The Santorum File

[Tiassa]

Philadelphia Newspaper to United States: We're Sorry About Santorum

It's a fine how-do-you-do from the state Rick Santorum served for sixteen years.

The Philadelphia Daily News, a day after the former U.S. Senator, who also served four years in the House of Representatives, declared his candidacy for president, offered up its apology to the nation:

Dear People of the United States:

We are sorry about this. We thought we had done our part. When Santorum ran for a third term as U.S. senator among the people who know him best, he lost by an astonishing 17 points. We don't like him; we really don't like him. We assumed he would get the message.

The flamboyant Republican even rattles cages among his own party. Last month, after Santorum claimed that U.S. Senator and former GOP presidential candidate John McCain, who survived five years in a Vietnamese prison camp, didn't understand torture, Mark Salter, a former advisor to the Arizona senator explained, "But for pure, blind stupidity, nobody beats Santorum. In my 20 years in the Senate, I never met a dumber member, which he reminded me of today."

And that's the same Mark Salter who helped McCain write a book called The Education of an American Maverick, as well as surviving the occasion that the senator tried to claim he never thought of himself as a maverick.

Point being: Salter has seen some political stupidity in his time, and frothy Rick Santorum is the crown jewel.

I mean, come on. What the hell is Santorum thinking?
____________________

Notes:

Philadelphia Daily News. "Sorry for Santorum!" Daily News Digital. June 7, 2011. Philly.com. June 7, 2011. http://www.philly.com/philly/opinion...Santorum_.html

FOX News. "Santorum: McCain Doesn't Understand Interrogation". May 18, 2011. FOXNews.com. June 7, 2011. http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011...interrogation/

[superstring01]

Isn't there. . . . . Ummmmmm. . . . [squirming]. . . . Ahhhhh. . . . Something a little on the yucky side that has been named sortuv in honor of Mr. Santorum?

~String

[Tiassa]

Ayuh.

[superstring01]

Yeah. Like I said. Eckkk.

~String

[Tiassa]

Well, Santorum decided to ... uh ... screw with the homosexuals, and they certainly screwed him right back. I know I've mentioned this before, but at one point in all that, the Wall Street Journal's profanity filters were blocking Santorum's name from posting in the comments.

Meanwhile, I think we can all find Frothy Rick's driver in the cartoon below:

Jeff Danziger, June 5, 2011

I know, I know. But that's the problem with the early campaign season. Right now, we're in the comedy phase.

[Tiassa]

Suck on This, or, A Foregone Conclusion

Dan Savage looks forward to a moment we all know is coming:

Lawrence O'Donnell went ahead and stated the bleeding frothing obvious earlier this week: "Rick Santorum's campaign will be ending soon." Can't argue with that. Rick's not raising any money, he's not making any inroads with Republican primary voters in Iowa or New Hampshire or anywhere else, and those adorable eggheads at Slate were wrong: the "frothy mix" definition of santorum has not lost its search primacy. SpreadingSantorum.com is still #1.

As we look forward to the end of Rick Santorum's campaign—and no one is looking forward to it more than I am—we shouldn't be confused about what Rick Santorum was actually out there campaigning for. I hate having to break this any little old ladies who sent Rick checks after he explained that marriage is a napkin and gay marriage is a paper towel, but Santorum was never running for president. A man who lost his Senate seat by 18 points—and lost it to an empty suit like Bob Casey—would have to be more delusional than even Rick Santorum to think he could get his ass elected president. Santorum can't even top Barack Obama in the polls in his home state of Pennsylvania. President? He never stood a chance. And he knew it.

Rick Santorum was never running for president. He was campaigning for four more years on Fox News ....

Blown: Rick Santorum's campaign never got off the launch pad.

