The MIB Ufologist

Better Song... Jim Croce, I've Got A Name





“Savant Simulation Designer”. Trained not by universities but by Stephen V Cole, Philip J Klass, Neil Peart, and his many other idols, “Baby Bond” is his grandfather's favorite grandson and the only one he really tried to teach things too. “Agent Jay” went through “Grandpa's Boot Camp” and just naturally has many of the “Bond Aspects” of Jinker Pinker. Alexander Edward Michalik has much of the other half... the athletic daredevil... “It skips a generation”. Born to design games and simulations Marc “Kavik Kang” Michalik, a former member of the SFB Staff, stumbled upon what he calls “Rube”. Rube is the “4th Generation of Artificial Time”, an evolution of Steve Cole's way of making games, specifically his “Impulse Chart” from Star Fleet Battles... a continuation of 250 years of history of military simulation design. Rube is the primitive fundamental basis of “CyberSpace” and of something very much like “The Matrix”, which is game design... not programming or high math. Before taking civilian game design to its current height of evolution, “The Crown Prince Who Will Never Be” was... believe it or not... “A Royal Family of the MIBs”... among the top “Ufologists” of the 1990's who defeated the legendary Philip J Klass's method of “debunkery” as “The One & Only Great Wall Debunker”... I out debated Philip J Klass, in an aviation debate, through “The Total Package” of game design trickery and debate skills against the raw debate skills of Philip J “Dean Adams” Klass. “Baby Bond” essentially “won the UFO debate on UseNet”, and even later convinced DIA to publicly acknowledge the existence of Area 51 in 1996. But then... I was the Crown Prince Who Will Never Be and didn't even fully realize that at the time... so I think my simply asking them too and having a good reason was all it actually took for me to convince them.


As the only one of my generation of the family to know anything about any of this, because I have those aspects of “King Edward” in me to have (very easily) seen it all, with my father eventually admitting a lot of it and wanting my help to figure out what his own father actually did, this family tree is actually my way of saying all of this to anyone who wants to hear it. Even my own family, since none of them would believe any of this... even though it is all so obvious. None of my generation was supposed to know about any of this, the only reason I know about it is that it couldn't be kept from me... “Baby Bond”. I began asking my father questions about grandpa when I was only 12 or 13, long before he began “asking for my help” to figure out what he really did in Tokyo. My uncle Richard isn't much of a secret, that he worked with just about every major defense contractor over the course of his career and was an MIT electronics “wizard” of the 1970's and 80's is not a secret. My father is in about 20 volumes of Who's Who and was a member of George HW Bush's “Inner Circle”, he's not really that big of a “secret” either. It is my grandfather who you will find almost nothing about, other than “All records lost in the fire at the National Archives in 1972”... What conspiracy theorists will tell you is the classic “shadow response” meaning “this must be something big”. It is saying that ESM's records were lost in a very small fire in a small area of the National Archives... along with all of the files about UFO's and the JFK assassination. Yeah...


So, I really do get to say that... “I am Agent Jay! Baby Bond! 50% Bond, 50% Bond's abilities... 50% destroyed by decades of smoking superkill weed! The Bond Who Can't Remember Where He Just Left His Gun... because he doesn't even have one!!!” And I'm the last one who will ever be able to say that, because neither Mike or I ever had any children... so the “Royal Line” of the Michalik family ends with us. The direct genetic line of our family that is descended from “Jinker Pinker” will be extinct once Mike & I are gone... unless Alexander Edward Michalik has a son someday in the future. But in the “Age of Kings” or “Galactic Concordium”... that isn't the same thing. The children of a second wife “don't really count”. Only my first son could truly continue the “Dynasty”... so in that sense we are “extinct” with my generation.


