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Thread: Maldive Marriage. Seriously weird!

  1. #1
    All aboard, me Hearties! Captain Kremmen's Avatar
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    Maldive Marriage. Seriously weird!

    Follow on from Cat woman is the Maldive Wedding.

    This couple had a strange experience.
    They had their Paradise Beach wedding filmed and put it on Youtube.
    Then people started telling them what was going on.
    Turns out the "religious" ceremony consisted of reading stuff out of legal manuals and insults.
    Some of it is weird in the extreme.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5H64OOkeXA

  2. #2
    solanaceous common tater Spud Emperor's Avatar
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    So..umm why did the Maldivian chicken cross the road?

    Running away from the rampant honeymooning bridegroom.

    I don't know how the entourage kept straight faces.
    I'm reminded of an experience in Malaysia, Pulau Tioman, we stayed at a half arsed resort run by get this, Hafaz (local pronunciation Harf Arz)
    I loved Hafaz, he was a bewdy. He ran Hafaz fishing charters (on a seriously half arsed boat), Hafaz restoran, Hafaz jungle trek etc. etc. etc.
    Fuck I laughed. Being an uncouth Aussie yob, I'd often ask Hafaz," Harf arse it?" (how far is it) to the store etc.

    I loved the bit in the video where the 'celebrant' tells his mate " I wouldn't fuck 'er with your dick mate!"

    Classic!

  3. #3
    All aboard, me Hearties! Captain Kremmen's Avatar
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    Maldive Weddings.


    The dream


    The reality

    I liked the bit where they started singing a religious sounding chant and they were calling them motherfuckers.
    And the bit here they start insulting his trousers.
    And what about the bit where he says looking at her breasts has turned his beard grey?

    It is driving Americans potty.
    Being oblivious to irony, they can make no sense of it at all.
    They want the Maldives nuked in response.
    Last edited by Captain Kremmen; 10-29-10 at 02:37 AM.

  4. #4
    All aboard, me Hearties! Captain Kremmen's Avatar
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    It has its amusing aspect, but I wouldn't trust those guys an inch.
    I didn't laugh at all on my first viewing.
    I don't know if they are joking, but they are sinister.
    Lot's of people here will be able to judge far better than myself.
    Is it irony or what?
    Personally, if I was considering visiting the Maldives, I would hesitate based just on this.

    Their heads seem screwed up by half-boiled religious ideas, and drugs probably.
    I wonder if they are not far away from worse crimes.
    Last edited by Captain Kremmen; 10-29-10 at 01:07 PM.

  5. #5
    All aboard, me Hearties! Captain Kremmen's Avatar
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    This thread isn't doing very well.
    Can I change the title to "Evil Muslims Mock Christian Wedding" please?

  6. #6
    uniquely dreadful S.A.M.'s Avatar
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    Do the words matter? I mean if you go to some place where you don't even know the language and don't comprehend what is being asked, its entirely a matter of faith what you believe you are answering to. As long as the marriage is registered and legitimate legally, it shouldn't matter if they were singing nursery rhymes or reading multiplication tables. People place far too much importance on ceremony and not enough on what really matters.

  7. #7
    solanaceous common tater Spud Emperor's Avatar
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    So if I'm up on a chook adultery charge. I can site my vows and get off scot free.

    I love it.

    SAM, if I ever get married again.You can do my ceremony in Hindi. Just make sure it's fully bent.

  8. #8
    uniquely dreadful S.A.M.'s Avatar
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    Have you seen The Guru? There is no business like show business. I'm not surprised at the Maldivians mocking the ceremony, its the kind of passive aggression that is common in power equations of the sort, but I'm truly surprised at the naivety of the couple.

  9. #9
    solanaceous common tater Spud Emperor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by S.A.M. View Post
    its the kind of passive aggression that is common in power equations of the sort,
    My life exemplified, categorised and pilloried in one fell swoop.