While few ever took Santorum's campaign seriously—the Pennsylvania Pariah raised all of $582,000 in the second quarter, while infamous spendaholic and equally incredible right-wing raver Newt Gingrich managed about two million; even among rhetorical bombers, Santorum can't find traction—it is worth noting this latest prediction that he won't survive the Ames Straw Poll slated for this weekend if only for this quote: "Santorum trails Fred Karger, the openly gay Republican stunt-candidate, in some polls. (Looks like God was just fucking with you, Rick.)"

(A note on the above: In May, Karen Santorum explained to the Christian Broadcasting Network that her husband was running for president because they "believe with all [their] hearts that this is what God wants". Maybe God wasn't fucking with Santorum; that is, perhaps placing behind the guy FOX News won't let take part in the debate in a few polls would be good for the homoerotically obsessed former senator.)

Santorum thought his record of rabid anti-gay bigotry would help him raise enough money to run a plausible campaign. It didn't. Anti-gay bigotry remains hugely important to the GOP base, of course, because beating up on the queers makes folks in red states—with their higher rates of divorce, teen pregnancy, and out-of-wedlock births—feel like they're right with God. But anti-gay bigotry isn't enough anymore. Because they're all anti-gay bigots now. Bachmann's a lunatic bigot, Perry's a Confederate bigot, Palin's a sub-literate bigot, Romney's an opportunistic bigot, Gingrich's a hypocritical bigot. And Rick Santorum?

He's yesterday's bigot.

(Savage)

I do wonder, though ... when Rick Santorum goes out in public with his family, do people laugh at him to his face, behind his back, or later with friends. ("Dude, you won't believe who I just saw at the restaurant ...." Well, I know never to eat there again.)

It must be hard living with the ever-present stain of being Rick Santorum.
____________________

Notes:

Savage, Dan. "Yesterday's Bigot". Slog. August 11, 2011. Slog.TheStranger.com. August 11, 2011. http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/arc...sterdays-bigot

Goldstein, David. "Karen Santorum: 'God Wants' My Crazy Bigot Husband to Run for President". Slog. May 4, 2011. Slog.TheStranger.com. August 11, 2011. http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/arc...-for-president

[superstring01]

Dude. . . as I scrolled down and skimmed over your post, for some reason my eyes zoned in--mostly--on the word (and its variants) : "frothing". . . then as I continued to scroll, that picture of him deep-throating that [what the fuck is that?], I burst out laughing so loud that my cat jumped up off my lap, clawing his nails into my thighs as he scurried away in fear.

Well played sir.

~String

[Tiassa]

It's an ice cream cone.

I do hope you're not subject to the fever as a result.

[superstring01]

No to the cat scratch fever. Yes. . . to a sudden desire for icecream right now.

~String

[Tiassa]

I'll never be able to look at chocolate soft-serve with a straight face again: Santorum, please, in a sugar cone?

[Repo Man]

Candidates for president face unusual scrutiny. Every closet skeleton gets brought out, dusted, and put on display. As a fourteen year old paying attention to the race for president in 1979, I hadn't heard anything about Ted Kennedy and Chappaquiddick prior to his attempt to wrest the Democratic nomination from Carter; but you couldn't not know about it by 1980.

It's too bad Santorum's campaign didn't last long enough for this little gem to be brought out for all who missed it the first time around.

In his Senate office, on a shelf next to an autographed baseball, Sen. Rick Santorum keeps a framed photo of his son Gabriel Michael, the fourth of his seven children. Named for two archangels, Gabriel Michael was born prematurely, at 20 weeks, on Oct. 11, 1996, and lived two hours outside the womb.

Upon their son's death, Rick and Karen Santorum opted not to bring his body to a funeral home. Instead, they bundled him in a blanket and drove him to Karen's parents' home in Pittsburgh. There, they spent several hours kissing and cuddling Gabriel with his three siblings, ages 6, 4 and 1 1/2. They took photos, sang lullabies in his ear and held a private Mass.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...2005Apr17.html

[Tiassa]

Santorum's Moment?

With Newt Gingrich atop the ever-shifting GOP presidential race, one wonders who will come next, or if calendar reality is fortuitous for the disgraced former Speaker of the House. But if the doughy Georgia Loaf manages to fumble his lead, who will take his place?

