Free at Last, Free at Last, Thank God Almighty...

The mirror? As for each other, I am mostly monogamous. However, the popularity of polyamory makes that point moot. In fact, the woman I'm seeing has a serious girlfriend. We've been talking for some time and in a couple of weeks I am taking them both out for dinner... and see what happens... reckless abandon here we go again!

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And btw, this was her idea, not mine.

 

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Well, if those beautiful young women discover eachother, or worse -- the mirror, then there will be none for you left ...

 

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An older man can generally offer advantages younger men can't. But it is more than that. A lot of young men have been damaged by internet porn; not permanently but they have a warped perspective [See the No Fap movement and porn-induced sexual dysfunction in young men]. And there is some significant percentage of young men who have never developed social skills due to internet gaming and such, in addition to porn addiction. In short, they have spent the last ten years in a dark room. On top of that, factor in things like the PUA movement. The leaves younger women looking for something else.

I am a romantic and love spoiling a woman. I am always gentleman, respectful, kind, and considerate. Also, most women like to be adored and I'm just the guy who can do it. I knock myself out for every date. I also eat a highly controlled diet, workout hard, and constantly fight the effects of age in every way that I can. I am smart, extroverted, and have a successful career. Most of all, I have fierce sense of humor. Some women find this all appealing. Also, I learned only by chance that my natural style of conversation and joking around comes off as flirting. So I learned to ramp that up and it works. Once you get a woman laughing you are halfway home.

 

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Beware of the envy and loneliness of women of your own age ...

 

True story! One would think I have a responsibility to engage only in traditional relationships. Responsibility to whom? I have a right to live my own life. I have had to remind myself of that a number of times when taking heat from the occasionally offended woman my age. In fact it would be dishonest to date any woman and pretend I want more than fun and a good friend. Most women my age are looking for more.

 

Men like you are disrupting the balance in the relationship market. Although, arguably, the relationship market has been in disarray ever since Adam and Eve ...

 

Also divorced, about 30 years ago now. I made a bad choice and she was a great actor. She tried to kill me a couple of times and I exited, stage left, after 5 years of effort. 6 months then done, but that is here in Detroit where stuff moves right along. It was not the institution, it was my poor choice of partners.

Wife 2.0 and I have been together 26 years now and are doing quite well, thanks. With T=184.6ng/dl, the aftermath of major surgery, 3.5 years of intermittent chemo and 40 daily hits of radiation...sex ain't too far up the list for me right now, though I have hopes. At 65, girls much under 40 are babies to me. They are too young to relate to me in general and are uninteresting to me overall due to lack of compatibility and lack of shared interests. Don't matter how cute they may be, at one point or another they are gonna need to think a tad to carry on their half of the conversation and that just don't happen.

My observation here is this - when you place strong preconditions up front (attachment to the future), your attachment is not to the moment or the present and you are not open to life circumstances due to your attachment to the past. Emphasis on good looks and hot sex, focus on youthful girls, statements about 'living in the moment' and 'freedom' are a red herring. To wit: your statements are logically inconsistent, you are not being here, now. Perhaps some more introspection is in order to help clarify things for yourself.

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I don't find that age is a barrier but it requires looking for women who are mature for their age. Beyond that, If she has the intellect and common interests, that's all that matters. We do great. The woman I'm seeing now was a professional ballet dancer until recently. Due to a knee injury she is back in school continuing work on her Ph.D. in neuropharmaceuticals. Smart, beautiful, fun, engaging, caring, loving, fantastically fit, what more can a man ask. The person matters far more than age. I have met very few women of any age who have as much going and as much to offer. And I have met women who are over 50 who have nothing over some 25 year olds I've met, in terms of maturity. Beyond a certain point, maturity often has little do with age.

Logically inconsistent? A red herring? How?

I know up front that I am physically attracted to youth and beauty. That isn't living in the future. That is just being honest.

And clarity is how I arrived here in the best place I've been in my life. It is funny how much clarity one gains while looking down the barrel of a gun. Also, I find that youth and beauty are perfectly acceptable.

