I am actually a regular poster on sciforums, but with a new screenname. I am a graduate student who has broken the rules; I slept with one of my students. I could (and perhaps should) be kicked out of school. What would you do if you were I?
I thought this was normal? well, I mean, people have affairs in the lab all the time. On all kind of levels. We have had a postdoc who married his PhD student. Groupleaders who 'get together' with students. etc etc. Are these things very secret in your environment? Here most people know what is going on usually.
Without knowing more about the situation...were I you, I'd chalk it up as a learning experience, and use better judgment next time [assuming you are remorseful, as you sound]. On the other hand, were I actually you, I'm not sure you'd find anything to be remorseful about, unless you used your position to coerce the student.
dob yourself in and get expelled. It's obviously the only thing you can do to feel better about yourself.
If you were an honest person you would resign. If you were a dishonest person you wouldn't say anything and hope that you never get caught and go on with your life at school.
They are just shit rules. Don't mind those. It is more a question under what kind of conditions you had sex with a student. If it is just one of those things that happened than who gives a shit.
are you on the faculty? if you are a grad student you're probably an adjunct, in which case i don't think that's an actual rule for you. more of a guideline. what is your other name?
Mistakes are made, shit happens. Lesson learned and move on with your life, assuming the other person is doing the same. Now if this person is preparing to screw you over, then bow out as gracefully as you can. It is your mistake, you won't have any choice but to deal with it in that case. Just don't prematurely dump your academic career over it just because of guilt or whatever, if you don't have to.
You fucked up. Plain and simple. You should have at least kept your pants on until the person finished the course they were taking under you. You better keep your mouth shut and hope the other person does as well, because to be found out, while you might not be expelled, or even suspended, if you're lucky, I suspect you would for sure have your teaching assistantship pulled. A grad student with a teaching assistantship is separate from an adjunct, which is merely a part-time professor. It's a different contract. TAs are giving a yearly stipend, generally given in two payments, one at the beginning of both the fall and spring semesters, while adjuncts are paid per semester course, usually broken down into monthly payments. And banging a student taking your course will have serious repercussion regardless of your level.
What a creep universities you all go too. Whatever has happened to academic freedom? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! "definitly not serious" You should marry here now Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! How can you life with such a sin Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Dammit did the world forget about the sexual revolution??
Why is fishface even worried about this? Its nobodies business and who's going to find out.... lets imagine fishface is a guy.... The girl he sleep with tells one of her friends, and then what? The friend is outraged at him having taken advantage of this person who can vote and drink alcohol, have babies, get married and do anything for herself. So the friend goes to God Knows Who and makes a complaint, then fishface is in a whole heap of trouble, Maybe. Does that sound like it's gonna happen? cos' that is all i could see happening and i can't see it happening.
Are you people kidding? It has nothing to do with academic freedom, and has everything to do with being seen as a conflict of interest. If you're having a relationship with a student it can be construed as having the potential of a teacher showing favoritism to the particular student, or the student having sex with the teacher in order to secure a better grade.
It is just science mate. We are not holding a button that can potenially destroy the world or a key to the vault containing all the riches of the world. Who gives a shit who has sex with whom? If some student screws a grad student because of favouritism than this student should drop out of school immediately. Not because the student did something immoral, but because the student is a moron with no brain! Hei, it is science. You can't make any serious money. You will never have any prestige because you slept with someone. Nobody gives a shit. You are a good scientist when you come up with good papers and good research. Do you think you will be one day a leader of a succesful research group because you slept with the right people? This is not the business world or politics. We have to produce more than just figures or words. We have to produce good science. Scientist is a marginal job. Scientists are lucky that they are allowed to do science. Nobody wants to be a scientist unless you are a bit weird or crazy. Anyone who is stupid enough to have sex with another scientist to propell their career should probably be sterilized immediately. Conflict of interest? What is the interest here? A better grade? So what? A better grade is not going to make you a good scientist. People with good grades often suck at actually doing science. Wait a sec, shit, you are right, they all must have slept with some grad student. It all makes sense now.
Let me spell it out for you spurious..... TA sleeps with student. The two possible outcomes are a) student gets good grade (either because they boffed the TA or because they were smart) or b) student gets poor grade. If a) and others in the class are aware of the relationship, they may go to the department head and complain. If b) the student goes to the department head and complains. Either way, TA loses the assistanceship when it becomes public. I was a grad student at one time and we were cautioned against social interaction with our students because as Spyke said it is a conflict of interest. In our world of hypersensitivity to sexual harassment, these situations are to be avoided. If you want to date the student, wait until they are no longer your student. Considering that the deed is already done, I would proceed carefully hoping that the student is mature enough to understand the situation. I wish you luck, it would be a shame to lose what you've worked for just because you couldn't resist a nice piece of tail.
let me adjust my advice then: Go to the person in charge (who got there by having good grades), and tell them everything. Then hope that they will fire you so you can go to european university where you can have some good old-fashioned fun. shit, we have our annual retreat next week. I'll bet that worse things than this will happen.
Um, I'm talking about the real world. You guys are treating it like a fantasyland. Two students want to bang each other, go ahead. Two TAs want to bang each other, go ahead. Two professors want to bang each other, go ahead. But mixing those worlds will get you in trouble, plain and simple. While academia may not seem like the real world to the student, it most certainly is the real world to those who work in it, and anything that smacks of nepotism will have repercussions. It's irrelevant whether or not that seems draconian to you; it's simply good policy, particularly in these days of political correctness. No, it's just nepotism, or at least seen as having the potential for nepotism.
