alternative spanking methods.

I suspect you have no kids of your own and that why you know zero fact about kids behaviours .
Kids are not all the same . Some like to bully others, some like to swear, some like to make fun of kids and adults.....etc. I wish I know how 6 billion people on earth think but I do not . Adults are different and kids are different . Also many kids and adults have mental problems and have less control on their lives including what they say and what they do .

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..........!!.

 

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I appreciate you wanting to keep the threads cordial, that is not always easy.

However, I agree with Shorty that we should be able to scrutinize the alternatives.

The claims against those of us who have spanked their kids are pretty strong, saying we are abusers and assualting our kids.

We are dealing with what alternatives are there to deal with a child that is stepping over the line, which is when and only when myself for example has ever spanked my kids. 6 times total for 2 kids.

All of the alternatives deal with situations that are mild and normal day to day interactions with kids. They are tough, they are always seeking the bounadry limits, some are easier and these discipline suggestions work fine, but what about when they cross that last line, when enough is enough.

So far we have:

Spanking.

Embarrassment in front of peers.

Kudos to Orly for letting us know because I have looked at parenting sites that offer suggestions but when it comes to that final step over the line the alternatives are completely absent.

Of the two above, which is worse ?

None of them are good of course, but is one worse ?

So for all the people who want to lash out at those of us who have spanked a kid, none seem to have any other real alternatives other than something that seems worse than the original offence.

LOL.

 

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Click on edit at the given post you want to delete, and then the delete feature should appear.

 

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it didnt..

 

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If it doesn't appear, then I guess it has something to do with your post count, and/or account. Basically, no clue. Good luck, kid.

 

No kidding........Considering we have been called out for ASSAULTING

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our kids. I think we have ever right to comment on these alternatives. So far, I haven't read anything worth giving a thumbs up.
I agreed with the taking things, privileges away, but that is usually done with the older kids. I haven't seen much advice on a toddler having a tantrum and is out of control. You tried reasoning/talking with them and just don't get anywhere.........So what do you do, when you have tried everything else?

So far like jpappl said, we got:

Humiliating your teens at their school in front of all their friends. (Which I would NEVER do... talk about making your child feel about an inch tall. Great for the self esteem I am sure!)

Bribery using Candy and Money in order to behave.

I don't see how someone who uses these kinds of alternatives has the nerve to call out other parents who have mildly spanked their children a few times and call them ....ABUSERS.

 

true that..but anything worthwhile is worth the fight..

the intention is to gather advice, not to scrutinize them,its up to the parent seeking alternatives to scrutinize what advice would work with their child, not ours..

but its ok for you to do the same??(bash their advice)

we are addressing ways NOT to spank..

need specifics...not all advice can be generic..

again this is a judgemnet call for the parents seeking advice, not for us to discuss..

again..not for us to judge..just post advice,

 

My advice is, Don't listen to a word Orleander says.

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i think i am fighting a losing battle...


NMSquirrel hangs head down in discouragement..

 

I agree.

Those without kids offering us advice don't get the fact that this is not something we like to do, it's something we have to do, it's become our job as a parent. The alternative is to not parent.

It's a case of the cure (embarass and humiliate or other) is worse than the supposed illness (spanking) So they throw out that archaic action and replace it with something that will follow them for most of their adult life.

Brilliant !

I was really hoping that there was a magic bullet so that I could pass it on to parents I know with younger kids.

 

Squirrel,

And I am a parent, and I am suggesting that the alternative suggested is worse than spanking.

if you read my posts to Orly, I didn't question her intent. So I was not bashing her at all. I don't believe that her approach is a better alternative however, which is what this thread is about.

Otherwise, you are ok with something worse than spanking just so long as it's not spanking.

Correct.

I'm a parent

With all due respect. I am posting advice. My advice is that it's worse to embarrass the kid in front of their peers than it is to spank them. Besides, at the age where it matters to the kid, I wouldn't be spanking them anyway, but I also wouldn't embarass or humiliate them.

 

So, you are saying that by virtue of you being a parent, you are automatically a good parent and above reproach?
Do you think there is not a single parent out there that shares the same point of view as those out there without kids?
Do you think that there does not exist the parents who held onto their point of view on raising children AFTER they had them?

I'd argue that, for example, an oldest child of a large family has quite a bit MORE experience at raising children than a new parents does.

All you are saying with this is that you were absolutely clueless about kids and how to raise them before you had your own - not everyone is in that same boat.