    /kowtow.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by S.A.M. View Post
    Do the words matter? I mean if you go to some place where you don't even know the language and don't comprehend what is being asked, its entirely a matter of faith what you believe you are answering to. As long as the marriage is registered and legitimate legally, it shouldn't matter if they were singing nursery rhymes or reading multiplication tables. People place far too much importance on ceremony and not enough on what really matters.
    Of course..

    Because everyone wants to be called a motherfucker and accused of having sex with animals during one's wedding ceremony.

  11. #11
    solanaceous common tater Spud Emperor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bells View Post
    Of course..

    Because everyone wants to be called a motherfucker and accused of having sex with animals during one's wedding ceremony.
    Amen!

  12. #12
    solanaceous common tater Spud Emperor's Avatar
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    I've got a new business plan.

    The dark wedding celebrant.I think it might have legs.

    "Dear motherfuckers, we are gathered here today, to join this prick and this prime bitch.....etc, etc. ad nauseum."

    The scope is endless.

  13. #13
    uniquely dreadful S.A.M.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bells View Post
    Of course..

    Because everyone wants to be called a motherfucker and accused of having sex with animals during one's wedding ceremony.
    They apparently went through with it, so they mustn't have had any objections. They even put it up on youtube. Oh wait, they didn't comprehend a single word of their own wedding ceremony you say? So do they consider themselves not married now?

    Quote Originally Posted by Spud Emperor View Post
    I've got a new business plan.

    The dark wedding celebrant.I think it might have legs.

    "Dear motherfuckers, we are gathered here today, to join this prick and this prime bitch.....etc, etc. ad nauseum."

    The scope is endless.
    Exactly.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by S.A.M. View Post
    Have you seen The Guru? There is no business like show business. I'm not surprised at the Maldivians mocking the ceremony, its the kind of passive aggression that is common in power equations of the sort, but I'm truly surprised at the naivety of the couple.
    Are they naive that Maldivians now can't be trusted at all?

    Now watch the marriage and wedding tourism take a nosedive in a country that relies so much on tourism in the first place. I would say it is the hotel staff who snorted with laughter and went along with it who are naive. Because they now face the prospect of "naive" couples taking their business and money elsewhere, you know.. where they won't be accused of fucking animals and be called names during their wedding ceremony.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by S.A.M. View Post
    They apparently went through with it, so they mustn't have had any objections. They even put it up on youtube. Oh wait, they didn't comprehend a single word of their own wedding ceremony you say? So do they consider themselves not married now?
    Ummm Sam...

    It was a hotel staff member who put it on youtube with the translations. The couple were unaware that it was going on, so they "went along with it" as you claim, without any knowledge of it.

    It wasn't the couple who posted it on youtube with the translation, but the people who filmed it (ie the hotel staff members).

    And if you watch the video, it is quite clear. They are prompted to respond as required in a normal wedding, you know, a wedding where the celebrant isn't accusing them of fucking animals, and they are prompted in English. The rest of the so called ceremony is in the native tongue.

    You seem to be missing the point. They paid money for their holiday and their dream wedding and were made a complete laughing stock on the world wide stage by the people who abused and insulted them repeatedly. And you seem to think this is perfectly acceptable?

    For a country that is so reliant on tourist dollars for its very survival, it seems strange to me that they would do so much to insult and abuse the very tourists who are putting food on their tables.

    Let me put it this way. A while ago a bunch of school boys abused and gang raped a mentally disabled girl, and shared the video with other students on their phones. The video shows the girl laughing at times and crying and sobbing at others (at intervals where they would hit her and tear out her hair). Now, she did not understand what they were saying to her when they were calling her a whore and a slut and a retard. Is it acceptable that they call her that because she can't understand it?
    Last edited by Bells; 11-02-10 at 09:22 PM.

  16. #16
    solanaceous common tater Spud Emperor's Avatar
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    If only this forum were visual.
    I've got the world's funniest chicken oral sex joke but it's completely visual.
    Damn.

