my wife wants my son/daughter, to be baptized and i do not want him/her to be,


i say leave him alone and when he comes of age he can decide for himself, (or her, i keep doing that) she says no he shuld be, just "because"


how can i stop this and let the child decide for itself?, im afraid she will eve go to the extream of getting it baptized secretely when i am not there one day!


what can i do?.


peace,

im afraid she will eve go to the extream of getting it baptized secretely when i am not there one day!

aaaaahahaha/:D

i hope she does too.

as an aside, i am scheduling mine soon/

You could counter her secret baptism with a pre-emptive satanic baptism, (I think they use chicken blood)!

She should only be baptized after she may become a born-again Christian.

I agree, what's with baptizing a kid who doesn't appreciate what it means? It's like the Mormons who baptize Jews posthumously.

a born-again Christian.

wow, that's too cool.

my wife wants my son/daughter, to be baptized and i do not want him/her to be

A hard and dangerous task when it comes to wives, but I would take the time out, (whether it helps or not), to inform her of your childs unequivocal right to decide for itself what it wants to believe in life. Parents do not have the say on what their children will or will not believe and thus do not have the right to put it through belief specific rituals. I consider things like this to be child abuse.

http://www.godecookery.com/macabre/gallery5/macbr130.jpg

Satan rebaptizing young sorcerers. From R. P. Gauccius' Compendium Maleficarum, Milan, 1626.

my wife wants my son/daughter, to be baptized and i do not want him/her to be,


i say leave him alone and when he comes of age he can decide for himself, (or her, i keep doing that) she says no he shuld be, just "because"


how can i stop this and let the child decide for itself?, im afraid she will eve go to the extream of getting it baptized secretely when i am not there one day!


what can i do?.



peace,


What your wife does does not really matter so long as the child is allowed to growup and understand that a baptism as a child does not realy save you. It is a personal decision which cannot be made by anything you or your wife does.

The danger lies in the fact that the child could grow up thinking it is already saved and never really come to saving faith. This is something that absolutley must be averted.

I wish you the best of luck.:)

I was baptised when I was young and it doesnt bother me. I can't imagine a kid being angry with his parents baptising them

First and foremost it depends whether you are Christian, and how strongly you believe in your faith. Your wife must obviously lean towards Christianity, even if you don't, so in that case I would just go along with it, for her peace of mind (and your peace from the wife). Your child won't catch a disease from being baptised and no-one need know anyway, but they can always choose their own religion if they feel they have to, when they become adult.

my wife wants my son/daughter, to be baptized and i do not want him/her to be,


i say leave him alone and when he comes of age he can decide for himself, (or her, i keep doing that) she says no he shuld be, just "because"


how can i stop this and let the child decide for itself?, im afraid she will eve go to the extream of getting it baptized secretely when i am not there one day!


what can i do?.


peace,

generally you see there are rituals in religion for birth, death and a few things in between, such as marriage - despite doing all, some or none of these rituals it is observed that persons turn out all things atheistic, agnostic to theistic in all shapes, sizes and flavours - free will is free, and even though parents view their control over their children as mighty it usually gets thrown back in their face when they hid being a teenager - If you think that your wife might do it in secret I would recommend that you go ahead with it anyway, more so for the sake of the your relationship with your wife.

my wife wants my son/daughter, to be baptized and i do not want him/her to be,


i say leave him alone and when he comes of age he can decide for himself, (or her, i keep doing that) she says no he shuld be, just "because"


how can i stop this and let the child decide for itself?, im afraid she will eve go to the extream of getting it baptized secretely when i am not there one day!


what can i do?.If one assumes that the child is unable to adequately decide which they want when they are only a few weeks old or so, ask yourself: Is it more important to you that your child ISN'T baptised, or to your wife that they ARE?

If you're an atheist (which I am assuming you are) - then do you really care that the child is baptised according to your wife's wishes at a stage in their development when they don't have a shred of an idea what is going on? Their only thought, if they even have an idea of words with which to form adequate thoughts, is "Oooh - water. And the b*****d has dripped it on my forehead! Waaaaaah waaaaaaah!"