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Just like women used to tell their daughters, "it is just as easy to marry a rich man as it is a poor man", likewise for women. It is just as easy to date young beauties as women my own age. Okay really it is a lot harder but the rewards are obvious. I can certainly fall in love with a young beauty just as easily as I can an older woman. Already I am on my second love. My first was unlike anything I have ever experienced. I was completely unprepared anything like that. It was an amazing experience - one of the most profound and powerful experiences of my life. So I decided I will settle for nothing less and the search began to find that again. And here I am. It will never be like the first but we definitely have the magic. I am drawn to her like a magnet. In all, I went through about 500 women online before I found her. And I spent a small fortune at Starbucks!

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It was funny when I started going to the same Starbucks for the 3rd or 4th time. The women who work there were starting to recognize me and I was always in with a different young woman!

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PS. I do require that I fall in love with her... or that I feel like I could. The first time I met my first love, my knees almost went out from under me and I had to sit down before I fell down. With this one, I definitely get a rush just thinking about her. The sight of her fills me with joy. Every moment with her is all consuming. Hours pass like minutes. I settle for nothing less than magic. That is my new motto. And I am falling in love again.

Interesting bit that I've learned: Behind the scenes, the world of ballet is pretty much one big sex fest. And it isn't hard to understand. You have all of these wonderfully fit young people with highly artistic, passionate personalities, engaged in often highly erotic dances together, day after day.

 

This is what I'm talking about when I say reckless abandon. Last week I was in a local store I frequent where I saw a strikingly beautiful young lady working; a new employee, about age 23. She was talking with a young man who also works there but knows me well. I heard her say something about Hawaii. Then I saw him point at me and say, "You had better watch out. He'll take you up on that!". So I looked at her and said very matter of factly, "You want to go to Hawaii? I'll take you to Hawaii". "Okay", she replied.
Me: "I'm serious".
Her: "So am I!".
Me: "I'm not kidding around"
Her: "Neither am I"
Me: "Okay, we're going to Hawaii"
Her: Okay.
As I was on my way out I asked again: So if I come back with tickets you're not going to back out? Nope, she replied.

I went back a few days later and asked if she still wanted to go. She started making excuses about being too busy and hedging. I told her it will take a few months to make the arrangements, which peaked her interest a bit. So I told her about my first love and how we met in this exact manner and what a wonderful relationship it was. I then asked if she would meet me at Starbucks and we can talk. She said okay. So I gave her my card with my mobile contact. I haven't heard from her since so I assumed she had changed her mind.

However, I went in today and she approached me. She said her phone had died and she was trying to find me on facebook but couldn't [true, I'm not on facebook]. So she gave me her phone number and said she would have a new phone in a few days. We agreed to meet and it looks like I'm taking her to Hawaii!!! Woohooo! Damn she's cute!!! I had already told my new gf about it so I'm covered there. She [my new gf] even seemed to get a little sexy steamy because I had the balls to hit on a beautiful young women like that. Women like confidence.

I've done this twice now and I'm apparently 2 for 2.

 

<----------- Florida divorce 41 years ago. She went through 2 lawyers who wrote pages about what an asshole I was.
I fought those jackasses to a standstill. (and got progressively less polite)
I convinced the third one that his success depended on brevity.
I quoted the needed lines:
To wit:
"Whereas the marriage is irretrievably broken.
and Whereas an equatable property settlement has been agreed upon.
We hereby petition the court for a divorce."
When the single page arrived, I signed it.
Back then it only cost $29.00

3 months later she moved back in with me, but didn't stay long.
It took me another 3 years to get over her & our marriage.
She may well have been the most intelligent woman I ever met, but very high maintenance(kinda wore me out), and a tad on the crazy side.
Over the years, she would call me to chat when she was feeling down and blue.
She said that I could always cheer her up.
Poor girl died young---50 and out.

 

Soooooo, she has still been hedging a bit. But she moved here with a friend [also a very attractive young women] whom I had already met. Her friend didn't know I knew they were friends but I had figured that out right away. I saw her friend tonight and asked if she knows who I am. She did and we started talking. She made a comment about how she'd like to go to Hawaii, so I asked her to go too. I explained my approach, that I know this is all just for fun and I have no long term expectations; but am open to long lasting friendship if things work out. That's all I really want. In the end she was far more assertive and onboard than her friend and said they would talk. Apparently I'm taking both of them to Hawaii... or at least one of them.