The most well-known family story of Jinker Pinker & Baby Bond was the Thanksgiving Garand Incident. When I was just 4 years old I fired a gun for the first time, in grandpa's basement gun range which was just a very small steel trap against the far wall of the basement. His aim was so good that it was safe for him to shoot into such a small target inside of his house. I sat between his legs and pulled the trigger when he told me... and nobody in the house had any idea that an M1 Garand was about to go off in the basement just as HAM was serving thanksgiving dinner. HAM screeching “Ed, stop shooting guns in the basement!!!” is probably what everyone who was there remembers the most. When I was 12 years old ESM, HAM, & RAM visited us in Colorado together, shortly after EFM & CC became a couple. The “Upper Triangle” “Conspired With Science” to repair a big chunk of the 1.5 inch thick slate of my father's very expensive imported European pool table that broke off during the move too the new house. Between the three of them (ESM might as well have been a geologist, EFM knew everything about mining & tunneling, RAM was a scientist) they worked out a formula to create something close to “artificial slate” and molded a new corner onto that slab of slate. It worked for a few years, but warped a little bit after that. But the true reason for the visit was ESM's desire to stand on top of NORAD... which he did by taking us to see the USAF Academy in Colorado Springs, from a distance, on the way to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo... where anyone can go to stand on top of NORAD.


Post Dad “Real World Cygnus The Twelve” End Story Song (Baby Bond is “Born Again” in The Professor's “religion” of the PDU): Rush, Available Light

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

Wow.
Q got some form of contact or response in post #33, but contact was quickly lost.
River's posts totally ignored.
Meanwhile... Earth to Kavik Kang are you receiving? Over.

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

I hear you just fine, sheep...

Jinker Pinker: "Marc, these would be the first living creatures to die in a nuclear war..."
Grandma Helen: "Ed, don't say things like that to the children!!!"

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!

The MIB Ufologist

 

Log in or Sign up to hide all adverts.

I'm sure it's just a "spooky coincidence" but there is a very recent "Q" (Almost certainly General Flynn) post #4433... the American flag with the file name "Castle_Rock_Godspeed"... EFM died recently, living in Castle Rock...

Probably just "Coincidence of Context" that I am creating myself... ;-)

 

With the timing of Q post #4433... just to be safe, I better salute General Flynn in thanks too his tribute to my father...

7

...just to be safe.

And a theme song for you, General Flynn, just to be safe...

 

Is that the old ''Over Probe'' playing up again?

It is no coincidence. I have had Q watched for sometime now. Definitely something non-civilian about him. Will keep you informed.

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Damn. Don't use my code name on public forums.

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

 

Shall we use a " foghorn " instead

Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

.

Just to make sure you don't hit the rocks .

 

The four I've already posted are the "Stars of the Show"... but there are two more geniuses in the last three generations of our family. You met the "Upper Triangle" already, in PDU terms... and my "PDU Bio", the first of the "Lower Triangle". My brother "Mike Duck" and half-brother "Vulcan" still remain.


*** The Last Ones ***

The last generation of the Royal Line of Edward S “Jinker Pinker” Michalik... Marc & Michael, who lived a life of “Shadow Success” as if an “Aura of Shadow” surrounded them. Both together and separately they have succeeded in fairly big things... but neither of them has EVER received any credit for anything that they have ever done. Or ever made any money from any of it. Marc & Michael have lived a life of “lower middle class poverty”, which of course isn't real poverty, their entire adult lives while achieving some pretty significant things along the way. They have lived as roommates for most of their lives, but only to afford being able to stay in nice newly constructed neighborhoods... not in that “weird brothers who live together” kind of way.


Indra & Kavik Kang's Theme Song: Faith No More, Epic





Name: Michael Donald “Mercury” Michalik, “Soul”

Theme Song: Beastie Boys, Paul Revere



Nicknames: Mike D, Indra, Zappa Jr, Roccobagadonuts, Arch Angel Michael

Title: Prince Michael

Code Name: Mike Duck

Publicly Known Code Name: Mike D

Personal Victory Phrase: “My name is Mike D and I'm about to get money!”