When the child grows up and CAN determine their own mind - that is a different matter.

my wife wants my son/daughter, to be baptized and i do not want him/her to be,


i say leave him alone and when he comes of age he can decide for himself, (or her, i keep doing that) she says no he shuld be, just "because"


how can i stop this and let the child decide for itself?, im afraid she will eve go to the extream of getting it baptized secretely when i am not there one day!


what can i do?.


peace,

It's hard for me to believe this is the sole point of difference between you two. Likely you have fairly different world views, might as well dive into that now, perhaps with professional help. You could each bring a rep. to couple's counseling. Seriously, it sounds likely that you will have perhaps radically different parenting styles and aims. The baptism in and of itself could mean a lot or not that much. It might feel like a welcome to the community (of the church) kind of thing and not bode frighteningly. But if she is going to view your child from the original sin, having your own will is bad, etc. and that is a problem for you, I would treat the whole thing very seriously. I mean like palestinians and Jews at the negotiating table. And I would look back at the relationship up until now and see if there were moments where you decided not to express yourself (and she also should look at this for herself) because you loved each other and thought it would all work out somehow later. All those steps might need to be gone through. There is no shortcut to love, it all comes back to haunt one.

my wife wants my son/daughter, to be baptized and i do not want him/her to be,


i say leave him alone and when he comes of age he can decide for himself, (or her, i keep doing that) she says no he shuld be, just "because"


how can i stop this and let the child decide for itself?, im afraid she will eve go to the extream of getting it baptized secretely when i am not there one day!


what can i do?.


peace,

Attempt to come to a compromise. Tell her to wait until the child is older so that he/she will understand it better and can participate in it as well (and in the meantime hope like hell she forgets about it in the years down the track..:) ).

A baptism will not change the child or make it somehow different. However that she could go behind your back and do it is probably more of a concern than the actual baptism itself. The word 'trust' screams to mind. I think you should be more worried that you do not trust her than her actually baptising the baby.

You could always check the credentials of those who baptise.

http://russellsteapot.com/images/comics/2007/Image072.jpg

But I suggest going along with it, if you want to stay married.

Why don't you just reason with your wife that if your child wants to be baptised then they can make the choice for themselves when they're old enough to understand religion.
But then if it's purely for your wife's benefit the future wishes of your child don't come into it.

i have just finished reading all the replys, thanks i see things in a few more perspectives now, a few points stuck in my head the most,

i guess it doesent really matter that much if it is or isnt baptised, and yes me and my wife have very very different parenting views, she thinks i am part barbaric with some of my opinions on childcare, and i will raise him to be nothing short of an ancient warrior child, i think the opposite of her, that she will raise a little passive mommys boy, who will let people walk all over him and take his lunch money then go snitching to the teachers and getting beat up even worse for it.

i wanted to enrole him in a shaolin academy fromt he age of 3, but obviously she told me where to stick that idea,


i said if she gets him baptized by a catholic church, then i will get him blessed by the muslim mosque, (i wouldent really) but it seemed like a good idea to say at the time,


i dont think we need counciling, i think she needs to realise she is the woman and i am the man, and what the man says goes!.


im joking :) counciling wouldent work im too much of an asshole i would play mind games with the poor guy/woman. i find it funny when people try to delve into my psyche.

maybe i will just let her get it baptised, but then she has won a good battleground position, i cannot let her take the elevated positional high ground., :)


peace.

Why don't you just reason with your wife that if your child wants to be baptised then they can make the choice for themselves when they're old enough to understand religion.
But then if it's purely for your wife's benefit the future wishes of your child don't come into it.


that was my first argument to her! read my origonal post. thats exactly what i said. but she does not listen to reason apparently, she she wants a war instead..:)

peace.

Let me just sayt that by example baptism is a personal decision that no one can make for you. Baptism has the same significance as circumcision had to the Jews. It was back then used to dedicate their children to God. The Jews did this because of their status as a NATION undergod, litteraly his Holly Nation. The Law bound them and their children to his purpose.

Baptism however is dedication to god under the critera of knowledge not under birth. Jesus was baptized at 30 years of age and the Ethiopian eunic was an adult as well. The Ethiopian said..."There is a body of water, what prevents me from being baptized." But this was only said after John had explained to him the important things of God and that he understood.

If your child is too young to understand this sort of commitment or to even make the dedication of his own free will then it is wrong to baptize against a person's will.

Additional:

God will not accept a baptism, which is symbolic of being reborn with the knowledge of God and making a change or dedicating your life, that isn't sincere.

Imagine dedicating your son or daughter to marry a person they don't love. The same is true of dedication...it is the same. There is no dedication if a person doesn't know what's happening or doesn't wish to be marry or dedicated to a purpose. When this child becomes 18 years old and doesn't wish to acknowledge God as real, then what good was the baptism? It was false and therefore meaningless. He or she was merely taking a bath in public.

But note Jesus: When he was baptized at 30 his father granted him all the heavenly knowledge that he had when he was formerly in the heavens with his father. He became truely aware of who he was and what he was on Earth to do. While this doesn't happen with us it shows us there is an understanding of knowledge at baptism we must know why and for whom we're taking this symbolic display for.