  17. #17
    uniquely dreadful S.A.M.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bells View Post
    Are they naive that Maldivians now can't be trusted at all?

    Now watch the marriage and wedding tourism take a nosedive in a country that relies so much on tourism in the first place. I would say it is the hotel staff who snorted with laughter and went along with it who are naive. Because they now face the prospect of "naive" couples taking their business and money elsewhere, you know.. where they won't be accused of fucking animals and be called names during their wedding ceremony.
    I seriously doubt it will have any impact at all. You think this is the first time something like this has happened or been exposed?

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by S.A.M. View Post
    I seriously doubt it will have any impact at all. You think this is the first time something like this has happened or been exposed?
    No it is not, but that kind of negative publicity will end up harming the tourism industry for quite a while.

    Let me ask you a question. Lets say a restaurant that is widely advertised and lauded as providing certain meals becomes beset with negative publicity about a mouse that is found in one of their dishes, as an example. Do you think people will still go and eat there? Or will they take their money elsewhere until the scandal dies down at least?

    I mean this couple had absolutely no idea until it broke in the media. Can you imagine how humiliating that would have been for them? You seem to have this attitude that because this has happened before, that it is somehow acceptable. It isn't.

    Not by any stretch of the imagination.

    I mean the hotel advised itself as:

    Vilu Reef Beach and Spa Resort advertises itself as a place where couples can renew their wedding vows “hand in hand against a golden sunset backdrop” and where their “everlasting love” can be sealed by a “kaleidoscope of romantic hues” that covers the sky during the sunset.

    In the video the ‘celebrant’ briefs the couple in English, prior to the ceremony, that it will be conducted according to “not only Maldivian” but also “Arabic and Islamic” norms.

    http://minivannews.com/society/resor...ks-islam-12671
    Tell me Sam, I've been to several Islamic weddings in my time, some of whom are relatives of mine, is this the norm of Islamic weddings?

    “Germs of anger and hatred will breed and drip from the tips of your penises,” he says.
    How about this?

    “Before buggering a chicken, check if the hole is clean. That is because the people of the countries that you are from are familiar with the taste of the ****holes of chicken,” he chants, still with hands held over the couples’.

    “Do not treat with kindness people against whom violence is being committed. Commit more violence against victims of violence. You are not people who have been sent to this world to commit violence.”
    This?

    "You fornicate and make a lot of children. You drink and you eat pork. Most of the children that you have are marked with spots and blemishes… these children that you have are bastards,” he continues solemnly.
    Or this?

    The concluding chant is delivered in a gentler, softer voice: “Keep fornicating frequently, and keep spreading hatred among people. The children you will have from this marriage will all be bastard swine.”
    And to cap it off, they are then told this:

    “So now, in Maldivian law, in Islam, you are already married”, says the ‘celebrant’, returning to English. The hapless couple are then told to relax and enjoy the celebrations that are to follow, by the end of which a certificate of their nuptials will be ready for them.
    They were then made to go and plant a coconut tree, as a symbol of their unity, while the male staff made lewd comments about the bride's breasts.

    And apparently for an extra fee, this poor couple can obtain further photos of their dream day. This is after the staff uploaded the video with translation on youtube of course.

    So is this now the norm for Arabic or Islamic weddings?

  19. #19
    uniquely dreadful S.A.M.'s Avatar
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    I think attending a marriage ceremony where you don't comprehend a word of what you are legally promising is a far cry from pestilence in a food outlet. Regardless, this kind of stuff is so common in Asia that only people from outside it would be "shocked" at it. And most of them have such short term memories that its completely irrelevant.

    I mean this couple had absolutely no idea until it broke in the media. Can you imagine how humiliating that would have been for them? You seem to have this attitude that because this has happened before, that it is somehow acceptable. It isn't.
    It was their choice to attend a marriage ceremony where they could not understand a word. If they had not posted a video of it and people who knew the language had not informed them, they would never have known. I have the same kind of sympathy for them that I have for people who sign legal documents without reading them.