Texas Rep. Ron Paul has seen his popularity growing in Iowa, but he plays stronger in fields where supporter activism has a more direct influence on results. Former Ambassador Jon Huntsman continues to languish in the GOP cellar, though he has recently picked up some positive press from George Will and Erick Erickson.

Rick Santorum, though, might well have an advantage over his fellow cellar-dweller. If the Newsmax debate scheduled for December 27 with possible insurgent candidate Donald Trump playing the role of moderator actually occurs, the Pennsylvania ejaculator of rude politics is one of only two candidates who have agreed to attend.

Brad Knickerbocker considers the Trump-tacular debate for The Christian Science Monitor:

What if they gave a debate and nobody came?

It hasn’t quite come down to that for the Dec. 27 Newsmax/ION Television event scheduled to be moderated by Donald Trump – not yet, anyway.

But with just Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum agreeing to participate and everybody else otherwise engaged, it’s sounding more and more like that televised “debate” between Mr. Gingrich and Herman Cain some time back (which was more like the meeting of a mutual-admiration society).

The latest to RSVP in the negative is Michele Bachmann, who’d already met four times with Trump and would be happy to have his endorsement. Rick Perry says he respects Trump “very much,” but he’s just going to be really, really busy with “traditional retail campaigning in the days and weeks leading up to the Iowa caucus.”

Jon Huntsman and Ron Paul have dismissed the notion of answering Trump’s questions as if they were competitors on “The Apprentice.” (It may be worth noting here that Trump is a big fan of professional wrestling and has hosted WrestleMania events at Trump Plaza. I apologize if that brings to mind the image of Gingrich and Mr. Santorum in tights.)

With many expecting Newtonian Momentum to approach critical mass as the days go by, "Mandog" Santorum might well be the candidate best positioned to receive the spatter of conservative voters blown from the blast radius.

The Penn Hills Screamer, by dint of actually taking part in the debate, might well be the most visible among remaining candidates should the Newtron Bomb go off.

Either way, don't forget your raincoat.
____________________

Notes:

Knickerbocker, Brad. "Donald Trump to moderate GOP debate. But what if nobody shows up?" The Christian Sscience Monitor. December 9, 2011. CSMonitor.com. December 9, 2011. http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Politic...obody-shows-up

[superstring01]

Heh, heh, heh. . . .

You said "santorum".

Heh, heh, heh.

~String

[Tiassa]

Santorum Wants Politics—er ... Science—Out of Education

There is little to say that former Senator Spatter hasn't already said well enough for himself:

Former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum said today he favors eliminating federal funding for education and the bureaucratic strings attached to federal programs for schools ....

.... Discussing controversial classroom subjects such as evolution and global warming, Santorum said he has suggested that "science should get out of politics" and he is opposed to teaching that provides a "politically correct perspective."

(Petroski)

I suppose one might try to say something here about how political correctness is an entirely separate issue from scientific validity, but, really, what good would it do? There isn't much of an undecided bloc on this one. Either facts or facts, or they are mere political correctness.

Watch where you step; it wouldn't do well at all to slip on the santorum he's spreading. Oh, and clean your shoes. You certainly don't want to be tracking that inside.
____________________

Notes:

Petroski, William. "Santorum: Parents, not Obama, know what is best for their child's education". 2012 Iowa Caucuses. December 9, 2011. Caucuses.DesMoinesRegister.com. December 9, 2011. http://caucuses.desmoinesregister.co...lds-education/

[joepistole]

It looks like Santorum may have hit the jackpot with an endorsement of Rupert Murdoch. Santorum doesn't need money now. Now Santorum has a media mogul to give him all the media exposure he needs for free.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/media-...HRlc3QD;_ylv=3

[superstring01]

I love [errr. . . . rather regret, that is] that ONLY in America can the claim that "science should get out of politics" be regarded by ANY group (no matter how small) as a reasonable demand. Fucking idiotic. And the fact that I have family members who like that guy (an uncle, for example) is mind boggling.