In addition to that, I am seeing a young woman who has a serious girlfriend and they want us all to get together. So as near as I can tell right now, I am dating two pairs of women!!!

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Don't that take the cake.

 

Congrats to you, Ivan!

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Right. It's settled then.

I'm going to swing by your house, hogtie you, put you in a blender, and make shakes out of you for distribution to all my middle-aged friends.

 

Um... I'm not quite sure how to take that!

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Now 3 for 3. I got confirmation tonight. All three of us are going. But rather than Hawaii, it looks like we're doing Vegas. We can talk about something more exotic the next time. Now what's going to be interesting is working out the sleeping arrangements. I don't think these two are bi but I haven't ruled it out yet either. It is surprising how many young women have experimented with bisexual experiences. My current gf had her first bi experience at ballet camp!

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About 25-30% of women in college admit to trying something at least once.

I would imagine that is representative of the general population of young women and correlates highly with young women willing to see older men. I suspect it gets back to being free-spirited, having a sense of adventure, having a willingness to try new things, and having a strong sex drive. I have dated a number of women who are open to bisexual experiences and I have done a couple of threesomes already.

I have a buddy from Pakistan at another local store. His family is back in Pakistan and he is building his business so he can bring them all here. He has been following my exploits for quite some time. One day I was telling him about my two threesomes. Normally I get quite a reaction from him, but this time, almost nothing. So I asked, of all the things I tell you that shock you, this is one that I expected to really get your attention. He looked at me completely unimpressed, rolled his eyes a bit and said, back home, I have three wives.

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DOH!

 

It’s all fun and games until someone falls in love. And someone always does. lol I’ve never done something like you’re doing but, I have a few friends who do the FWB thing, and someone always falls in love when it was supposed to be just about sex.

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Yeah, that would be me.

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I fell crazy in love with the first young women. It was unlike anything I have ever experienced. I was devastated when she left and it took a year before I stopped wanting to cry every day. But I wouldn't give up the time we had for anything. It was one of the true highlights of my life. I learned a lot and came out of it a better and stronger person.

Before she even walked out the door I was already online meeting other women, and I kept pushing ahead. But my heart was breaking every day. But oh my gosh, I wish I could post a photo. She was gorgeous! Breathtaking!!! Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine being with someone like her at my age.

It is pretty easy for a beautiful young woman to steal the heart of a man my age and far less likely she will fall hard for me. That just goes with the turf. So I accept that up front. It is all about living in the moment. If some woman who captures my heart falls hard for me, great! Otherwise, the best I should hope for is to have some great time together and then get my heart broke. And I tell them that. It is the price of dating women who are far too young for me.

I have been hedging on the threesome with my current gf and her gf because those situations are usually dicey if you all know each other. I have read a lot of stories and most don't end well. Someone almost always gets hurt. It is hard to see me getting between two women who have a relationship and not taking a hit somehow. But I guess they do this from time to time and it works out fine.

 

You see, the first woman I met set the standard. I fell in love with her almost on sight. I didn't believe in love at first sight but I do now. I loved her more than I have ever loved anyone or anything, and I still do. But I was faced with the harsh truth: I could either accept that our time together is limited, or I could walk away and never have any time together at all. Not a hard choice. I would take every moment I could get, and I did. Even now my heart is breaking as I write this. But I had almost three years with her and they were the best years of my life. It was pure magic. I have never been so happy in my life! How can I regret that? It isn't possible. And it made me realize that having two or three amazing years with someone and then having to let go, is far better than waiting for something that may never come my way. Nothing I'm doing really changes anything except that I'm not going to waste a moment of the good years I have left, waiting.

It is indeed far better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. For the first time I really understood this and felt it in my heart. So I decided to spend the rest of my life with women who take my breath away. If I feel the magic [or whatever you want to call it] I jump. That is how I got the three best years of my life. That is how I have managed to date another dozen women who are out of my league and far too young for me. And that is how I met the woman who will be joining me with her friend, in Vegas.

My current gf thinks we may be together for some time to come, perhaps many years. So far it is all working out great. Every time I see her I get that feeling and can see this making me very happy. It's just very new still, so only time will tell. No love at first sight but I do think I am starting to fall for her. And of course she is young and beautiful and lights up any room she's in.

 

The three rules of polyamory:

1. Communicate.
2. Communicate.
3. Communicate.