HAM's Initials: MDM. Mike “Duck” Michalik, the source of his code name and a tribute to his Donald “Uncle Duck” Del Cegino.

Signature Items: Soccer Ball, Stratocaster Guitar, Fender Champ Amplifier, Roccobagadonuts Stuffed Rocco, Red Mini-Bike, 2-of-a-kind NFL/IKNFL/Madden Logo Football

Favorite Activity: Buying, Selling, & Playing Guitars, Watching & Studying the NFL & NBA, Doing Nothing At All

Car: TMNT Battle Bus

Post Dad “Arch Angel Michael” Theme Song: Triumph, Never Surrender



“Frank Zappa, Jr.” Michael does not have DEB. In fact, only the true “Royal Line” of the family had DEB... Jinker Pinker, 008 Ball, & Baby Bond. No other member of the family that we know of ever did, except of course for ESM's father which is where he got it from. Mike D played soccer as a child, and was very good at it. Soccer is about the last thing a person with DEB would even consider doing, all that kicking of each others legs, soccer might be the worst nightmare of someone with DEB. Mike was an ace little league soccer player who won ball control skills competitions and played right wing on a “ringer team” that broke all the rules to get the best kids from all across the city. They were called the Sequoia's and they won several championships and even defeated a team of 16 year old girls in an exhibition match when they were 14 year old boys. Mike D is a “strange gamer”... some type of anomaly. He played RPGs with his friends when he was a child and teenager... D&D, TMNT, several of them... he played a lot of the earliest computer games like Wizardry, Star Fleet I, Ultima, and the Nintendo games... but then he stopped playing games at about 17 or 18. Mostly. That's the “anomaly” part. Indra rarely plays a game, but when he does... he's the best in the world at it. Every time. It's not an exaggeration... after he “quit”... Front Page Sports: Football... Subspace... and maybe only one or two others in the last 25 years... but the very few games he's played since turning 18, it's very strange... but if he is drawn too it, he WILL own it!!!

 

Michael Donald “Indra” Michalik is the true creator of the player ratings used in John Madden Football today, and of all player ratings in all sports games. They were all derived from our IKNFL series of “Unofficial Stat Patches” for Sierra's Front Page Sports: Football. The simulation designer Kavik Kang had just left Task Force Games & the SFB Staff and the first thing he wound up doing in an attempt to be noticed by the computer game industry was “fix” FPS:FB. When Indra & Kavik Kang began IKNFL, as INNFL on The Imagination Network (one of the very first commercial online games and online game communities), “player ratings” in sports games were just random numbers that nobody had bothered to think out at all. When we were done with IKNFL, you could cover up the player's names and pick out who most of the players were by their ratings if you knew them well. And IKNFL98e, the final version, almost certainly still stands today as the most accurate predictor of NFL football ever created. Rather than make a name for myself with this, Madden wound up making a name for themselves with it instead. I set the initial levels for everything, to make it all work out right statistically and for the players to “look right”... but Indra was the sports guru who know how to rate each player so well that NFL scouts sent us e-mails shocked that our knowledge seemed to be as great as theirs and they couldn't understand how that could be. It was Mike.. it was the NFL/NBA “Guru Indra”... and he, too this day, is the ONLY person on the planet who could possibly tell NFL players what their actually Madden ratings are. Nobody at EA knows how to determine that, only “Indra” knows how to determine that.