That's excellent Saquist, I never thought that He came to full understanding when He was baptized, of course, He had not been "born again" before then, as He is God, but the symbolism is fascinating.

maybe i should be baptized with my child.


peace.

This is one of the reasons I would never marry an adherent, believing Christian.
If I were a Christian, I would not marry outside my faith.
At least not if I was planning on having children.

However that she could go behind your back and do it is probably more of a concern than the actual baptism itself. The word 'trust' screams to mind. I think you should be more worried that you do not trust her than her actually baptising the baby.
That was my first thought.
If my wife baptized our kid against my will, we would be divorced before she left the church.

i guess it doesent really matter that much if it is or isnt baptised, and yes me and my wife have very very different parenting views, she thinks i am part barbaric with some of my opinions on childcare, and i will raise him to be nothing short of an ancient warrior child, i think the opposite of her, that she will raise a little passive mommys boy, who will let people walk all over him and take his lunch money then go snitching to the teachers and getting beat up even worse for it.
I never understood how people with such distinctly opposing views on such important matters got along in a marriage.
Great for you, if you do, but I couldn't.

i said if she gets him baptized by a catholic church, then i will get him blessed by the muslim mosque, (i wouldent really) but it seemed like a good idea to say at the time,
For someone who is so focused on martial arts, honor, respect, etc... You can be awfully petty, spiteful and immature. :D


i dont think we need counciling, i think she needs to realise she is the woman and i am the man, and what the man says goes!.


im joking :)
Don't lie.
You're not joking.
You believe that, you just know she won't bend over for it. :D

maybe i will just let her get it baptised, but then she has won a good battleground position, i cannot let her take the elevated positional high ground.
Is that what marriage is to you?
A seried of battles to be won and lost and an attempt to gain an upper hand?
That explains a lot.

This is one of the reasons I would never marry an adherent, believing Christian.
If I were a Christian, I would not marry outside my faith.
At least not if I was planning on having children.


That is a really good idea..these kinds of situations can litteral deal breakers. Not everyone believes exactly the same...even if Christian.

Just let her do it, it's no skin off your ass and in marriage you gotta pick your battles. Only fight decisive ones.

Is that what marriage is to you?
A seried of battles to be won and lost and an attempt to gain an upper hand?
That explains a lot.

Yes.

raven i seriously was joking, i dont believe that. :)

and compromise is the way to go, but sometimes a relationship does seem like a battle to me honestly,

and i think you dont get my humour alot of the time, you take what i say too seriously at times, but its over the computer and it is hard to tell when some1 is serious joking or in between, maybe if you could see my facial expressions and tone of voice it would be easyer. :)


i can be petty sometimes, i admit this in all honesty, but i think its because i see it as a challenge alot of the time and i love to win challenges :)

50% of my posts are jokes, i dont know why i joke about serious things at innapropriate times, maybe its my way of dealing with important issues sometimes, im not sure i havent really thought about it before.


i dont have anything against my wife and her opinions directly, we get along great even though we are completely opposite, its fun to talk to somebody who has a completely different view of things than ones self, i guess if we were the same things would get boring. opposites attract in some cases..


its more of the fact that her family are catholic, but she denounced her faith as a young teenager, and i think she is doing it more for her family than for her or the child, thats why i am opposed to it. i am a taoist and do not believe cults like the church should be growing with future generations, especialy with my child. mainstream religion in my eyes does nothing but start wars conflicts and arguments, preaching acceptance peace and love but showing very little to outsiders of different belief systems.


peace.

It wouldn't be a belief system if it agreed other belief systems, by definition.

by definition.


peace.

Hey EmptyForceOfChi, it could be worse mate, at least you're not married to this witch!!

http://www.kontraband.com/show/show.asp?ID=6159&NEXTID=0&PREVID=6013&DISPLAYORDER=20070416183228&CAT=movies&NSFW=3&page=1&genre=0&rating=nsfw_sfw

Put the fear of God and Santa Claus on your kids, why not?

Has anybody seen Bad Santa, or whatever it's called, with Billy Bob Thornton?

i cant watch streaming flash videos on my computer for some reason,


i have seen bad santa that was quite funny.

peace.

how can i stop this and let the child decide for itself?, im afraid she will eve go to the extream of getting it baptized secretely when i am not there one day!

why are so adamant about this chi?

I haven't seen it yet, thanks for the brief review.

why are so adamant about this chi?

because her family are catholic and i dont want my child to be a member of the flock.


peace.

bad santa and his little dwarf are thiefs and they disguise themselves and pose as santa and his little helper to rob things from shopping malls and stuff like that,

santa is a peverted alcoholic bum.

peace

*************
M*W: A bath never hurt anyone.

A stamp on a cow never hurt anyone, but after that the cow is still branded.