07-16-11, 09:45 PM #1081
07-17-11, 01:04 AM #1082
@ Anti-flag: I think it was the low self-esteem part that really stung.
And Cosmic, that picture...nobody would look good in those shorts and that pose...so it was like, deliberately ugly, I thought.
Just bugged me, is all, I suppose-the low self-esteem of fat women isn't because of the fat itself, it's because of the crap they get for being fat.
And while I know losing weight can happen, I also know what an ordeal it is.
I know a lot of big ladies ( I live in what's probably the fried food capital of America, alright? Wal-Marts here carry 6x large now...) who don't have the low self-esteem issue. I'm at eight pounds under the overweight threshold for my height, and people at my job tell me I'm too thin.
I still seriously dislike myself and have since I was about 10, though. Meaning the self-esteem issue in my case predates the fat.
But I'm special.
I respect that I'm strong enough to lose the weight? but I still don't like myself.
It's off to the therapist again with me.
Incidentally, DarksidZz could use therapy and I've said so before...
He's not bad looking, he's not dumb, he's not necessarily that bad of a guy...although he has been observed to make impulsive bad decisions.
Here's my interweb analysis:
I think D got his balls busted by his dad so much when D was a kid that D doesn't think he can do anything right.
So he doesn't do anything. Except that, when D does do something?
D has been told SO MUCH that "You can't do anything right!" by his verbally abusive and ball-busting dad.
And D subconsciously agrees with his dad.
So when he does act he often shoots himself in the foot.
So D needs to go get therapy to reprocess things and change the way he acts, and maybe some happy pills too, as D seems to end up sitting around a lot(?), which might be dysthymia.
There ya go, bill's in the mail .
Last edited by chimpkin; 07-17-11 at 01:09 AM.
07-17-11, 05:42 PM #1083
07-18-11, 01:14 PM #1084
I found out abit more what happened. I guess she dumped me last year in dec but didn't tell me really she was with this other guy until April when all contact vanished. But her affections sure did stop in dec. So anyway a friend told me he would cheat on her regularly and always give her an excuse which she'd accept and take him back. Now he did it again for whatever how many times he has and she decided to break up. But psychics said she still loves him and im just a thing she uses to distract herself. Anyway so she obviously likes men that cheat and that's not me, she needs a tough guy and a cheater i guess.
07-18-11, 02:06 PM #1085
Wait, psychics? Don't listen to psychics! You can't afford to be choosy, man! Take her while she's available. If you don't, don't f-ing complain here about how lonely you are and how you can't find anyone. She doesn't like men that cheat, she likes men that have enough going on to play the field. It sounds like she's tired of that and may want someone with your particular qualities, someone who can't cheat on her even if he wanted to.
07-18-11, 02:11 PM #1086
HERE LIES DARKSIDZZ.
HE NEVER ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING
BECAUSE HE WAS LAZY AND AFRAID.
WHAT A WASTE OF LIFE.
07-18-11, 03:22 PM #1087
07-18-11, 03:39 PM #1088
07-18-11, 05:17 PM #1089
Here we are in a place where trolls of all kinds regularly post up threads just to see what other members will say in reaction. Staff cheerfully participates in this.
This thread is no different from any of those - the crux of the dog - biscuit is the responses and their emotional content, the personal issues that pop up and the retorts that get thrown. Science? Not so much.
Hey - some of us are floor mats and need to have someone treat us mean to satisfy some emotional need. So what?
I will give you what you asked for Darkie, but no advice. If you want her to put her cigarettes out on your naked flesh for shifts and grins, go for it!
My first love was right out of high school. She was beautiful, well built and very attractive. Also very greedy....
"everyone knows you were discrete,
but there were so many people you just had to meet,
without your' clothes...and everybody knows." Leonard Cohen
She was always out banging some rich fellow behind my back. I would quit her, then a few months later she would get tired of it and beg me to take her back. I was a doormat, so I did.
This went on for many years. Then she met this rapist. He had a corvette and a house and lots of money. He raped her. She stuck with him and moved in with him. That worked out for a couple of months, then she was back knocking at my door, begging me to see her again.
Like a fool I bit, said OK. She went back home to get her stuff..then didn't come back. Turned out they had a super - hot sex session when she went home to pack. I didn't hear from her for a couple more weeks, then lather, rinse repeat. This time she let slip what was up.
His dick did not work unless I was in the picture somewhere. If he thought she was seeing me, he was hot to trot and ready to go. If I was gone, his dick did not work. If he found out that she had seen me, that was the cue for a major makeout session, after he had slapped her around a bit. She figured this out and was using me to keep it hot with him.
