George Bush is sitting up in bed, watching old re-reuns of THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW, eating Doritos GW: Man, I sure wished I had a fella as competent as that Barney Fife to put in command of our Homeland Security. LAURA: *mutters, trying to sleep*: I wish I had a man as attractive and virile as Barney Fife... GW: Whazzat honey? Laura: Shut up, George. I'm trying to sleep. Suddenly, In a great flash of blinding light, The Lord Almighty appears before the President! GW: Holy Wow! Laura! It's the Lord Almighty! Laura: *groans* Not again. Shut up, George! I wish you'd start drinking again! At least then you only imagined pink elephants and hispanic strippers! The Lord: G.W. Bush! Listen to thy Lord now! For he has come to commandeth thee! GW: You betcha, Lord! You want some Doritos? The Lord: ...No. No thank you. GW: You sure? It's Ranch flavor! *waggles bag enticingly* The Lord: NO THANK YOU. Ahem. As I said. I have come to command thee on a great mission! You must ameliorate the sufferings in the Middle East by bringing security and peace unto them! GW: Cool! ay-me-le-o-rate, means, like - burn up in a fire right? Like napalm!? The Lord: NO! It means... GW: And security and peace is current intel speak for 'oil buisness based military government' right?!? THE LORD: What?? NO, you thundering imbecile! GW: Sorry. I get all confusedizized on the new code words and such. *munches Doritos* The Lord: *becoming righteously angry now* I give up! This is worse than talking to Reagan! This is worse than talking to Bakker! How did a man with less brains than a mollusk become the most powerful leader on this planet?! GW: Hehe. My folks got a lot of money, Lord. The Lord:*enraged* ENOUGH! I GIVE UP! This creation crap has gotten way out of hand! I'm going to push the Armageddon time table forward! GW: Hey, let me know if you need a hand with that! The Lord: ..and YOU, you spinless ignorant creature...YOU I curse with a two inch manhood for the rest of your days! The Lord whips off a lightning bolt that stikes GW in the groin, and dissapears in a blinding flash! GW: Bye Lord! Ya'll come back soon! Curious, he peeks underneath his pajama bottoms. A look of happy surprise speads across his face. GW: Laura! Laura! The Lord done blessed me with an extra inch! Praise be to the Lord! Laura: Shut UP, GEORGE!
....In the next episode, George has a meating with Allah and we will see what is hidden in Lauras purse, Stay tuned Folks!
