Odd turn ons

[jpappl]

It's very interesting how people have what some might consider a weird fetish.

When I look at something like BDSM. The idea of being dominated or dominating and physically and maybe painfully abused most would consider odd.

Where did this come from ? Is it just boredom or is it say a weird twist that our mind plays on our violent history.

IOW, is it in us from hundreds of thousands of years of violence against each other and then in some it comes out in a sexual manner ?

Being whipped for example. Or tied up in bondage. These are things that might happen to someone in a torture room. Did the torture or maybe sexual torture of a distant relative set off a chain reaction to others that come out sexually.

I have some odd ones myself and although they don't really make sense to me I have an idea where they started and why they are so powerfull.

I have also been suprised at times to being aroused at something that if you asked me beforehand if it was a turn on I would have said hell no.

I am curious as to how some of these form. For example.

Why do some women have rape fantasies ?

[James R]

I think fetishes mostly have their roots in a person's upbringing. At some point, they have made a strange connection between sex and something else - hence bondage, foot fetishes, etc. Often I think it is because they have been told that something is "naughty" in connection with sex and the fetish object/activity.

As for rape fantasies, I don't imagine that many of those fantasies involve physical pain and abuse, but rather just being taken assertively by a strong man. In other words, it's fantasy rape, not at all like the reality.

[Doreen]

clogs, open back.....

I think Freud would have gotten this one right, at least in my case.

[Dywyddyr]

clogs

You have a fetish for Dutchmen?
Enmos!!

open back.....

That would be...?
Opened with a cat 'o nine tails?

I think Freud would have gotten this one right, at least in my case.

Keep taking the medication.

As for rape fantasies, I don't imagine that many of those fantasies involve physical pain and abuse, but rather just being taken assertively by a strong man. In other words, it's fantasy rape, not at all like the reality.

My last g/f had a "thing" about that and I did some checking... Apparently it stems (in a lot cases at least) from wishing to be considered so desirable/ attractive that the guy can't control himself, rather than actually being raped, which would tie in with your assessment.

[Doreen]

You have a fetish for Dutchmen?
Enmos!!

No, clogs. And it doesn't matter who is wearing them.

That would be...?
Opened with a cat 'o nine tails?

Think about the clog and the foot. You're an engineer.

Keep taking the medication.

Is there medication for a clog turn on? Amazing the orphan drugs pharmaceutical companies will invest in.

[Dywyddyr]

Think about the clog and the foot. You're an engineer.

Ah.
Pfft, engineers don't go in much for "shoe terminology", hence the confusion. (And do NOT mention that to S.A.M., or I'm in trouble).

Is there medication for a clog turn on? Amazing the orphan drugs pharmaceutical companies will invest in.

You know what I meant.

[Doreen]

Ah.
Pfft, engineers don't go in much for "shoe terminology", hence the confusion. (And do NOT mention that to S.A.M., or I'm in trouble).

Terminology?!

a clog...

http://www.cloghouse.com/shop/images/301.jpg

You (engineer) guys really have to get out more. Picture a foot, dare I utter it, a bare one, entering the clog.

You know what I meant.

yeah, but it was so goofy, I responded that way.

[Dywyddyr]

Terminology?!
a clog...

Yes, when I read "open back" I thought of a back (i.e. the dorsal area of the body) rather than "open-backed" in connection with shoes.
Now, if you were talking shoulder blades or spines...

You (engineer) guys really have to get out more.

That would be silly.
Outdoor conditions are far too variable and unamenable to reliable prediction, and getting out would interfere with doing important geeky stuff.

[Doreen]

Yes, when I read "open back" I thought of a back (i.e. the dorsal area of the body) rather than "open-backed" in connection with shoes.
Now, if you were talking shoulder blades or spines...

Wow, you must have really thought I was a sick puppy. People wearing clogs who have been dorsallly eviserated or something. I understand the medication suggestion more now.

That would be silly.
Outdoor conditions are far too variable and unamenable to reliable prediction, and getting out would interfere with doing important geeky stuff.

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b3...k/DSCF1689.jpg
You seem to be engaging in geeky stuff just fine outdoors.

