Monica, was she really a blonde?
Monica Lewinsky, in a statement released today, countered President Clinton's firm denial:
"I have had enough. This whole experience has left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I can't stomach any more. I feel as if I am getting the shaft, that this ugly matter has come to a head and blown up in my face.
"This may be a load to handle, but when things are hard, that is when I am at my best. I have faced hard things in the past, and I know what is coming. I will meet this challenge the only way I know how: head on.
"I have licked bigger things than this before, and I will again. No one will ever be able to say that Monica Lewinsky isn't a finisher, that she quit before the job was done. I will work non-stop and fight this, blow by blow, until I am wiped clean of this dirty affair. I will not be stained by it.
THE 747-400 HAS EVERYTHING
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of the men's room. Each time he tried the room was occupied. The stewardess, aware of his predicament, suggested that he use the ladies' room, but cautioned him against pressing any of the buttons on the wall. The buttons were marked "WW", "WA", "PP" and "ATR".
Eventually his curiosity got the best of him and while sitting there he carefully pushed the first button marked "WW". Immediately warm water sprayed gently over his entire buttom. He taught, Golly, the girls really have it made. Still curious, he pressed the next button marked "WA". Immediately, warm air dried his buttom completely. This, he thought, was out of this world. The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which patted his buttom lightly with scented powder. Naturally, he just couldn't resist the last one marked "ATR".
When he awoke in the hospital, he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened? The last thing I remember I was in the ladies' room aboard a plane". The nurse replied, Yes, you were but you were cautioned about pressing the buttons. You were really having a good time until you pressed the button marked "ATR" which stands for automatic tampax remover. Your penis is under your pillow.:D