 

I agree with you completely on this. But I have no kids, so you must be wrong.

 

Pray tell, one-raven, what would the authorities have done had they been called? Please don't tell me that they may have assaulted the poor child by slamming him to the floor and restraining him with handcuffs? Shameful!

Let's just hope that the authorities wouldn't have invoked chemical warfare by spraying the child down with pepper spray? Horrors...

Of course, as long as such acts were were performed by the "authorities", as opposed to a spanking by the actual parents or their appointed surrogates (baby-sitters, day care workers, etc.), than these actions are perfectly normal and absolutely required.

I mean, no one ever heard of "the authorities" abusing anyone below the age of majority, have they?

Please...

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there is always one (smart*ss ) in the bunch....lol

 

it not called Alternative BETTER spanking methods..

its fine if you don't agree with other users, thats what makes your parenting skills more suited for your own kids..but no matter what advice is given to you, you will still only choose what advice is praticle and pertinant to your own kids and your own style..this is what i am asking..let the seekers of knowledge decide for themselves what is appropriate or not..would you listen to someones advice if they were presenting it in such a way as to make you feel totally Worthless?

im asking to lets not distract ourselves from the knowledge and wisdom that can be gained, lets not make it about how worthless we are,..



BTW it is completelty legal to take a 'out of control' child/teenager/adult person and roll them up in a rug until they can be calm....

 

Calling "the authorities" does not necessarily mean calling the police and having someone arrested.
I was talking about whatever department of health and human services or department of family and social services they have available in their area.
I would think if she works in some sort of childcare facility they would be well familiar with such agencies in their area and what they should do in such a situation.

Furthermore I don't buy her story.
She said nothing about calling anyone in the beginning and said they never heard from him again after he parents paid the medical bills - THEN she said they restrained him until the police came.
This ten year old was so big, tough and strong (far too strong, big and heavy for her to hold down) that he beat the entire class up, and she was:

Yet she was able to get the bat from him even after he hit her with it and managed to tie him to a shelf?

This kid beat the entire class and the adults to bloody pulps (except for our resident hero) and the parents just said, "Hey, write me a check for the medical bills and we will be fine. I won't press charges"?
Bullshit. If this happened the way she described it would have been all over the news. Show me the news article.

I don't believe her.
This is why I stopped bothering to discuss it.

 

In that case - elctrocution is an alternative.
Let's see...
Drowning.
Throwing into a dog-fighting pit.
Throwing into the fast lane of a highway...

There are LOTS of alternatives - the list could go on for pages and pages.

What's the point of bringing up alternatives, if not to discuss the value/effectiveness of these alternatives?

 

As I alluded to in the other thread, I believe I have spanked each of my daughters 2-3 times in their lives, maybe four in one case, can't recall for sure.

Two instances I do recall:
S is about 4, maybe 5 years old. She has been told about fire, and has been burned on a stove before by touching a red hot burner...

One morning I was ironing a shirt to prepare for an important meeting while S looked on. All was well until she asked "Why do you do that to your shirt?" I told her that the iron took away the wrinkles, and even showed her how the wrinkles went away when the iron was pressed over them. I set the iron up to turn the shirt over and my daughter started to read for it (the bottom of the flat iron).

I yelled, which made her jump, and withdraw her hand. She then asked "Why can't I touch it daddy?" I told her it was very hot and would burn her. She replied, "No, it's not, it is not red, the stove gets red when its hot." She then started to reach for it again.

Now here is where the "assault" came in...
I grabbed her wrist, slapped her hand, and yelled "NO!"

This startled S and made her cry. Despite being late, I turned off the iron, held her and waited till she calmed down. I then took some time, spoke with her about how things don't have to be red to be hot, and said I would show her. The iron had cooled down by now, so I turned it back on and told S to touch it with the end of her finger till it got hot. I told her once again, not everything needs to be red to be hot. She kept her finger on the iron till it began to warm up, then pulled it away and said "I believe you daddy!"

I told her "I knew you would understand, you're a smart girl, so promise me not to do things I tell you not to, because I might have to hurt you to keep you from being hurt even worse." I then told her if she disobeys me again when something was very dangerous, I would spank her again, whether it be on her hand or her bottom. I told her I loved her and wanted to take care of her, but sometimes there is no time, and I have to assault spank her quickly so she understands.

Her comment? "OK, Daddy, I love you too..."

So screw those of you who believe that there is never a place for corporal punishment.

 

Slapping a hand in the moment of danger is not spanking.