    Tell me Sam, I've been to several Islamic weddings in my time, some of whom are relatives of mine, is this the norm of Islamic weddings?
    Is that what they had? An Islamic wedding? And no its not the norm, because the primary consideration in an Islamic wedding is to comprehend the marriage agreement so as to give an informed consensual response to.

    “Before buggering a chicken, check if the hole is clean. That is because the people of the countries that you are from are familiar with the taste of the ****holes of chicken,” he chants, still with hands held over the couples’.

    “Do not treat with kindness people against whom violence is being committed. Commit more violence against victims of violence. You are not people who have been sent to this world to commit violence.”
    Apparently they agreed to all of the above, by saying I do. They could have signed away their assets willingly and not known any better.

    They were then made to go and plant a coconut tree, as a symbol of their unity, while the male staff made lewd comments about the bride's breasts.

    And apparently for an extra fee, this poor couple can obtain further photos of their dream day. This is after the staff uploaded the video with translation on youtube of course.

    So is this now the norm for Arabic or Islamic weddings?
    And how much did they pay for this privilege? How foolish. Hopefully the next time they get married it will be in a language they recognise

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by S.A.M. View Post
    It was their choice to attend a marriage ceremony where they could not understand a word. If they had not posted a video of it and people who knew the language had not informed them, they would never have known. I have the same kind of sympathy for them that I have for people who sign legal documents without reading them.
    I guess they were taken in with the false advertising of the resort.

    And again, they did not post it on youtube. They didn't even know about it until the hotel staff uploaded it with the translation and it gained world wide attention.

    How or why do you find this acceptable?

    I take it you have very little sympathy for people who are mentally disabled because they don't understand? How about elderly people who are conned into forking out their money to schemes they are told would help them but then end up taking their money and running?

    It is because they could not understand what was being said that makes this so bad. They were enticed by a resort, whose staff it seems fully intended to insult and abuse them internationally.

    Is that what they had? An Islamic wedding? And no its not the norm, because the primary consideration in an Islamic wedding is to comprehend the marriage agreement so as to give an informed consensual response to.
    You might want to tell that to child brides who are forced into Islamic marriages in countries like Afghanistan.

    But lets say you are correct. Is it the norm in Islamic marriages to refer to the bride and groom as animal fuckers? Or is this acceptable to you because this couple is not Islamic and therefore referring to them as such is somehow acceptable, because as you claim, they didn't understand anyway and they *gasp* opted to experience another culture on such a special day?

    Read the comments made by Maldivians in the article I linked above. They are not as forgiving or accepting as you are being about this. In fact, they are offended by it. The content of that video is explicit. But it seems you're saying it's fine because they, the foreigners, paid for this and its acceptable because they couldn't understand it.. That apparently, if one goes to a Muslim country like the Maldives, they shouldn't expect any better.

    Apparently they agreed to all of the above, by saying I do. They could have signed away their assets willingly and not known any better.
    Are you serious?

    I'm am willing to bet that when they forked out the money for the wedding ceremony on the beach, advertised as:

    "hand in hand against a golden sunset backdrop” and where their “everlasting love” can be sealed by a “kaleidoscope of romantic hues” that covers the sky during the sunset."

    They were not envisioning being called animal fuckers or agreeing to it.

    And I can assure you, had they signed away all their assets after such gross misrepresentation, no court in any country would have upheld such a contract and those they signed it away to would have been thrown in jail for fraud, at the very least.

    And how much did they pay for this privilege? How foolish. Hopefully the next time they get married it will be in a language they recognise
    Indeed. Hopefully the very notion of embracing other cultures ceases immediately and the Maldives tourist and tourist wedding industry that comprises to over a quarter of the country's income will go down the drain and the poverty gets worse..

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