Michael is much more of a Del Cegino than a Michalik in many ways. He is a lot like Grandpa Del Cegino... “It skips a generation”. Mike is “The Statistician”, although he probably would laugh at that because he never learned advanced math. But that is what he naturally is, and he shows it in his work on IKNFL and the way he knows things that he gets into like football, basketball, certain games he rarely finds, and guitars. Mike Duck is known among the online guitar community as “Roccobagodonuts”, one of the top general knowledge experts of Stratocaster guitars. For a few years he was the scourge of the online guitar stores, buying up any valuable guitars they misidentified and put up at low prices. Most people who “know everything” about Stratocaster guitars will recognize the name “Roccobagodonuts”. He also plays guitar in a style that sounds a lot like Frank Zappa, his greatest influence. Mike was also the voice of the “final boss” Sinistar (and several others) in GameFX/THQ's Sinistar: Unleashed, a game that M&M served as the “rescue designer” on in 1999. During the period following the death of EFM Michael was the only member of the immediate family who did not fall apart in one way or another, only Mike Duck was the “rock who would not roll”. At a restaurant during the first few days after M&M returned home the owner of the Italian restaurant started a conversation with my Italian mother which led to her telling the story of everything that had happened since my father died... and the religious restaurant owner began calling Michael the “Arch Angel Michael” of the story... and this has become his newest nickname.


Post Dad “Real World Mike D” End Story Song: Billy Joel, My Life

 

Seems you forgot your main codename: Nutbag.

 

Name: Alexander Edward “Vulcan” Michalik, “Heart”

Theme Song: Rage Against The Machine, Bulls On Parade



Nicknames: Alex, Little Soldier, Baby Bond Junior

Title: Prince Alexander

Code Name: Corporal Bond

Signature Items: Grandpa's 1911 Given Too Him By EFM, Grandpa's Drill Instructor Whistle Given Too Him By M&M, 008 Ball's Sanitized Book of the Family History.

HAM's Initials: A&M. Assumed, MDM was the last member of the family to be given initials by HAM. It would be a reference to ESM's fishing poem for when you don't catch any fish... “We fished in the river, we fished in the stream, but the fish that we ate... we got at the A&P”.

Car: 1975 CJ5 Jeep

Alexander Edward Michalik is the first born son of Edward Francis Michalik & Cecilia Catherine Zoltanski. Alex is about 20 years younger than Marc. “Vulcan” joined the US Marines when he graduated high school and served in Afghanistan during the War on Terror as an engineer for the V-22 Osprey. After leaving the military, following in Jinker Pinker's footsteps... Alex jumped over to Uncle Richard's path and became a jet engine designer. Alex choose Rolls-Royce over other places that were offering him jobs, such as NASA & General Electric, to begin his career as a jet engine designer.

Alex completes the “Lower Triangle” of the family. Marc “Baby Bond” Michalik, Michael “Mike Duck” Michalik, & Alex “Corporal Bond” Michalik. All three had talents and abilities that would have made them valuable in “The Family Business”, but the third generation of the family was never involved with any of the “government work” of the “Upper Triangle” of the family... Jinker Pinker, 008 Ball, & Wizard. Had their been a “third generation” of Michalik's involved with DIA, it would have been “Baby Bond” (The Simulation Designer & Subverter), “Mike Duck” (The Statistician & Ace Gamer), & “Corporal Bond” (The Soldier & Scientist). Or, the “Lower Triangle” of the family... in PDU terms. Marc is the thinker, planner, subverter, and simulation designer. Michael is the musician, ace gamer, and statistician with special insight. Alex is the athlete, daredevil, soldier, and engineer. Marc & Mike are both fairly old to have children and Alex, the first son of EFM's second wife CC Zoltanski, is probably the only chance that their will ever be another direct male descendant of Jinker Pinker beyond this generation.

 

No, the "main one" is "Agent Jay"... because I'm not a real MIB, just an honorary one that the real ones love for several different reasons. For one thing, I'm their comedian. I am the only one in the civilian world who can be that. Of course, they have Zeus, who is a LOT more funny that I am... but he is an insider! They like to play games with me, too... I'm pretty good. I even met four in the real world once, and they even dressed like MIBs for the occasion and could barely keep from laughing about it.

Welcome back to reality, sheep...

For all of the American Cockroaches out there, you've heard it many times before... the theme song for all those with no name.



