David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist - And I have the proof! http://www.esquilax.com/baywatch/index.shtml How can one explain the phenomenal global success of one of this country's least talented individuals? There are only three ways. Mr. Hasselhoff actually is talented, but this goes unnoticed in his own country. Mr. Hasselhoff has sold his soul to Satan in return for global success. David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist. I vote for the last -- and perhaps, after seeing the facts involved, the rest of the world will agree. The Facts First, the obvious. The letters in his name can be rearranged to spell fad of devil's hash. What does this mean? Well, Baywatch is David's fad. David is the devil. The Hash is what makes Knight Rider popular in Amsterdam. (I was actually hoping to make the letters in his name spell out he is of the devil, which would be possible if his middle name was "Ethesis," which it might be. I'm sure his publicist would hide such a middle name if it were true.) Second -- and most importantly -- David Hasselhoff and his television series were foretold in the Bible. Biblical scholars worldwide may quibble over interpretations, but they all agree on this. For a few telling examples let's skip to the end of the Bible. If any book of the Bible will tell us who the AntiChrist is, it's the Revelation of Saint John, which basically describes the AntiChrist and the Armageddon He causes. I'll just give you the verse, and the current theological interpretation of that verse. Who is the Beast? Rev 13:1 And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns The Beast, of course, is David Hasselhoff. The Heads are His separate television incarnations. Young and the Restless, Revenge of the Cheerleaders, Knight Rider, Terror at London Bridge, Ring of the Musketeers, Baywatch and Baywatch Nights. The ten horns represent His musical releases: Crazy For You, David, David Hasselhoff, Do You Love Me?, Du, Everybody Sunshine, I Believe, Looking For Freedom, Night Lover and Night Rockers. Not only does Mitch The Lifeguard literally "rise out of the sea" on Baywatch, but David's musical career has mostly occurred in Europe, a metaphoric rise to fame from across the sea. Rev 13:3 And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; and his deadly wound was healed: and all the world wondered after the beast. Of course, this is a reference to his third head: Knight of the Phoenix, the first episode of Knight Rider. In this episode, "Michael Long, a policeman, is shot and left for dead. The shot is deflected by a plate in his head, but ruins his face. He is saved and his face reconstructed. He is reluctant, but agrees to use K.I.T.T. to help the Foundation for Law and Government fight criminals who are 'beyond the reach of the law'. " Knight Rider has been shown in 82 countries. Rev 13:5 And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things and blasphemies; and power was given unto him to continue forty and two months. The following blasphemies are actual quotes from David Hasselhoff -- I read these while he was 42 years old. "I'm good-looking, and I make a lot of money." "There are many dying children out there whose last wish is to meet me." "I'm six foot four, an all-American guy, and handsome and talented as well!" "Before long, I'll have my own channel -- I'll be like Barney." etc. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
The only good TV show he's been in was Night Rider Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Finally someone has the guts to express what I have always suspected! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Cris, I hope you are joking.... :bugeye:
Bebelina, Perhaps if I were a hermit I might have been able to escape. But I can honestly say I have never seen an episode. My only exposure is during TV channel surfing, so no more than a few seconds at any one time. That is generally long enough to identify a soap and all other brain-dead junk on TV. Cris
He is antichristPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! so what!!?? You gona kill him???? Do not whach soap too CrisPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! only discovery channel, viva, viva2, vh1, cnn, bbc. UPS, forgot southpark, but I download it from inet, btw it isn' t soapPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
The only shows I really bother to watch are comedy shows, maybe a little discovery now and again. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
What is baywatch? Is this a movie. I've not heard of it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ So what is it??? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
OK I'll admit that I watch the Simpsons. But that is now considered highly intelectual, since Universities now run courses on Simpsons Appreciation. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Baywatch is ... http://www.baywatch.com/ If there is a God, may S/He help me for even posting this link. ugh, Tiassa Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
odin, Nah I don't believe you. Baywatch is shown in the UK. tiassa, Gosh you have sunk to a low level.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I wonder how much the ratings dropped when the girls were forced to wear one-piece bathing suits. I remember a big news item about the change, years ago was it?
Cris I have never seen it! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Education Cris I think it's important for people to know how oxymoronic the ideas of American taste or American style have become. It's enough to make me fear what American culture must be worth, except that I'm one who sees too much division to mark a cohesive cultural paradigm among Americans. Frighteningly, their most common trait is poor taste. Well, okay, I suppose there's that underlying arrogance that propels even our humility, but I live amid it; that's like asking fish if their common link is that they swim .... It's a prickly conscience issue to take the risk of plugging Baywatch. I'm hoping it's educational. Wasn't the suit controversy after a few of the girls got silicone parts made for toys ...? (What is the onomatopoeia for that two-stage whip-cracking sound? It's irrelevant unless you're into Sir Mix-A-Lot.) But man, if the lifeguards wore those bikinis and looked like that ... well, I might have tried drowning to get some. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! How macho can you look, though, puking up seaweed? Or, better yet, while your bloated corpse gets pecked apart by birds. Hmm ... best not to try, I suppose. It's a calculated risk Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! What I don't get about the idea of a ratings drop, though, is, what the hell was up with Baywatch Nights? You realize what that got us? Pamela Anderson/Lee/whatsit on UPN ... V.I.P. I think I saw ten minutes of that once. It was exactly what you'd imagine if you're imagining four-day-old vegetable soup spilled in the alley. I mean, sure, she could have gotten a show on that network, anyway, but with Baywatch Nights to lead the way, there's been a few hot-chick action flicks of which I'm still surprised that James Cameron stooped to the level he did, but only one or so has been worth even a whole episode. And, yes, you can blame reality TV on the unions. But I refuse to make any excuses for the current round of quiz shows. thanx, Tiassa Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
If lifeguards were really that hot there'd be a lot more drownings going on than there are now, you can trust me on that one Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