Does Santorum refuse to use any of the science--developed by godless people--on his campaign? The internet? Cell phones? Modern medicine?

I can't say that I hate that man enough. I utterly despise him and find myself wishing that he falls during a debate and brakes his neck. But then I realize that--despite the hundreds of gay suicides that I can directly attribute to his clan's thinking--I should rise to another level.

~String

[joepistole]

As long as Santorum doesn't gain too much ground, Santorum's rise in the polls could benefit Romney. Romney needs for the "Anyone but Romney Voters", which is about 75 percent of the party, to be as fractured as possible in order to win the party nomination. As Romney has not been able to capture more than 25% of the Republican vote. Which is kind of funny, given the fact that he is trying to pass himself off as a unifier. Romney The Unifier can't even unify his own party so how is he going to unify the nation?

[superstring01]

Tell me you saw "The Daily Show's" skit on Santorum, where they showed Wolf Blitzer describing the color coding on the map of Iowa. . . "The brown you see on the map is Santorum."

I'm not shitting you.

~String

[Bells]

When you can't get out of it, deny.. deny.. deny..

__________________________________________________ ___

Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum denied recently making comments about "black people's lives" after receiving criticism for the remarks.

Santorum took heat after saying, "I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money." During an appearance on FOX News Channel's "The O'Reilly Factor," he denied ever making the comments, saying the remark was the result of "a little bit of a blurred word."

"I looked at that, and I didn't say that," Santorum told O'Reilly. "If you look at it, what I started to say is a word and then sort of changed and it sort of -- blah -- came out. And people said I said 'black.' I didn't."

[Source]

Hmmmm...

So I went back and watched the video.

Here is a transcript of what he actually said:

"It just keeps expanding - I was in Indianola a few months ago and I was talking to someone who works in the department of public welfare here, and she told me that the state of Iowa is going to get fined if they don't sign up more people under the Medicaid program," Santorum said. "They're just pushing harder and harder to get more and more of you dependent upon them so they can get your vote. That's what the bottom line is."

He added: "I don't want to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money."

Here is what he is trying to claim he said:

"It just keeps expanding - I was in Indianola a few months ago and I was talking to someone who works in the department of public welfare here, and she told me that the state of Iowa is going to get fined if they don't sign up more people under the Medicaid program," Santorum said. "They're just pushing harder and harder to get more and more of you dependent upon them so they can get your vote. That's what the bottom line is."

He added: "I don't want to make blah people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money; I want to give them the opportunity to go out and earn the money."

And this is the guy who came second in the Iowa Caucus?

[Tiassa]

Tell me you saw "The Daily Show's" skit on Santorum, where they showed Wolf Blitzer describing the color coding on the map of Iowa. . . "The brown you see on the map is Santorum."

Wasn't that someone from FOX News? I'll have to go back and watch it again. But, for those who missed it: "The Corn Identity".

• • •

When you can't get out of it, deny.. deny.. deny..

I think it only makes him look more, you know, regular. More human. More—er—American.

He didn't say it. Okay, whatever. We have him on video saying it, so what he's actually claiming is that the video is somehow incorrect: "If you look at it, what I started to say is a word and then sort of changed and it sort of—blah—came out. And people said I said 'black.' I didn't." I mean, it almost reminds me of Sciforums, which, yeah, I can see as kind of endearing in a way. If I was a Republican.

Of course, Senator Mandog, if we are to take him as genuine, has no idea why anyone would want to play a cruel practical joke on him, either. So, yeah, we can expect him to think that if he just serves us up a steaming bowl of santorum, we ought to gobble it down and say, "Please, sir, may I have ... more?"

Illustration by George Cruikshank, 1837

Right now Iowa's best excuse for backing Santorum as their Republicans did is that they jumped on the Anybody But Mitt bandwagon without looking into the candidate.