job after school - when they are old enough to.

They have a Wii, but that is restricted to two hours all up on weekends.. or when it rains they can play it for an hour.. And they barely touch it because they are usually too busy doing other things. And that is how it should be.

The innate weirdness of My Little Pony being what it is, I can almost see the appeal couched in those terms.

It's just wrong!

[GeoffP]

When my mother got into watching this weird show, I can't remember the name, my father took to sitting there next to her and asking her constant questions about each and every single character in the show. I think it was a soap or something bizarre. She held out for about 2 weeks before he drove her up the wall and she could not concentrate enough on it to actually watch it for his constant questions about it.

It was one of the very few occasions I have ever heard her swear when she called me about it.

I do that with her soaps, but I think it's having the effect of me becoming vaguely interested in their little stories. It does annoy her, but I can't bring myself to keep after her long enough to get her to stop. Also, her anger scares me a little. But for the Housewives shows, I think I might try that. Thanks for the suggestion.

Heh!

Kinda lost me on that one.

It could be. Depending on what you do on the computer...? Gaming or something could cause that revenge thing I guess?

Sort of. Mostly it's wasting time when I can't bring myself to write anything. It tortures me far more than it could ever torture her, and she knows it. But maybe. I think she just likes the shows though.

Yes well. Apparently, according to Asguard, I am a bad parent.

But within 2 days of their getting them from their father, they had stopped leaving the house to go and play outside. They actually refused to. My normally constantly active children had been reduced to glassy eyed zombies staring at these things. So enough was enough. I warned them twice about it, imposed time limits on when they could play it and it got to the point where they whined the whole time they could not play with them. So I confiscated all of it and gave it away to charity. They weren't happy about it, but I'd rather they be angry about that than miss out on their childhood because their faces are glued to DS' and ipods.. They are way too young for it. My rule is that they can buy it themselves when they get a job after school - when they are old enough to.

They have a Wii, but that is restricted to two hours all up on weekends.. or when it rains they can play it for an hour.. And they barely touch it because they are usually too busy doing other things. And that is how it should be.

Precisely. My kid has a friend who has an iPod and she comes over and they hang out, fiddling around on the fucking things. Doing nothing of any note. I would gladly break my kid's one; he's away at camp and I'm considering making it have a mysterious disappearance.

It's just wrong!

Is it? Is it, Bells? Or does it just remind us of a simpler time when problems were trivial, everyone got along ultimately and tiny horses were all different colours and had wings and horns?

[GeoffP]

You posted it on a public forum so get off your high horse about being judged, of everyone had sai what a brilliant thing you did you would have welcomed that, so suck it up princess

Oi. Taking a present away isn't going to endear herself to her kids. If anything it should theoretically make them less happy with her. So she's not using them as weapons, she's taking responsibility for their development - and, presumably, sticking to the original plan. And apparently they were bought with her money, too.

[joepistole]

I think you need a man cave, a no drama zone.

[GeoffP]

I would but isn't that sort of trite and nouveaux?