"Shine The Light & Climb To Glory!"

-- M&M, 009

 

This is good... EFM used to brag too me about being in so many volumes of Who's Who by suggesting that I use it as a sure fire, can't lose bar bet.

His children are also listed with him. I never actually did it, but since nobody would believe it I could have made a lot of money on "I am in over 20 volumes of Who's Who" if that were actually the kind of thing you could check out from a bar...



- M&M

 

And, I can see that some of you have been brainwashed by the KGB. Allow "Baby Bond" to deprogram you.

In the 50-60's there was this thing called the "Red Scare!!!"... and the assassination of Senator McCarthy, but we'll worry about that later. It's the Red Scare that matters now, because I can already see that there are some victims here.

Intelligence agents are normal humans, just like you, who just have a job. They are not like aliens or bigfoot, they exist and, even more than that... they actually do things in the world. ESPECIALLY the KGB. They are bigger than everyone else combined because "The Game" is their thing. KGB Sorcerers run The Game, all we can do is play. But they exist, their is nothing paranormal about them, and they are working and actually doing things in the real world every day.

Here... Look. When they are incompetent bumbling Keystone Cop Flunkies you even see them! You can't see us, because we actually know what we are doing... "Shadows"... but just look at these idiots...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centr...Langley,_Virginia_-_Corrected_and_Cropped.jpg

Look at all those cars in the parking lot! How do you think they got there??? I bet, it seems most likely, that people drove them there. And that at the moment this picture was taken, they were inside the building working. Doing things in the real world. Right?

Does anyone still need help with deprogramming on this matter?



You Go, Cindy!!!

 

You need to see a psychiatrist.

 

Can you find one who actually knows more about psychology than me? So I don't just toy with them...

 

Ok... Some real history about “Area 51”. It has actually had many names, made famous as “Dreamland” which was the shortest-lived name of them all. The conspiracy theories surrounding it are ridiculous to people of the “Valiant Thor & The Galactic Federation of Light” era of UFOs, what the story was before the “Falcon & Condor X-Files Reboot”. Back then, it was legendary, not really any kind of secret... as “Paradise Ranch”, or often shortened to simply “The Ranch”. Famous among aviation buffs.

It is an imitation of a Russian idea, a small airbase in WWII called “Kapustin Yar” where they reverse engineered foreign technology, mostly German of course. Kapustin Yar still exists today, even with an underground facility just like “Area 51” (I still call it Paradise Ranch... I've always liked that name).

It is the HQ base for the Foreign Technology Recovery Division, which is the stereotypical “UFO retrieval team” many think of when they think of “Men in Black”... like my “Uncle Wizard”! Haha!!!

Nellis AFB is also the home of “Opposing Force”, OPFOR... because obviously, they go together.

My father and I don't know what ESM did after the war, be we both very strongly suspect, as in it might of even been his idea, that he was involved with OPFOR after the war. He most likely remained an instructor. He had a medical condition that would have always automatically made him “not the top man for the job in this moment”. It's just exactly who he was in every way... “Know your enemy better than you know yourself...” and OPFOR just SCREAMS OUT “Pinker, Jinker Pinker!”.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opposing_force





M&M: “Shine The Light!”

ESM: “Climb to Glory!”

EFM: “Tarot Cards & Crystal Balls...”

 

Oh... and... Foreign Technology... OPFOR...

Poker Playing Cowboy Magician Comedians...

Foreigners… "Aliens"... BOO!!!

 

I like to have fun with a lot of different songs for Jinker Pinker, and there a lot of James Bond themes... but his father died of a medical condition we all have very young from working in mines with it. ESM took his place in the mines and supported the family of 6 when he was 14. He was a sergeant throughout the war, only rushed through OCS as the war was ending to be made a Lieutenant, because OSS agents are officers and so is everyone on MacArthur's staff.

"The Real, True James Bond Theme" is actually...



Baby Bond, 009