Anybody know the food with the highest calorie count?

My girlfriend actually wants to put a bit of weight on! so people what food is gonna give her loads of calories? Any advance on advacardo's? there meant to be about 800 cal on average.

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Bugles?

 

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isn't it...avocados?

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Otherwise, I'm not sure what food you're talking about. It really depends on her metabolism but I guess you could have her add Slim Fast to her current meals. I've seen people add Slim Fast to their usual diet instead of replacing their usual diet with Slim Fast, and it makes them gain pretty fast.

 

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I'm sorry, what on earth are those?

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oops, yup, there the things i mean. taste bloody horrible i think. At first they taste like shit... then you wish it was!

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Hungry man's frozen breakfast meals......If that doesn't do the job, nothing will.

 

This is a very stupid idea. All of the fat will flow to her ass. You should seek the advice of a nutritionist or doctor.

But since you ask: make sure the food also contains protein. Fried chicken, meat lovers pizza, milkshakes with protein powder, eggs and sausage, etc.

 

Fat. 9 calories per gram.
Wash ii down with some beer wine or liquor: 7 calories per gram.

:m: Peace.

 

yup, i agree. its more of an intrest thing to be honest, tho she has lost about 10 pounds during the last year, and as shes only 7 1/2 stone then, its quite a lot to lose. 7 1/2 stone is about 105 pounds by the way.
and yes she is going to the doc's.
but she was just wondering what would be the best foodstuff to help bulk up quickly if your not a fan of fast food.

 

lol, thats why i took her to the pub tonight, beer, as Dennis Leary says in his act " Its a meal! "

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add salt

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Once you get the real taste of it, you may start adding more things to it like fried beans...and melted cheese..and tostadas (or flour tortillas).

 

If I were you, I would tell her semen.

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tell her to eat more instead of looking for fatty foods to eat.
Get her to add a extra meal a day.

 

man go to the beauty store and buy pure chlestrole (sp?) and she can eat that shit!

 

Better yet, eat a stick of butter!

Just eat more food, it is so simple, as healthy as the foods you eat can be, the more you eat, the more you will gain weight.

It is quite simple.

 

avacadoes taste good, what are you guys smoking?

lots of cheese should do the job

 

While clogging your Arteries at the same time.

 

What about this: brownies cake covered with dark chocolate cream with chocolate sprinkles and chocolate chips?

 

Keep the bitch horizontal (on a bed) and deliver her massive meals twice a day (1 around 2 in the afternoon and another at about 9 at night) and only let drink her milkshakes.

If all goes to plan eventually you should have the victim pinned to her bed under her own weight unable to move, she is then your own personal prisoner. Its the latest form of bondage. The feeder/feedee relationship is so hot right now.

Keep in mind intercourse is impossible at this stage and you'll need to find other ways to get off like shitting on her and watching her wriggle uncomfortably to get the shit off while you masturbate. I know you guys out there are probably rolling your eyes over the concept of giving up sex for this corny mushy stuff, but you'll find these kinds of love games really can be rewarding.
Also play games like leaving her on her bed for a couple of days without bringing her anything. You need to really instill the fact that she is completely reliant on you.
Make sure you plan well before committing to the feeder lifestyle. You can't just abandon a feedee when you get sick of it, especially if it's in your house or some such stupid thing.
You should plant her in a shed or something rather than an expensive house, chances are you will grow bored of her before she can move so you will probably need to remove the evidence of having kept her which means burning down the shelter she is contained in while she is in it.
Well developed feedees set on fire are known to explode before they even die from the flames so make sure you leave enough time to get away after you've lit the fire. Flying pig-sized hunks of feedee flesh have been known to knock feeders unconscious after they explode a feedee and unfortunate feeders have even died from smoke inhalation in these cases

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... *father, son, holy ghost*

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Also, you might think you hate the feedee by the time you are burning her alive but some feeders have reported growing so accustomed to comeing to the feedees aid that its just a habit and when they hear the shrieks from the frying feedee they run in and put the flames out. Which ofcourse is suicide because the feedee will eventually rat on you for trying to kill her. You want to be far away or wearing ear plugs so her screams can't convince you to help.
Good luck

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Seeing as how you guys are the offendable humourless types I probably should mention this post is a joke.
Feeder/feedee relationships are very real though, I saw a documentary on the topic with real "couples" involved in it and its unbelievably disturbing and hilarious.
The getting bored with the feedee and incinerating it "advice" came from my own sick mind though, and I should recieve whatever derision that brings

 

I am also trying to gain weight. Am currently trying the slimfast/complan idea, alternatively see link

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_living/your_weight/reaching_gain.shtml