I moved out of town, got an unlisted phone number and instructed everyone who had my contact info not to give it to her. Yes, she tried. That was many years ago and I have never regretted dumping her like the cheap trash she was.
07-18-11, 06:24 PM #1090
Wow now that is one hell of a story, holy cow! I mean I'm just stunned, she must've been really damn hot huh? WOWWWW
07-19-11, 05:43 AM #1091
07-19-11, 06:30 AM #1092
Yeah Darkie, she was indeed pretty hot (strawberry blonde hair down to her butt, blue eyes, very well built, nice knockers and a beautiful smile...) among other things, unfortunately. Also, as I said, at that time I was a door mat. If you put me in front of a group of 100 women, I could not only pick out the worst abuser in the group, but fall head over heels for her on the spot.
Sadly, when I quit pursuing abusive women, they turned around and chased me instead. I ended up marrying a total bitch. That lasted 5 & 1/2 years before I divorced her. (She never asked to come back, I would not have taken her back if she had. I did end up calling the police out on her a few times when she got too violent though.)
After the divorce, I got some (more) counseling and made substantial personal adjustments in how I pursued romantic interests. I took a hiatus from dating for a couple of years, spent lots of time in the back country hiking with my dog.
My current wife (21 years married now) is very strong, very attractive and a serious athlete. We share many interests - like mountain climbing, backpacking, martial arts and distance running. She is not abusive and is smart enough that we can actually sit down and talk through any difficulties we may encounter. No violence, no abuse, no anger or bad feelings involved. It was well worth the wait.
07-19-11, 08:15 AM #1093
This one told me I was the one, but a week later wanted to "take things slower". I correctly surmised she just found the NBBT (next bigger better thing). After a week she wants to start up again, I say sure we didn't give it a full chance...and before we can even start dating again, she got another millionaire on a hook. lol wtf just pick one and fucking go with it. I don't get it.
Stay the fuck away from them, it's not worth it. I think they are just fine to be friends with though, it's a trip to walk around in public and see all the men with their wives IN HAND stare at her. The World is a fucked up place.
07-19-11, 09:58 AM #1094
07-19-11, 10:12 AM #1095nietzschefan
it's a trip to walk around in public and see all the men with their wives IN HAND stare at her. The World is a fucked up place.
07-19-11, 10:30 AM #1096
07-19-11, 01:29 PM #1097
This thread is very interesting. It clearly is demonstrating that while certain.....ahem......physical attributes and their display...... will draw the predictable biological response from most men, that they are indeed looking for more in a partner than mere 'window dressing'.
Your sharing may prove to be valuable advice to some of the less experienced forum members, Stoniphi, as it sounds as though you have paid some dues and made some correct choices to redirect your focus and life.
My congratulations to yourself and your wife of 21 years for demonstrating that some things are worth waiting for and striving to maintain. Relationships take work, but they are an investment in oneself that offers tangible and lasting benefits.
07-20-11, 06:16 AM #1098
I thank you for your kind words, good lady. I also consider my earlier experiences to be 'paying dues' to learn some important lessons.
Compatibility is a serious factor in establishing and maintaining interpersonal relationships, as is the ability to have an open honest discussion of serious issues and to reach mutually acceptable compromise in problem solving.
If I hadn't screwed up so many relationships when I was younger I likely would not have pursued my education as far or as long as I did to try and figure out why this happened. I am very glad that I did so, and that I did the counseling. It has given me a calm and security that I did not possess back then.
As to looking at other women: It is always a great pleasure to see a beautiful woman, and we men are very fortunate that there are so many beautiful women in this world to admire. However, one must always value what one has, and if you keep yourself attractive, so will your mate. I thank my wife almost every day for marrying me and for keeping herself attractive. She seems to enjoy that quite a lot.
07-20-11, 06:59 AM #1099
My wife has put up with me.
I find this very attractive in a partner.
She has put up with me for 9 years, therefore she is by far the most attractive person I have ever been with.
07-20-11, 08:30 AM #1100
I've was deceived and betrayed by my ex so trust that I once had has been lost forever because people change over time and no one really knows how that change will affect a marriage or any relationship for that matter. I'm not saying that I too didn't change as well but never to the point of betrayal of someone I loved once. This kind of problem happens many times and can't be prevented so I don't bother trying to find anyone else ever again. It is much better for me because I'd never be able to trust again so therefore anyone I'd become friends with, I'd never trust them enough to become a loving relationship. I'd like to have someone to love but could never be able to trust so that won't be fair to them.
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