[Dywyddyr]

Wow, you must have really thought I was a sick puppy. People wearing clogs who have been dorsallly eviserated or something. I understand the medication suggestion more now.

Hence my cat o' nine tails question.
And what makes you think I don't think you're a sick puppy anyway?

You seem to be engaging in geeky stuff just fine outdoors.

Hey! It's a twice a year thing. If they were sensible enough to hold the show at my place (indoors) I wouldn't have to go out. But I had to leave my PC behind which meant lack of calculations...

[Doreen]

Hence my cat o' nine tails question.
And what makes you think I don't think you're a sick puppy anyway?

I suppose most everyone in black ops is a sick puppy. I mean, hypothetically. Not referring to myself.

Hey! It's a twice a year thing. If they were sensible enough to hold the show at my place (indoors) I wouldn't have to go out. But I had to leave my PC behind which meant lack of calculations...

It's just you look relaxed. Not scurrying to a workbench under fluourescent lights.

[Dywyddyr]

It's just you look relaxed. Not scurrying to a workbench under fluourescent lights.

I think I was pointing out some interesting technical aspect of an aircraft to my (nailed-down*) sister.

* Nailed-down since, having grown up listening to my "pointing out technical aspects" she has a habit of finding something "just over there" she pretends to be more interested in if she isn't fixed in place.

[Anti-Flag]

I think fetishes mostly have their roots in a person's upbringing. At some point, they have made a strange connection between sex and something else - hence bondage, foot fetishes, etc. Often I think it is because they have been told that something is "naughty" in connection with sex and the fetish object/activity.

I'm not sure it's quite that simple, most of us are told lots of things are "naughty" when it comes to sex, but that doesn't mean all of those things turn us on. It'd be interesting to know why we like some but not others.

[Doreen]

I think I was pointing out some interesting technical aspect of an aircraft to my (nailed-down*) sister.

* Nailed-down since, having grown up listening to my "pointing out technical aspects" she has a habit of finding something "just over there" she pretends to be more interested in if she isn't fixed in place.

Since you appear to be rather large, strong fellow, I think I will avoid mentioning how 'nailed down sister' sounds to American ears in a thread on odd turn ons.

[cosmictraveler]

Some humans are deeply demented and perverted and must do things to others or themselves to satisfy that screwed up part of them. Torturing others to "get off" isn't a very "normal" way to have the enjoyment of a sexual relationship with anyone.

[Dywyddyr]

Since you appear to be rather large, strong fellow, I think I will avoid mentioning how 'nailed down sister' sounds to American ears in a thread on odd turn ons.

Ouch and touché.
Now you've pointed it out I see what you mean...

[S.A.M.]

Better quit while you're ahead, Dywy

[Dywyddyr]

Some humans are deeply demented and perverted and must do things to others or themselves to satisfy that screwed up part of them.

That's a highly subjective assessment.

Torturing others to "get off" isn't a very "normal" way to have the enjoyment of a sexual relationship with anyone.

Torturing wasn't discussed, or even mentioned.
BDSM is consensual (AFAIK), so it wouldn't actually constitute torture.
And I'd bet I could find quite a few people who'd claim that BDSM is entirely "normal" - for them.
I.e. you'd have a very hard time defining exactly what is "normal" as far as sexual activities/ proclivities are concerned.

[cosmictraveler]

Sadomasochism refers to the physical aspects of BDSM. Sadism describes sexual pleasure derived by inflicting pain, degradation, or humiliation on another person. On the other hand, the masochist enjoys being bound, spanked or suffering within the consensual scenario.

WIKI

If that isn't torture then I guess I'd better learn what is.

[Bells]

Torture involves a lack of consent with the direct intent to cause harm - where one finds pleasure and the other finds pain and no pleasure.

With BDSM, both parties get some joy out of it, both parties know what they can and cannot do (as in they know the limits of what they are doing to each other) and most importantly, and this is the defining thing that distinguishes it from torture - consent.

There is nothing abnormal about people enjoying that kind of violence during sex. Just as there is nothing abnormal if you do not enjoy that kind of thing during sex. To each their own.